Dirty Limericks Your Mother Warned You About
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Dirty Limericks Your Mother Warned You About
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Narrated by:
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Randal Schaffer
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By:
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Marcus Albey
About this listen
You might want to keep this away from your mother, your kids, your dog, your Aunt Edna.... Listen to this at your own will. Laugh at your leisure. Piss yourself when you can. These aren't for the faint of heart or the easily offended, so, if you can laugh at some good, old-fashioned, adult humor, here you go.
©2015 Marcus Albey (P)2016 Marcus AlbeyListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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The Death of Cool
- From Teenage Rebellion to the Hangover of Adulthood
- By: Gavin McInnes
- Narrated by: Gavin McInnes
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,191
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,051
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,051
This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Hurricane Season
- By: Fernanda Melchor, Sophie Hughes - translator
- Narrated by: Inés del Castillo, Tim Pabon, Ana Osorio
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 179
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 154
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 157
The Witch is dead. And the discovery of her corpse - by a group of children playing near the irrigation canals - propels the whole village into an investigation of how and why this murder occurred. Rumors and suspicions spread. As the novel unfolds in a dazzling linguistic torrent, with each unreliable narrator lingering on new details, new acts of depravity or brutality, Melchor extracts some tiny shred of humanity from these characters that most would write off as utterly irredeemable, forming a lasting portrait of a damned Mexican village.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow
- By Anonymous User on 11-20-20
By: Fernanda Melchor, and others
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KooKooLand
- A Memoir
- By: Gloria Norris
- Narrated by: Gloria Norris
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 51
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
Gloria Norris grew up in the projects of Manchester, New Hampshire, with her parents; her sister, Virginia; and her cat, Sylvester. A snapshot might show a happy young family, but only a dummkopf would buy that. Nine-year-old Gloria is gutsy and wisecracking. Her father, Jimmy, all dazzle and danger, is often on the far side of the law and makes his own rules - which everyone else better follow. Gloria's mom, Shirley, tries not to rock the boat, Virginia unwisely defies Jimmy, and Gloria fashions herself into his sidekick - the son he never had.
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1 out of 5 stars
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this was so awful I could only listen to a little
- By Wyowoman on 09-14-18
By: Gloria Norris
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The Real Animal House
- By: Chris Miller
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 78
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4 out of 5 stars 50
Animal House, the film adaptation of stories Chris Miller published in National Lampoon about his experiences at a Dartmouth fraternity, is among the most beloved and successful comedies of all time. In fact, its portrayal of college party life is still imitated on campuses across the country: toga party, anyone? Now Chris Miller can finally answer the fans who all want to know one thing: was it really like that? The answer: yes, but much, much more out of control!
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book makes the movie look tame.
- By Arthur on 08-31-12
By: Chris Miller
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The Lesser Dead
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,230
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,966
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,960
New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live - and die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody - he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city's sidewalks.
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2 out of 5 stars
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NICE GUYS NEARLY ALWAYS FINISH LAST
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
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The Last Detail
- A Novel
- By: Darryl Ponicsan
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
Unlike other branches of the armed services, the Navy draws its police force from the ranks as temporary duty - Shore Patrol. In this funny, bawdy, moving audiobook set during the height of the Vietnam War, two career sailors in transit in Norfolk, Virginia - Billy "Bad-Ass" Buddusky and Mule Mulhall - are assigned to escort 18-year-old Larry Meadows from Norfolk to the brig in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where he is to serve an eight-year sentence for petty theft. It's good duty, until the two old salts realize the injustice of the sentence and are oddly affected by the naive innocence of their young prisoner.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Surprising ending
- By bella on 09-11-20
By: Darryl Ponicsan
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 108
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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Blood Oranges
- A Siobhan Quinn Novel
- By: Kathleen Tierney
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 97
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 100
My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
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Seduction and Snacks
- By: Tara Sivec
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 911
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 838
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Story4 out of 5 stars 831
Claire is a 20-something, single mom who grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life. When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim-to-none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.
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4 out of 5 stars
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3 1/2 stars
- By Vinity on 08-01-13
By: Tara Sivec
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Trumpet
- By: Jackie Kay
- Narrated by: Cathleen McCarron
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
The death of legendary jazz trumpeter Joss Moody exposes an extraordinary secret. Unbeknown to all but his wife Millie, Joss was a woman living as a man. The discovery is most devastating for their adopted son, Colman, whose bewildered fury brings the press to the doorstep and sends his grieving mother to the sanctuary of a remote Scottish village. Winner of the Guardian Fiction Prize, Trumpet by Jackie Kay is a starkly beautiful modern classic about the lengths to which people will go for love.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful and True
- By Colin on 05-24-17
By: Jackie Kay
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Hyena
- By: Jude Angelini
- Narrated by: Jude Angelini
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,599
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,417
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,410
Hyena is a collection of autobiographical stories by Jude Angelini, which takes the listener on his journey of heartbreak, depravity, and hilarity, deftly moving between his adult life and his childhood growing up in a factory town outside of Detroit. Each story is told with brutal honesty yet maintains a gallows humor that will leave you shaking your head in disbelief.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome book, would steal it
- By Dylan S on 09-20-17
By: Jude Angelini
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Cannery Row
- By: John Steinbeck
- Narrated by: Jerry Farden
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,452
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,972
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,955
Published in 1945, Cannery Row focuses on the acceptance of life as it is: both the exuberance of community and the loneliness of the individual. Drawing on his memories of the real inhabitants of Monterey, California, Steinbeck interweaves the stories of Doc, Henri, Mack and his boys, and the other characters in this world where only the fittest survive, to create a novel that is at once one of his most humorous and most poignant works.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Five stars with a Caveat
- By Bette on 04-23-12
By: John Steinbeck
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The Short Stories, Volume I
- By: Ernest Hemingway
- Narrated by: Stacy Keach
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 624
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Story4 out of 5 stars 411
This definitive audio collection, read by Stacy Keach, traces the development and maturation of Hemingway's distinct and revolutionary storytelling style - from the plain bald language of his first story to his mastery of seamless prose that contained a spare, eloquent pathos, as well as a sense of expansive solitude. These stories showcase the singular talent of a master, the most important American writer of the 20th century.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Papa wouldn't have like this recording.
- By Jerry`` on 03-16-04
By: Ernest Hemingway
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All My Friends are Going to be Strangers
- By: Larry McMurtry
- Narrated by: John Randolph Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 131
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 106
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Story4 out of 5 stars 103
Danny Deck - Emma's friend from Terms of Endearment - is a promising young writer losing touch with his talent and drifting from Texas to California because "that's where all the writers are." Set in the early 60s, this is a very funny (and raunchy) satire of life in Texas and California and a true and American portrait of an artist as a young man.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Favorite audio book ever
- By melanie christner on 06-01-16
By: Larry McMurtry
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Pearl in a Cage
- By: Joy Dettman
- Narrated by: Deidre Rubenstein
- Length: 20 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
On a balmy midsummer's evening in 1923, a young woman - foreign, dishevelled and heavily pregnant - is found unconscious just off the railway tracks in the tiny logging community of Woody Creek. The town midwife, Gertrude Foote, is roused from her bed when the woman is brought to her door. Try as she might, Gertrude is unable to save her, but the baby lives.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pearl in a Cage
- By Verita on 06-16-17
By: Joy Dettman