Don't Shoot Me in the Ass, and Other Stories

By: Michael Stephen Fuchs

Narrated by: Tanner Smith, Dawn Hartwell

By turns heart-stopping, hilarious, and profound, here are 10 rollicking tales of action and technology—from the author of the best-selling Arisen series.

• When the shit comes down in a California civil unrest, one man is tooled up and ready to rock—but soon finds himself driving his motorcycle into a flaming roadblock with a mysterious federal agent chick on the back firing an assault rifle over his shoulder....
• Nice-guy hitman Johnny Chen knows that when things don't go well, they go very poorly—and the only way out of the gunfight on this rooftop is straight over the edge and into the lion's den....
• A corporate takeover in the topsy-turvy world of the dot-com boom leads a burnt-out sysadmin to start confusing the Nerf missile launchers with more dangerous toys....
• An elite (plus hot) Silicon Valley cryptographer finds her job on a collision course with government black-ops—and all hell breaking loose with Chinese and Israelis in a balls-out firefight in her company's server room....

These stories ripple with two-fisted gunplay, white-knuckle computer hacking, and the absurdity of high-tech existence. But beneath the surface, powerful themes underpin the action: the effects of science and technology on our understanding of philosophy and religion (and sex); the quiet capitulation of isolated young men and women who are very handy with computers, guns, or both; and the meaning of our commitments to other people, especially when things begin to fall apart.

©2011 Michael Stephen Fuchs (P)2023 Michael Stephen Fuchs

Don't Remove from My Device

This was great, fun and fast-paced. Both narrators did a really good job changing up voices and carrying the scenes. I know that short stories are meant to be savored, but I couldn't help listening to the collection straight through to the end. And then I listened to it again. Now it's going to be on my phone permanently as a go-to when I need something quick to entertain my brain. I guarantee that there will be some new literary nugget to experience with each play. Not only does the action move along fast, but there are so many thought-provoking rabbit holes that I often found myself rewinding to hear what I missed while ruminating.

Each story is a a concisely captured heady moment, with details and feelings tightly arranged in a neat little package. They're smart with rude and edgy humor, mostly featuring working professionals in post-9/11 California. Some are kind of ridiculous, like the Silicon Valley coders who play assassination games, but I loved them all. Each story can be read alone, but there is a connection through the pervasive theme of considering one's purpose, from family roles to being a patriot and on to the cosmic level. The range of situations and characters is pretty wide with a prepper helping a federal agent during civil unrest, a bisexual jerk of a talented coder, a big brother protecting his sister in the Guatemalan Cloud Forest, an assassin considering his goals, passengers on a high-jacked plane, a jaded DEA undercover agent and lots more, all thinking on their life choices, some pondering existence in a metaphysical way and all coming to conclusions about life.

Fuchs' Arisen series is my absolute favorite, but I was warned these earlier stories would be nothing like the novels featuring special operators saving humanity from zombies. Although this is true, and the stories are in completely different settings, they do include that intelligent humor and decisive action that Arisen fans may appreciate. My favorite piece is Three and a Half Billion Year Old Men because it's got camaraderie among smart, talented friends, a flirty bit of romance and lots of colorful swearing, including some future Fickisms about male genitalia.

Overall Enjoyable

The narrators did a good job. the stories were different, and enjoyable. I liked that each had varied subject matter.
Thanks Michael!

So Varied, and Each Are Unique!

I used to read short stories when I was younger, and got out of the habit. Now that I am in my middle years (don't judge), I like having a brief handling of a topic so that my husband and I don't have to rewind to figure out where we were at last listen! This also allows for listening during errands and other short timespans, such as the last 15-20 minutes before lights out.
About this book:
1) What I love about this audiobook of short stories is that each story is a complete idea which really makes you ponder the subject matter (in a way that is all too much MICHAEL STEPHEN FUCHS, author of the famed Arisen series). :D
2) I also love that there are two narrators, one male and one female--and neither one of them is R. C. Bray. (I love R. C. Bray's voice, but I have a husband that is addicted, and I have heard him altogether too often in every genre imaginable.)
3) Another thing I love about this audiobook is that it is organized in a way where you start with interesting stories, then quickly move to run and gun stories, and then proceed to heart-pounding WTF Is Happening?!? stories.
I highly recommend that you take a listen to this excellent compilation!

Mixed bag. Some good, some bad.

I bought this for a few reasons. The two primary reasons were the length (good fit for a planned road trip) and genre (action/adventure works well for road trips). I really didn’t research the author until later. When I did look up the author, I felt that he should also have been a good fit as I am a fan of post-apocalyptic and/or military fiction and his books seem to be well reviewed.

I found the entire collection to be a mixed bag. A number of the stories felt like “bro-fantasy fiction” in which the protagonist is using insanely impractical weapons (i.e. think “video game famous weapons") and acting in cartoonish, stereotypical or even memish ways (“So anyway I started blasting!). Not to mention frequently the protagonist was not a particularly sympathetic character. Some stories also felt like they were not fully formed, but rather unfinished or maybe just a chapter from a potential book. However others were good and I would say more mature and well written with a good story, good characters and a satisfying conclusion. The disparity in quality was so much at times that I wondered if they were written by the same author. I wonder if maybe this is a collection of stories written over a period of time. Some very early and raw (bad) and newer ones that are more polished (good).

If you can get through the stinkers (and some early ones just make you laugh and roll your eyes) you can find some jewels. I would say the narration was overall very good.