Dear Bi Men

A Black Man's Perspective on Power, Consent, Breaking Down Binaries, and Combating Erasure

By: J.R. Yussuf, Da'Shaun L. Harrison

Narrated by: J.R. Yussuf

An unapologetic guide for listeners who are Black, masc, and bi—unlearning biphobia, coming out, combatting erasure, and embodying your whole self

Through cutting social analysis, personal stories, and need-to-know advice, Dear Bi Men reclaims bi+ visibility in a culture of erasure—and unapologetically centers Blackness in a practical and deeply researched guide to navigating life, work, and relationships as a Black bi+ man.

Popular representation of bi and pansexual men is growing, but we’re not there yet: It’s mostly white. It collapses bisexual identity into tired, hypersexualized tropes. And it fails to interrogate the deeply entrenched stereotypes that insist: You’re confused. You just don’t know you’re gay. You’re greedy. You must be great in bed.

Author, peer counselor, and creator of #bisexualmenspeak J.R. Yussuf pushes back against these stigmas and misconceptions, exploring how white supremacy reinforces biphobia and dictates what society thinks it means to “be a man.” He contextualizes discourse around queerness and bisexuality within a larger framework that honors listeners’ intersecting identities. And he offers deeply practical advice, sharing how to:

• Unlearn internalized biphobia and homophobia
• Navigate an increasingly hostile digital landscape
• Think about coming out: who to tell, why to tell them, and how to do it
• Fight back against erasure and stigma
• Navigate sex, dating, partnerships, marriage, friendship, and work
• Understand your bi+ sexuality through a political lens
• Process Black bi+ representation

Rich with personal narratives, insightful analysis, and practical advice, this book is a powerful resource for Black bi+ men to reclaim their identity, counter biphobia, and get empowered—and an offering to all listeners looking to fight back against the erasure and dehumanization wrought by patriarchy.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2024 J.R. Yussuf (P)2024 North Atlantic Books

Critic reviews

“Raw and unflinching, Dear Bi Men is a must read for those navigating their identity. J.R. Yussuf doesn’t shy away from sharing his personal journey of coming to terms with his bisexuality. Through his own experiences navigating religion, race, and gender expectations, Yussuf deconstructs society and the harm it causes to bisexual men and other marginalized people. More than this, Yussuf utilizes the wisdom he has learned through his journey, as well as his years of research and activism, to impart incredibly useful advice to those who are questioning or struggling with their bisexuality."—Vaneet Mehta, author of Bisexual Men Exist

“Bi activist and writer J.R. Yussuf brings a thorough, thoughtful analysis to bear on his unique and enlightened perspective, combining epistolary and journal formats as entry points for his personal dialog with the reader."—Ron Suresha, editor of Bi Men: Coming Out and Bisexual Perspectives on the Life and Work of Alfred C. Kinsey

“This is a searing and soaring contribution to the development of men who have long existed in the shadows of our time. Understanding the mental health and socio-emotional impacts of being bi+ is an encouraging step forward to becoming a fully integrated and powerful society that will accept, encourage, and protect the most vulnerable men from harm, persecution and exclusion."—Alex Holmes, author of Time to Talk: How Men Think About Love, Belonging and Connection

Oh My God, I’m Normal Afterall

This was a transformative read for anyone navigating the complexities of bisexuality, even for “beginners” like myself. As someone who has grappled with self-hatred due to my sexuality, this book provided a much-needed lifeline, validating my experiences and helping me learn to love all of me. What sets this book apart is the author’s inclusive approach, acknowledging that there isn’t one singular bisexual experience, but rather a spectrum of diverse narratives. I felt like I had permission to be a beginner who wanted to learn, which made me feel seen and accepted, unlike other resources that often assume a level of expertise I simply didn’t possess. The author’s commitment to addressing each topic from a beginner’s perspective was incredibly refreshing, fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance. I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who identifies as bi+ or wants to understand and support a loved one on their journey of self-discovery and self-love. I’m so grateful for Yussuf’s work. Also, his voice is very personal like a friend is speaking to you. It kept me interested and engaged. Great narrating work, too.

Essential bisexual education

This author does a stellar job of educating on so many important aspects of being bisexual in a very intelligent, relatable manner that brings you in because of his approachable but stern voice. I really enjoyed this book and recommend to all my bisexual male clients and their partners.

An amazing listen

As I Bi+ Black man this book was extremely affirming and everything I didn’t know I needed to feel seen.

This whole book is 🔥

This book really gave me life. As a recently out bi man, it meant the world to me