Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
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Narrated by:
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Kelly Oxford
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By:
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Kelly Oxford
About this listen
Kelly Oxford is....
- A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for 6-year-olds
- Not the queen of the world
- An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
- The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
- A born salesman
- Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
- That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
- Totally an expert on strep throat
- Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
- A writer
- A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
- “Not fat enough to be super snuggly.” (Bea, age 4)
- Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
- “Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that.” (Roger Ebert)
- Sad that David Copperfield doesn’t own a falcon
- A terrible liar
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Please Ignore Vera Dietz
- By: A. S. King
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 107
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Vera’s spent her whole life secretly in love with her best friend, Charlie Kahn. And over the years she’s kept a lot of his secrets. Even after he betrayed her. Even after he ruined everything. So when Charlie dies in dark circumstances, Vera knows a lot more than anyone - the kids at school, his family, even the police. But will she emerge to clear his name? Does she even want to? Edgy and gripping, Please Ignore Vera Dietz is an unforgettable novel: Smart, funny, dramatic, and always surprising.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Moving, disturbing, and humorous
- By Julie on 08-26-11
By: A. S. King
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Why Can't I Be You
- By: Allie Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 274
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 255
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Story4 out of 5 stars 255
When Jenny Shaw hears someone shout "Jessie!" across a hotel lobby, she impulsively answers. All her life, Jenny has toed the line, but something propels her to seize the opportunity to become Jessie Morgan, a woman to whom she bears an uncanny resemblance. Lonely in her own life, Jenny is embraced by Jessie’s warm circle of friends - and finds unexpected romance. But when she delves into Jessie’s past, Jenny discovers a secret that spurs her to take another leap into the unknown.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Silly
- By Hilary on 05-20-15
By: Allie Larkin
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 69
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 61
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Story4 out of 5 stars 63
By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,191
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,051
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,051
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 222
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 196
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 193
Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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The Wangs vs. the World
- By: Jade Chang
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 456
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 421
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 419
Charles Wang is mad at America. A brash, lovable immigrant businessman who built a cosmetics empire and made a fortune, he's just been ruined by the financial crisis. Now all Charles wants is to get his kids safely stowed away so that he can go to China and attempt to reclaim his family's ancestral lands - and his pride. Outrageously funny and full of charm, The Wangs vs. the World is an entirely fresh look at what it means to belong in America - and how going from glorious riches to (still name-brand) rags brings one family together in a way money never could.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Spectacular
- By Barbara on 10-11-16
By: Jade Chang
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God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 132
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 124
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Story4 out of 5 stars 123
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
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How to Be a Grown-Up
- By: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 123
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 105
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Story4 out of 5 stars 105
Rory McGovern is entering the prime of her life when her husband loses his dream job and announces he feels like "taking a break". Rory was already spread thin and now, without warning, she is single-parenting two kids, juggling their science projects, flu season, and pajama days, while coming to terms with her disintegrating marriage. Without Blake, her only hope is to accept a full-time position working for two full-time 20-somethings.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Performance
- By Jill on 02-10-16
By: Emma McLaughlin, and others
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Darling Days
- A Memoir
- By: iO Tillett Wright
- Narrated by: iO Tillett Wright
- Length: 10 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 409
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 377
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Story5 out of 5 stars 373
Born into the beautiful bedlam of downtown New York in the eighties, iO Tillett Wright came of age at the intersection of punk, poverty, heroin, and art. This was a world of self-invented characters, glamorous superstars, and strung-out sufferers, ground zero of drag and performance art. Still, no personality was more vibrant and formidable than iO's mother's. Rhonna, a showgirl and young widow, was a mercurial, erratic glamazon. She was iO's fiercest defender and only authority in a world with few boundaries and even fewer indicators of normal life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Can’t wait for more from this Author!
- By Team Hobson on 07-24-19
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Kissing Games of the World
- By: Sandi Kahn Shelton
- Narrated by: Myra Platt
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 144
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 114
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Story4 out of 5 stars 115
What if the one person you can't bear to be with is also the one person you can't bear to be without? Jamie McClintock is a free-spirited artist and single mother who has at last found peace and freedom sharing a farmhouse with an elderly man and his young grandson. But when the old man dies suddenly her idyllic country life comes to a halt as the old man's estranged son, Nate, returns to claim the house and his child.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Writer, Great Narrator ! Loved it!
- By Ms. Critic on 05-30-09
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 31
For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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Cracked
- By: K. M. Walton
- Narrated by: Nicholas Tecosky, Andrew Wilson
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 29
Victor hates his life. He has no friends, gets beaten up at school, and his parents are always criticizing him. Tired of feeling miserable, Victor takes a bottle of his mother’s sleeping pills - only to wake up in the hospital. Bull is angry, and takes all of his rage out on Victor. That makes him feel better, at least a little. But it doesn’t stop Bull’s grandfather from getting drunk and hitting him. So Bull tries to defend himself with a loaded gun. When Victor and Bull end up as roommates in the same psych ward, there’s no way to escape each other or their problems. Which means things are going to get worse - much worse - before they get better.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Very interesting
- By Mitra Grondin on 06-07-15
By: K. M. Walton
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 463
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 404
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 402
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 24
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 23
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 23
What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
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If I am Missing or Dead
- A Sister's Story of Love, Murder, and Liberation
- By: Janine Latus
- Narrated by: Shelly Frasier
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 210
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4 out of 5 stars 105
In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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4 out of 5 stars
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
What listeners say about Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Nicole
- 06-26-15
I love you, Kelly Oxford!
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes! She's relateable and hilarious.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar?
Her beginnings as a teenage model. "You weren't ready for that, were you judges?"
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