Fair Play

A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)

By: Eve Rodsky

Narrated by: Eve Rodsky

A Reese Witherspoon x Hello Sunshine Book Club Pick

"A hands-on, real talk guide for navigating the hot-button issues that so many families struggle with." (Reese Witherspoon)

Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way....

It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the "shefault" parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family - and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it.

The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than 500 men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.

"Winning" this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space - as in, the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in.

©2019 Eve Rodsky (P)2019 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

One of Forbes Best Books of 2020

"A hands-on strategy to divide tasks and achieve household harmony." (Real Simple)

"[An] impressive debut.... Couples searching for ways to better manage their families and achieve a balance of domestic work will benefit from Rodsky's actionable strategy." (Publishers Weekly)

"Rodsky's system, which uses task cards divided between partners, is potentially revolutionary and [Fair Play] offers the right combination of venting and commiserating balanced by practical solutions and manageable approaches to tough conversations...poised to become a book-club favorite." (Booklist)

Could Be Ground Breaking . . . .

Great content, but at times instead of maintaining the focus on the groundbreaking ideas and system that will be life changing if implemented, it feels a bit to focused on the negative and bashing of husbands, not on the great solution she is providing. No, doubt husbands generally deserve it, but it doesn't help them move toward the solution. Still worth it for every couple to read and take advantage of, if the husband will listen/read through the whole book. In most situations the real challenge will be getting the husbands to buy into moving forward with the process of the better situation that will be the end result. While she does give great counsel towards the end about helping the husbands get on board, I suspect many husbands will not make it past the first few chapters because of the negativity and guilt she focuses on early in the book. Sometimes it feels like she is more worried about building camaraderie with other women that helping them to get past the hurdles of the pushback that many may experience from their husbands.

Super Helpful!

All around great information for a struggling father and partner trying to figure out the best way to provide help to my stay at home wife

Amazing! Balanced, fair, and positive!

Eve articulately provides a discussion amongst herself, experts, and real life examples about creating an environment of support, structure, and positivity in modern day marriage and family life. As a new wife and cat mom, even I related to the stories and struggles she walks us through in her book. A big thank you to Eve for giving so much thought and unicorn space time to finding a fair solution to the daily tasks and disagreements we all face. This is just what my husband and I were looking for to balance our deck!

fair play

I loved this book. this book will be on my shelf for the rest of my life. I would recommend this book to any woman or man that is struggling in their relationship with their marriage or long-term relationship to help organize and keep it fair.

mediocridad

Me encontré con varias partes del libro que me parecieron relleno, lo cual fue decepcionante. También me chocó la manera en que se utiliza la continuación del matrimonio como una amenaza para incentivar a seguir el programa del libro, lo que me pareció inmaduro y manipulador.

Además, me irritó que hasta el capítulo 7 el libro no planteara dejar de hacer ciertas cosas para reducir la carga; algo que ya venía pensando desde el primer capítulo. La estructura del programa, que consiste en compartir problemas para observar la reacción del otro, me disgustó. Creo que primero debería haberse construido una alianza en reuniones separadas.

Me sentí excluido y ofendido por la estructura de las tareas propuestas en el libro, que parecen sacadas de actividades que tradicionalmente realizan las mujeres, ignorando las tareas que realizan los hombres. Además, me frustra que todas las responsabilidades recaigan únicamente en los padres, ignorando que los hijos también pueden ser responsables de ciertas tareas según su edad.

La forma en que el libro maneja las solicitudes, tratándolas como órdenes, y la sugerencia de pedir ayuda a terceros en lugar de a la pareja, me pareció irrespetuosa y una mala práctica. También me molestó que el autor no propusiera una disculpa o un plan correctivo adecuado cuando las cosas no van bien, sino simplemente una redistribución de tareas. Estas dinámicas me parecen lejos de fomentar un entorno de respeto y cooperación en las relaciones.

This book could’ve been a meeting

Great concepts for partnered people trying to negotiate an equitable solution to the management of unpaid labor. Way too granular for a book, though. A ppt would have sufficed.

The accidental traditionalist married to a one step forward two steps back.

I do not have children yet and my husband and I are newly married. HOWEVER, adjusting to living with a woman for my husband and adjusting to living with a man for myself has been a very tough transition in our lives. I like things tidy and put together while my husband could care less how the house looks. As a result, I’ve been handling all the household responsibilities including cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, scheduling appointments, paying bills, and yard work. My anxiety and depression were taking over and I was so fed up with having the same argument with my husband about how I’m exhausted and I need help.

Then I found this book. I love Reese’s book club but usually opt for only fiction reads and steer clear of “self-help” books. This book was so different. I found myself saying “yes” and “omg I’m not the only one”! This book offered so many perspectives on how women run the household and how their husbands contribute monetarily but do not always contribute to home life/kids either consciously or subconsciously. The beginning can be pretty negative and make you feel a lot of anger towards your current lifestyle but I do not believe this book victimizes women but rather empowers women to realize you are capable of doing it all but you don’t have to. Finding balance and individualizing ourselves can help the entire household and this book really gives great tools to try to do so. I recommend giving it a listen and being open to change.

Good principles, snarky and demeaning presentation

This book presents some very valid points and is a great wake up call to moms and dads. However, the presentation comes off very snarky and demeaning toward men and makes the implied assumption that all men are useless and similar to her husband. I’m not quite sure who the audience is here, because she acts as if she is talking to moms like: “ya, go figure, your husband is stupid” while targeting the entire message around how and why dads can help redistribute the workload on moms at home. She often uses the terms “we” and “us” to refer to women, and “them” for men. Again, very valid points presented and things that we’ve started applying in our home, which we’ve appreciated. We just didn’t really enjoy the tone or the presentation itself. Marriage is about partnership and love and equality, and while this FairPlay system claims to have this as the common goal, it may have the unintended side effect of driving a wedge between men and women in the way it riles up one side while simultaneously demeaning the other.

Empowering and entertaining!

If you are in a relationship where there is an unequal balance of power, listen to this! Yves “system” helps couples fairly delegate the business of running in the household.... With a card game. Solid and smart! I sent a copy to all of my favorite female humans!

Very helpful

Thank you to the author for this amazing breakdown. This has helped me better communicate and figure out what we needed to strengthen our relationship. Will be trying the cards soon too.