Dead People Suck
A Guide for Survivors of the Newly Departed
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Narrated by:
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Laurie Kilmartin
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By:
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Laurie Kilmartin
About this listen
This program is read by the author and includes material recorded in front of a live audience.
An honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud audiobook guide to coping with death and dying from the Emmy-nominated writer and New York Times best-selling coauthor of Sh*tty Mom, Laurie Kilmartin.
Death is not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the best way to cope is through humor. No one knows this better than comedian Laurie Kilmartin. She made headlines by live-tweeting her father's time in hospice and her grieving process after he passed and channeled her experience into a comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad. Dead People Suck is her hilarious guide to surviving (sometimes) death, dying, and grief without losing your mind. Whether you are old and about to die, sick and about to die, or with a loved one who is about to pass away or who has passed away, there's something for you. With chapters like "Are You an Old Man with Daughters? Please Shred Your Porn", "If Cancer Was an STD, It Would Be Cured by Now", and "Unsubscribing Your Dead Parent from Tea Party Emails", Laurie Kilmartin guides listeners through some of life's most complicated moments with equal parts heart and sarcasm.
©2018 Laurie Kilmartin (P)2018 Macmillan Audio; published by arrangement with Rodale Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
When high-school teacher Caelum Quirk and his wife, Maureen, move to Littleton, Colorado, they both get jobs at Columbine High School. In April 1999, while Caelum is away, Maureen finds herself in the library at Columbine, cowering in a cabinet and expecting to be killed. Miraculously, she survives. But when Caelum and Maureen flee to an illusion of safety on the Quirk family's Connecticut farm, they discover that the effects of chaos are not easily put right.
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excellent all around yarn
- By G. on 01-10-09
By: Wally Lamb
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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This Is Not Over
- A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby, Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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Chicken Soup for the Soul: Think Positive
- 101 Inspirational Stories about Counting Your Blessings and Having a Positive Attitude
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Amy Newmark, and others
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby, Jim Bond
- Length: 10 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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101 True Stories about how Positive Thinking can change your life! Everyone needs a little attitude adjustment once in a while, and these amazing true life stories reveal how real people used positive thinking to improve their lives and overcome challenges. You’ll read stories about how you can make every day a special day, incorporate gratitude and joy into your daily life, count your blessings and change your outlook, use a few well-chosen words to reorient your life, manage cancer and other health challenges through a positive attitude, simplify and have a more meaningful life and more!
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Good overall.
- By Sergey Makeev on 02-21-24
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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Messenger
- The Legacy of Mattie J. T. Stepanek and Heartsongs
- By: Jeni Stepanek
- Narrated by: Jeni Stepanek
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Oprah Winfrey has called him an inspiration, Maya Angelou saw him as a kindred spirit and fellow poet, and Jimmy Carter described Mattie Stepanek as the "most remarkable person I have ever known". When Jerry Lewis received his lifetime achievement award at the Oscars, footage of Mattie played behind him. Five years after his death from a rare neuromuscular disease, Mattie is still being celebrated for his indomitable spirit and message of hope.
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Loved Jeni telling Mattie’s story
- By Hello Mrs. on 12-29-22
By: Jeni Stepanek
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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Thank You for Your Service
- By: David Finkel
- Narrated by: Arthur Bishop
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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No journalist has reckoned with the psychology of war as intimately as David Finkel. In The Good Soldiers, his bestselling account from the front lines of Baghdad, Finkel shadowed the men of the 2-16 Infantry Battalion as they carried out the infamous surge, a grueling fifteen-month tour that changed all of them forever. Now Finkel has followed many of those same men as they’ve returned home and struggled to reintegrate - both into their family lives and into American society at large.
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Wrenching
- By Scott on 01-03-14
By: David Finkel
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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Rare Bird
- A Memoir of Loss and Love
- By: Anna Whiston-Donaldson
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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On an ordinary September day, 12-year-old Jack is swept away in a freak neighborhood flood. His parents and younger sister are left to wrestle with the awful questions: How could God let this happen? Can we ever be happy again? They each fall into the abyss of grief in different ways. And in the days and months to come, they each find their faltering way toward peace. In Rare Bird, Anna Whiston-Donaldson unfolds a mother's story of loss that leads, in time, to enduring hope.
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Warning! Tears
- By Madge on 08-16-15
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If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
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I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
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Until I Say Good-Bye
- My Year of Living with Joy
- By: Susan Spencer-Wendel, Bret Witter
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Susan Spencer-Wendel's Until I Say Good-Bye: My Year of Living with Joy is a moving and inspirational memoir by a woman who makes the most of her final days after discovering she has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). After Spencer-Wendel, a celebrated journalist at the Palm Beach Post, learns of her diagnosis of ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease, she embarks on several adventures, traveling to several countries and sharing special experiences with loved ones.
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Until I Say Good-Bye is a paradox for me.
- By Bonny on 03-19-13
By: Susan Spencer-Wendel, and others
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Chicken Soup for the Soul - Messages from Heaven
- 101 Miraculous Stories of Signs from Beyond, Amazing Connections, and Love That Doesn't Die
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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When our loved ones leave this world, our connection with them does not end and we often receive signs from the other side. These true and touching stories of will amaze and support all readers - religious or secular. The 101 true and miraculous stories in this book of signs and messages from beyond show that death may take away the physical presence of our loved ones, but not their spirit. This book is for everyone, religious or secular, as regular people share their amazing experiences with the other side.
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Tear Jerker
- By rdelacruz on 11-16-15
By: Jack Canfield, and others
What listeners say about Dead People Suck
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- patricia a ogno
- 10-10-18
funny!
this book hit home for me. I needed some laughs since my dad passed away recently.
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- J. Herrmann
- 04-03-18
Great book!
Great book, funny and sad and poignant and funny. Perfect for those with newly departed relatives, or relatives you wish were departed.
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- Jeanette H.
- 03-23-23
Wasn't my cup of tea
It was so-so. Nothing huge to recommend. A few funny moments here and there, but not really as explained in the synopsis.
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- Racheal
- 08-15-19
Exactly What I Needed
Laurie Kilmartin's experience is extremely different from mine. Much of her book deals with hospice, which is not a part of my story of loss. Even so, the raw truth expressed opened up a whole new batch of feels. Then the chapters about what happens after the loved one passes -- I can't express how real and close it felt. This book makes me want to contact Laurie and share my grief stories with her, but I won't do that because that would be weird. For reference, it's been just over two years since my loss. For the audio, I particularly loved the chapters that were recorded live, but all of it was amazing. Thank you, Laurie Kilmarten.
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- Lili
- 05-03-18
Both irreverent and heartfelt.
In spite of the title, I think this book is better suited for people who didn’t lose someone very recently. I think one needs a bit of time, distance, and perspective to appreciate the message and humor of this book. And it’s not revealed in the title, but this book is really for adults who have lost one or both parents. It’s not really about losing a child, spouse, or friend.
For people coping with the loss of a parent this book offers hard truths, insights, helpful hints, humor, and a feeling that none of us are in this alone. The vast majority of us will suffer the loss of our parents. The author lost her elderly dad when she was in her late 40s. A comedy writer by profession she brings her take to the situation and offers some moments of humor as she also shares her broken heart. In addition there are some insights into better preparing for our own inevitable mortality and thankfully she finds humor there as well.
An unusual format in that she intersperses her narration with audio from her stand up.
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- LilNanz
- 04-27-18
Dead DO Suck! But this book does not.
I’ve gone through losing my young friends and grandfather these past few years. Grief is not easy to articulate but this book helped make me laugh and not feel alone in my grief. Thank you, Laurie!!!
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- Katie
- 08-06-18
Amazing
This is the first book where I have saved multiple clips. I love how part of it is recorded from a live show. I truly wish I didn’t relate to this book but after loosing my mom unexpectedly this book just speaks to me
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- Kate 33
- 02-16-18
Wonderful, hysterical and brings back memories
I am a 65 year old orphan who ‘lost’ mom when I was 35 and dad when I was 43. Everyone has stories, but if you can keep your sense of humor while all the blocks are falling down around you, you have a much better survival/recovery rate. Seems twisted at times, but if you keep searching for the souvenir shop at the mortuary, you’ll find it! Maybe you had to be there...
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6 people found this helpful
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- Anthony Viola
- 01-27-22
Entertaining book
I was laughing hysterically at most parts. Some were just too wordy but accurate. Gives some in-depth thought to dying parents or loved ones. Highly recommend this audio book.
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- E. Anderson
- 03-01-18
Funny and sad and brilliant and funny again
I love the back and forth between live performance and narration. You will laugh out loud and if you are going through this when you read it then you will laugh through your tears.
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