Far from the Tree

Parents, Children and the Search for Identity

By: Andrew Solomon

Narrated by: Andrew Solomon

National Book Critics Circle Award, Nonfiction, 2013

From the National Book Award-winning author of the "brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic" (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a game-changer of a book about the impact of extreme personal and cultural difference between parents and children.

A brilliant and utterly original thinker, Andrew Solomon's journey began from his experience of being the gay child of straight parents. He wondered how other families accommodate children who have a variety of differences: families of people who are deaf, who are dwarfs, who have Down syndrome, who have autism, who have schizophrenia, who have multiple severe disabilities, who are prodigies, who commit crimes, who are transgender. Bookended with Solomon's experiences as a son, and then later as a father, this book explores the old adage that says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree; instead some apples fall a couple of orchards away, some on the other side of the world.

In 12 sharply observed and moving chapters, Solomon describes individuals who have been heartbreaking victims of intense prejudice, but also stories of parents who have embraced their childrens' differences and tried to change the world's understanding of their conditions. Solomon's humanity, eloquence, and compassion give a voice to those people who are never heard. A riveting, powerful take on a major social issue, Far from the Tree offers far-reaching conclusions about new families, academia, and the way our culture addresses issues of illness and identity.

©2012 Andrew Solomon (P)2012 Simon & Schuster, Inc

Critic reviews

"In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child's development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America - many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine - who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way." (President Bill Clinton)

"This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times - brave, compassionate and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions - how much are we defined by nature versus nurture? - and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down." (Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies)

"An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity." (Kirkus)

A peek into deeply challenged lives

If you could sum up Far from the Tree in three words, what would they be?

Eye-opening, poignant, triumphant

What was one of the most memorable moments of Far from the Tree?

The forgiveness of a healthcare worker by parents whose MDS child who died because of a random careless act.

How could the performance have been better?

I believe a different narrator, not the author but a professional actor would elevate the experience of listening.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The question of correcting 'flaws' of nature in lieu of accepting a creature as created by God and by genetics, etc. creates a paradox with mixed feelings and a sense of knowing that either choice can be right or wrong but inevitably is irrevocable.

Any additional comments?

For parents and future parents because you never know if you will be a subject of such a book.

absolutely insightful and inspiring

Solomons way of connecting with the families he interviews and his comparisons between social norm and acceptance is a compelling read.

Extraordinary

As someone who works with disabled children of all kinds, this book was a revelation. Well-researched and beyond thorough, it serves as an encyclopedia of emotions for those who interact with children who are “far from the tree.”

Previous reviewers have criticized the autism chapter. As someone who works directly with children who have autism, I agree that this is not the best chapter in the book. But to give this book a 1-Star review because they didn’t like the one chapter seems petty. This book wasn’t meant to be a how-to manual about working with kids who have autism. There are plenty of other books on that topic.

In my reading, no other book comes close to the thorough examination that Mr. Solomon gives to the concepts of parenthood and disability. I am beyond impressed, and I am grateful to him for documenting this world of experience.

A Masterful Treatise on Identity

A must read for every member of the human family Solomon seeks to understand how we respond to and embrace "other."

Emotional roller coaster of families and children

This book was amazing and it has changed my perspective forever. Everyone is a person, despite there difficulties and challenges. My heart breaks because of how cruel the world can truly be.

Worth Your Time

If for no other reason then to expand your empathy and acceptance of others, this book should be listened to.

ONE OF MY TOP 5 FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME

If every person in America read this book thoughtfully, we would see far reaching positive repercussions. Solomon delves into hundreds of lives and describes how they manage the lot they were given. He knew each family personally for years as he compiled the book. It is a long book, but the quickest way to appreciate the human experience, central to which is parenting.

A long book that covers a lot

A very interest look at a lot of different situations. Hard to get through at times but insightful and I'm glad I listened to the end

Magnum opus for disability awareness

As a psychologist, this is a text I see as a great resource for a graduate course on disabilities. Solomon offers profound insights and displays a great spirit of empathy. His expressiveness is technically exacting without ever sounding as though he is seeking to impress the reader. My only knock is that I do find his voice mildly abrasive as the reader; he has a PeeWee Herman-esque tonal quality, although deeper and more resonant, that I had to consciously bear with by focusing harder on appreciating the content rather than the delivery of the message. I don’t know if I was wearing out by the end of the book, but some of the chapters about criminality were more onerous for me to listen to - the vignettes became less purposeful and illustrative of the condition and seemed more shock-value oriented and tedious than in the earlier chapters.

A compelling and challenging story

Far from the Tree is a compelling and often challenging story. Solomon uses his own journey of being gay and his associated, self-loathing, discovery and eventual joyful embrace as a lens to understand the complex interplay between the undeniable challenges of being profoundly different from our parents/society and the resulting journey of social stigma, pain and growth. Solomon examines the resulting culture of being different and its inevitable conflict with mainstream culture. He also explores the value of difference as well as and the sometime wondrous nature of being a parent of the profoundly different.