Drop Dead Gorgeous

By: Donald Allen Kirch

Narrated by: Kathryn LaPlante

The man couldn't help himself. His captor was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her powerful eyes held his attention and made him forget that she had him confined in a basement, his hands and feet bound with duct tape. She fed him when he was hungry and kept him alive for the telling of her horrific tale.

After getting past the terror and discomfort, he reasoned that there was nothing to worry about for the moment. He had loved ones who would call the police. All he had to do was wait. Letting this woman tell him her story was as good a stall as any.

The mysterious woman wove a tale of betrayed love and unwanted, unnatural experiments placed upon her. In her claims, she stated that she had once been a man! The prisoner couldn't believe that he was listening to such ridiculous madness. A descent into insanity, fueled by a jealous rage, ended with using scientific tools for torture and seeking the ultimate revenge. Her name was "Eve Doe", and her crazed wife genetically created her like a Frankenstein's monster.

With every blink of her lovely eyes, licking of her full lips, and heaving of her perfect breasts, the captor told a story most bizarre of a woman bent on teaching her cheating husband a lesson.

Was she mad? Was she a seductive monster? Or, was she...both?

©2016 Donald Allen Kirch (P)2016 Donald Allen Kirch

I LOVED this book!

First let me say that very few people, including authors, can surprise me.  Donald Allen Kirch not only surprised me but totally blew my mind!  I was expecting an entirely different genre of book based solely on the title.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered through listening alone that it was straight up, spine-tingling, eye crossing, mouth drooling horror!

Eve is a drop dead gorgeous woman with an engrossing story to tell.  Of course, it helps that she has the ability to seduce a man with a single glance turning him into a blithering horn-dog.

Annabel, Steve’s wife, discovered that Steve committed adultery.  Now Annabel has become a vengeful, evil woman with the skill and drive to do dole out the most heinous, gruesome and shocking punishment on her cheating husband and his girlfriend ever imagined!

I LOVED this book!  Kirch took the characters to places they did NOT want to go but did it in a skillful and fascinating manner.  Each character introduced was thoroughly developed through rich and vivid details and dialog.  Everything appeared authentic – dialog, medical and police terms, emotions, thoughts, actions – everything!  There was not a slow moment in the book, it was definitely an edge of your seat, nail-biting horror from beginning to end.

I wonder, will Eve just disappear off into the night or … guess only Kirch can answer that!  A definite five-star for the intense horror, gore, and sick twisted realism.

The cover is amazing and very accurate!

Kathryn LaPlante did an amazing job of narrating the story, bringing it to life with her talented voice and enthusiasm.  How she kept a straight face in some places while not cringing in others was amazing!  Her tones were spot on.  LaPlante added more dimension to each of the characters otherwise missed if just reading the story.

There were no issues with the production or quality of this audiobook.

Audiobook was provided for review by the author.

Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog.

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Unlike anything I've ever read

"Drop Dead Gorgeous" (2016) by Donald Allen Kirch is a very unique horror/sci-fi novel that tells three tales: Ghastly experiments a mad scientist conducts on her cheating husband, a man kidnapped by the “husband” years after the experiments are completed, and a police officer’s search for the missing man. The novel is loaded with sex and violence but probably considered par for those who read horror lit. The narration by Kathryn LaPlante is exceptional. No literary flair but the story held my attention. The 1950’s style comic book cover is a nice touch. Strongly recommended. Book given free for honest review.

Definitely different

Any additional comments?

This is one strange story. Lots of sex, betrayal, and brainy women with issues. If you've ever seen The Skin I Live In, this is similar, but more twisted. My only complaint is the breathing by Laplante, she takes a loud breath nearly every 2 sentences. Otherwise she does a great job with the voices. This is more horror and as such is very graphic.

“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned

If you’ve listened to books by Donald Allen Kirch before, how does this one compare?

This was my first book by DAK, and what a hell of a way to start off. This book was awesome in a twisted kind of way, I'm definitely looking forward in seeing where the story goes from here.

What didn’t you like about Kathryn LaPlante’s performance?

Excellent performance.

Any additional comments?

This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of Audiobook Boom.

Sexual Healing and some Ch-ch-changes

Ok, so normally if I woke up duct taped to a chair with a sultry woman before me it would be a Friday. In the other Ray's case (I'm Ray, too) this doesn't hold the same amount of potential for fun. In fact, poor ole Ray has no idea what he is in for, and it is a lot.

Turns out the sexy babe is named Eve, and she has a little 'speramentin' to do on Ray. Turns out he's a great test subject for the experiments, and as she does her thing to him, she tells him her tale of woe, and how she came to be the woman he sees before her. A tale of a lover cheating and the revenge that is exacted upon his cheatin' butt! Stockholm sydrome kicks in and Ray starts to fall for Eve. The rest is up to you to find out.

I have to say, as medical thrillers go, this is a great one. I just finished one called Still, and it was top shelf, and now this one? Man, I am on a roll with lucky finds. I will be honest and say that there are some disturbing things that go on in this book, and there are some sexual events, so if you can't take sex, or have a weak stomach stay away. No, better yet, read this and toughen yourself up. No need to be a pansy or a prude all your life. The book really knows how to draw tension, and it does the smart thing by making the villain malicious, and Ray unsympathetic. You don't have to root for someone to enjoy a great story. Sometimes, watching people get what they deserve can be rewarding, and sometimes you just have to look at the accident on the side of the road. This is like that. It is so creepy that you will not be able to stop, and so disturbing once you learn the truth that you will read just to see what happens. The writing style is such that it demands your attention, and does not let you go. Each scene draws you one step deeper until you realize that you are so far in there is no turning back. Sincerely, each scene builds upon the other, and drives home the story faster and faster.

Kathryn LaPlante is the narrator, and she really embodies Eve. She plays a great Ray as well. She plays sultry and seductive as easily as spreading soft butter on bread, and psycho crazy so well that you would think she had taken lessons from Perkins and Hopkins.

Overall, I think this book really sets out to do what Kirch wanted to do. He makes a rather strong points on issues such as fidelity, medical ethics, sense of identity, and medical mutilation. I really enjoyed this book, even though it made me think about some odd topics, and consider things that I never had before. It really is a play on responsibility. We have a responsibility to others whether it is as a partner or doctor, and there are terrible consequences for those who fail to meet their obligations.

I have to comment on the book cover. I absolutely adore the homage to those 1960's and 70's EC horror comics. That pulpy look just fits, and reveals just what kind of story you are about to get. The choice could not have been better. Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.

This is an excellent novel. One that is disturbing, emotional, and gets under your skin so swiftly that you wish Eve had just pulled a Lorena Bobbit on Ray. If you like medical dramas, stories about kidnapping, strange experiments, or even crazy people doling out justice look no further. If you enjoy well written, perfectly paced, character driven stories you have found the perfect book. Read it now if you dare!


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If Tales from the Crypt was X-rated

If you like pulp horror, revenge, and some body-modification horror, this is for you.

Drop Dead Gorgeous takes a fairly classic horror plot and spices it up into not your average horror story. I enjoyed it as a change of pace from most of the audio horror novellas.

One issue I had was the length. I didn’t feel particular affection for any of the characters so I found the third quarter was a bit of a slog. If I cared about a character I wouldn’t have minded the extra length.

That said I’d like to hear another from Donald Allen Kirch, I like his style.

** This audiobook was given by the author at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review via Audiobook Boom

Sick and Seductive

This book is like an uncensored episode of Tales From The Crypt, full of sex and blood and cruel irony. It's funny and visceral, and performed well by the narrator. Kirch has a twisted mind to write such a messed up story. I enjoyed it very much.

NANOS

This book had definitely different concept of what you think about nanos and how they changed the characters. This book is a horror with crazy scientist who experiments as way of revenge. It was twisted with several characters and very erotic. Do recommend if you enjoy a different type of horror. Narration was quite good. I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author. THANK YOU!

What...what?!?

This story was gripping and twisted. I found myself excited to get in the car to drive to work every day, just so I would know what happened next. The ending left me wanting more, and I highly anticipate the next book in this fascinating, edgy story arc.

A serioulsy twisted tale of love and revenge

A twisted tale of love and revenge. There is no shortage of sexy times here and honestly, I felt a bit creepy about it more than once.

Donald Allen Kirch should seek therapy. Come to think of it, I may need it too after this one.
I should also give a shout out to the narrator of DDG, Kathryn LaPlante, because she did a fantastic job at narrating what must have been a very interesting project for her.

Well done all around. 4 Stars

*Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I won a copy of this audiobook over at Horror After Dark (http://www.horrorafterdark.com/) Thanks, DAK and HAD!