Diary of an Occult Resolution Assistant
And Training Witch Valentine Orphanet
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Diary of an Occult Resolution Assistant
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Narrated by:
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Michelle Henderson
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By:
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Chris Norgate
About this listen
Valentine Orphanet had an fairly ordinary life until one grey day, she saw that advert in a news agent's window: "Position of employment offered for a researcher/assistant in the field of occult resolution." It seemed more interesting than basic paperwork and filing, but no where did it say anything about exposure to witches, gnomes, fae, creatures of the night, or vampires that share our world with us without our knowledge. We think we sit firmly upon the apex of the Earth's hierarchy pyramid, but it came as some surprise to Valentine to find out we do not.
Valentine is not always up to speed with her employment routines, but she thought that a short spell in the hospital may offer her a chance to rest and possibly enjoy a bunch of grapes from Mr. Xanthic, her employer who was a demon in meetings and a demon in pretty much all things he did. When Mr Xanthic did pay a visit, he brought with him a bloodied knife and a list of instructions instead of fruit.
Children are being preyed upon in their hospital ward. Young girls have been going missing from small villages across the country. Cattle are being mutilated and left strung across pathways. Demonic rituals are in cupboards. Witches are abroad. And somewhere, an angelic librarian is baking very bad cakes. Someone needs to find out what's happening and, if possible, bring everything to a satisfactory conclusion. All in a weeks work for Valentine Orphanet - all 13 days of it.
©2017 ChrisNorgate (P)2018 Chris NorgateListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,683
This forest isn't charted on any map. Every car breaks down at its treeline. Mina's is no different. Left stranded, she is forced into the dark woodland only to find a woman shouting, urging Mina to run to a concrete bunker. As the door slams behind her, the building is besieged by screams. Mina finds herself in a room with a wall of glass, and an electric light that activates at nightfall, when the watchers come above ground. These creatures emerge to observe their captive humans and terrible things happen to anyone who doesn't reach the bunker in time.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Surprising and original
- By Leia Schoeck on 10-08-22
By: A.M. Shine
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 886
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 691
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Story4 out of 5 stars 691
The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
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Sixty-One Nails
- The Courts of the Feyre, Book 1
- By: Mike Shevdon
- Narrated by: Nigel Carrington
- Length: 16 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 186
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 167
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Story4 out of 5 stars 169
There is a secret war growing beneath the streets of London. The immense Sixty-One Nails follows Niall Petersen, from a suspected heart attack on the London Underground, into the hidden world of the Feyre, an uncanny place of legend that lurks just beyond the surface of everyday life. The ancient peoples are at war - but is Niall really the one who can wield the dark magic of the Untainted, and save them all?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Urban Fantasy with a Gothic Flavor
- By Tango on 03-16-14
By: Mike Shevdon
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The Book of Magic
- By: Gardner Dozois - editor, Scott Lynch, Elizabeth Bear, and others
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker, Sile Bermingham, Maxwell Caulfield, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Story4 out of 5 stars 160
Hot on the heels of Gardner Dozois's acclaimed anthology The Book of Swords comes this companion volume devoted to magic. How could it be otherwise? For every Frodo, there is a Gandalf... and a Saruman. For every Dorothy, a Glinda... and a Wicked Witch of the West. What would Harry Potter be without Albus Dumbledore... and Severus Snape? Figures of wisdom and power, possessing arcane, often forbidden knowledge, wizards and sorcerers are shaped - or misshaped - by the potent magic they seek to wield.
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4 out of 5 stars
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some stinkers mostly good
- By M.T. on 12-11-18
By: Gardner Dozois - editor, and others
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Tesser: A Dragon Among Us
- A Reemergence Novel, Book 1
- By: Chris Philbrook
- Narrated by: James Foster
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,064
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,815
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,814
Tesser, the dragon of life itself, is one of seven: Earth’s primordial draconic guardians, destined to oversee its development and safety. Species rose and fell, and 10,000 years ago...Tesser disappeared. The golden dragon woke up this morning, buried deep beneath the city of Boston, with no idea how he got there, and no idea how humanity grew so fast and learned so much while he was away. He is lost, a fish out of water. Where is the magic? He’s got a lot of catching up to do if he’s going to find his missing sister and stop an incursion of daemons from beyond the Veil.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I dont think the author has ever actually communicated with another human being.
- By Konrad on 04-11-16
By: Chris Philbrook
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Darling Jim
- A Novel
- By: Christian Moerk
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye, Justine Eyre
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 326
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 190
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Story4 out of 5 stars 190
When two sisters and their aunt are found dead in their suburban Dublin home, it seems that the secret behind their untimely demise will never be known. But then Niall, a young mailman, finds a mysterious diary in the post office's dead-letter bin. From beyond the grave, Fiona Walsh shares the most tragic love story he's ever heard---and her tale has only just begun.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great Story
- By Book Worm on 05-28-09
By: Christian Moerk
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The Oversight
- By: Charlie Fletcher
- Narrated by: Simon Prebble
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 239
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 238
Once there were hundreds of members of the Oversight, the brave souls who guard the borders between the mundane and the magic. Now there are only five. When a vagabond brings a screaming girl to the Oversight's London headquarters, she could answer their hopes for new recruit, or she could be the instrument of their downfall.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic start to a fantasy series
- By jessica on 06-01-14
By: Charlie Fletcher
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Haunted Nights
- A Horror Writers Association Anthology
- By: Ellen Datlow - editor, Garth Nix, Kelley Armstrong, and others
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Erin Spencer, James Patrick Cronin, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 241
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 216
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Story4 out of 5 stars 214
Here are 16 chilling, never-before-published tales that explore every aspect of our darkest holiday, Halloween, coedited by Ellen Datlow, one of the most successful and respected genre editors, and Lisa Morton, a leading authority on Halloween. Included are stories about scheming jack-o'-lanterns, vengeful ghosts, otherworldly changelings, disturbingly realistic haunted attractions, masks that cover terrifying faces, murderous urban legends, parties gone bad, cult Halloween movies, and trick-or-treating in the future.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Slow burn stories
- By Alex Sumner on 03-05-22
By: Ellen Datlow - editor, and others
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Afterlife
- Afterlife Saga, Book 1
- By: Stephanie Hudson
- Narrated by: Rebecca Rainsford
- Length: 26 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 852
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 771
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Story4 out of 5 stars 768
Afterlife...just some gothic nightclub where gossip is fuelled by the presence of a rich and unearthly, handsome family or afterlife...the strange place where time seems to stand still and guests feel the presence of something more powerful held within the confines of the VIP. Keira is new to this small, cold town and is running from a past that seems to feast on her darkest memories. She finds living with her sister away from English soil to be just the ticket to the new life she is trying desperately to find.
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2 out of 5 stars
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It is a good book yet it is NOT in many ways
- By Lexi on 11-29-16
By: Stephanie Hudson
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The Silence
- By: Tim Lebbon
- Narrated by: Marisa Calin, Ralph Lister
- Length: 11 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,896
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,740
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,739
In the darkness of a vast cave system, cut off from the world for millennia, blind creatures hunt by sound. Then there is light, there are voices, and they feed. Swarming from their prison, they multiply and thrive. To scream, even to whisper, is to summon death. Deaf for many years, Ally knows how to live in silence. Now, it is her family's only chance of survival. They must leave their home, shun others, and find a remote haven where they can sit out the plague. But will it ever end? And what kind of world will be left?
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1 out of 5 stars
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I really am starting to question other reviewers
- By leelee8888 on 09-11-20
By: Tim Lebbon
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Black Blade Blues
- By: J.A. Pitts
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 395
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 363
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 363
Sarah Beauhall has more on her plate than most 20-somethings: day job as a blacksmith, night job as a props manager for low-budget movies, and her free time is spent fighting in a medieval re-enactment group. The lead actor breaks Sarah's favorite one-of-a-kind sword, and to avoid reshooting scenes, Sarah agrees to repair the blade. One of the extras, who claims to be a dwarf, offers to help. And that's when things start to get weird.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Heroine falls way short
- By realdog on 03-19-15
By: J.A. Pitts
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The Apocalypse Boxed Set Novels 1-3
- The Undead World Series
- By: Peter Meredith
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 42 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 452
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 413
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 412
Greed, terrorism, and simple bad luck conspire to bring mankind to its knees as a viral infection spreads out of control, reducing those infected to undead horrors that feed upon the rest. It's a time of misery and death for most, however there are some who are lucky, some who are ruthless, and some who are just too damned tough to go down without a fight. This is their story.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Worst writing and VO in HISTORY
- By kd on 11-25-20
By: Peter Meredith
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Frostbite
- An Ivy Granger Psychic Detective Prequel Short Story
- By: E.J. Stevens
- Narrated by: Melanie A. Mason
- Length: 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 97
When a client claims her house is being haunted, Ivy tries to keep her mind open and her weapons handy. If her psychic gifts and recent cases have taught her anything, it's that you're better off arming yourself for the unexpected.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A haunting release
- By MelHay on 06-21-18
By: E.J. Stevens
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Kingdom Keepers Inheritance: The Shimmer
- By: Ridley Pearson
- Narrated by: Alejandro Saab
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 18
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4 out of 5 stars 17
In the near future, in the Epcot of Walt Disney's imagination, sixty thousand people live in a CommuniTree surrounding the forward-looking Walt Disney World theme park. Five unique families are among the residents—and some of the parents were once known as the Kingdom Keepers. Their identities are carefully guarded in order to raise their children without special treatment, most of the Kingdom Keepers work for the Walt Disney Company, and have settled into "ordinary" and rewarding lives.
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3 out of 5 stars
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This is the Wrong Manuscript
- By Kali on 03-07-23
By: Ridley Pearson
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Some Kind of Fairy Tale
- A Novel
- By: Graham Joyce
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 610
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 545
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 544
Twenty years ago, 16-year-old Tara Martin disappeared from a small town in the heart of England. Now, her sudden return and the mind-bending tale of where she’s been will challenge our very perception of the truth. For 20 years after Tara Martin disappeared, her parents and her brother, Peter, lived in denial of the grim fact that she was gone for good. Then suddenly on Christmas Day, the doorbell rings at her parents’ home, and there, dishevelled and slightly peculiar looking, Tara stands. It’s a miracle, but alarm bells are ringing for Peter. Tara’s story just does not add up.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Extremely Well Done
- By Amanda on 07-11-12
By: Graham Joyce
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The Ninth Rain
- The Winnowing Flame Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Jen Williams
- Narrated by: Jot Davies
- Length: 20 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 207
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 181
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 181
Jen Williams, acclaimed author of The Copper Cat trilogy, featuring The Copper Promise, The Iron Ghost and The Silver Tide, returns with the first in a blistering new trilogy. The great city of Ebora once glittered with gold. Now its streets are stalked by wolves. Tormalin the Oathless has no taste for sitting around waiting to die while the realm of his storied ancestors falls to pieces - talk about a guilt trip. Better to be amongst the living, where there are taverns full of women and wine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn’t put it down!
- By Renae on 09-09-22
By: Jen Williams
What listeners say about Diary of an Occult Resolution Assistant
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 10-03-18
Interesting and original in a well trodden genre
Wow, I've got someway into the audio and have ordered the book already to read at work. It gives me goosebumps and made me jump, not one to listen to alone at night.
But it's not scarey all the way through but funny and unorthodox in they way it's all from one characters point of view.
I love the way angels had babies with mortals in the past and their children are now nurses and such because they want to help. I had a teacher at school who must have had demon in their ancestry and this book explains why!
The story is cool, Valentine isn't all knowing like a lot of main characters so trial and error seem to be how she acts. Very human in the way her thoughts and feelings come in as important as what is actually happening. I hope it all ends well for her.
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