Critical Failures
Caverns and Creatures, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jonathan Sleep
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By:
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Robert Bevan
About this listen
Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape.
One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.
Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.
Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.
It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
©2012 Robert Bevan (P)2014 Robert BevanListeners also enjoyed...
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Meet Threadbare. He is 12 inches tall, full of fluff, and really, really bad at being a hero. Magically animated and discarded by his maker as a failed experiment, he is saved by a little girl. But she's got problems of her own, and he might not be able to help her. Fortunately for the little golem, he's quick to find allies, learn skills, gain levels, and survive horrible predicaments. Which is good, because his creator has a whole lot of enemies …
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An amazing tale you can't help but love
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By: Andrew Seiple
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The Unleashing
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Kera Watson never expected to face death behind a Los Angeles coffee shop. Not after surviving two tours lugging an M16 around the Middle East. If it wasn't for her hot Viking customer showing up too late to help, nobody would even have seen her die. In uncountable years of service to the Allfather Odin, Ludvig "Vig" Rundstrom has never seen anyone kick ass with quite as much style as Kera.
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Before being conscripted to fight in the Total War, Private Hector Park had a shattered family, a collection of old video games, and a promising career as a motorcycle stuntman. Now, he is dying from a virus threatening humankind with extinction. He has three days to live. When Hector’s brother contacts him after years of hostile silence, Hector goes to try and make peace. But his brother offers him something even better: the chance to cheat death by joining him in Archemi, a full-immersion fantasy VR-RPG video game.
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fun narration & characters buuut...
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The Sleeping Dragon
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- Narrated by: Keith Silverstein
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It began as just another evening of fantasy gaming with James, Karl, Andrea, and the rest ready to assume their various roles as wizard, cleric, warrior, or thief. But sorcerous gamemaster Professor Deighton had something else planned for this unsuspecting group of college students. And the "game" soon became a matter of life and death as the seven adventurers found themselves transported to an alternate world and into the bodies of the actual characters they had been pretending to be....
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A Self Image Cast in Stone Could Shatter
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Death Becomes Her
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What you thought you knew about vampires and werewolves is wrong...so very, very, wrong. A thousand years of effort to keep the Unknown World hidden is unraveling and the Patriarch is tired. He needs to find someone to take over. He finds Bethany Anne.
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Vamp action at its' finest
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Off to Be the Wizard
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Hang in there
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Way of the Argosi
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Ferius Parfax has a simple plan: Kill every last inhabitant of the spell-gifted nation that destroyed her people, starting with the man who murdered her parents. Killing mages is a difficult and dangerous business, of course, but when she meets the inimitable and extraordinary Durrall Brown, she discovers that physical strength is not the only way to defeat evil of all kinds. So Ferius undertakes to study the ways of the Argosi: the loosely-knit tribe of tricksters known for getting the better of even the most powerful of spellcasters.
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Not what I expected
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Rot & Ruin
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Fifteen-year-old Benny Imura lives in a world infested with zombies where, when a kid turns 15, he must get a job to continue receiving food rations. Benny has no interest in the family business of zombie killing, but figures he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’s tried out a bunch of other jobs, and hasn’t found anything he likes. But as Benny starts training with his brother, he learns things about being human that he never expected.
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Just when you thought it was safe.....
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The Fate's Forsaken Omnibus
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Books 1, 2, and the prequel novella of the Fate's Forsaken series. The series follows the adventures of Kael: a young man who is thrust from his home in the Unforgivable Mountains and onto a hero's path. The journey is long, the battles are fierce - nearly all of his companions are outlaws. And Kael's rotten bad luck seems to make everything worse. This is his story.
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Fantasy with light romance
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Stolen Lives
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When Caleb reported for his normal shift, he never expected to go from the front seat of his ambulance to a bloody battlefield in a medieval Fey Realm. Kidnapped and beaten unconscious, he wakes up with a concussion and a fresh tattoo. While this might not be totally unusual for him, having the tattoo project the image of his stats and equipment like an old school tabletop RPG kind of is.
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First-Rate, First-Responder LitRPG
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Succubus Christmas Special
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In this irreverent take on the holidays, Ian gets a new quest in a virtual reality video game: kill a monstrous villain named Sinter Klaws. (And no, he is NOT a jolly old elf.) Join Ian, his succubus Alaria, and his imp Stig as they journey through a winter wonderland full of killer reindeer, lecherous elves, and the worst mall Santa in the history of the world.
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Say my name b**ch! A porny, Xmas, litRPG short
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Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You've never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.
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Warning Gushing Ahead……..
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What listeners say about Critical Failures
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- Sugarpucker
- 01-08-15
Very Entertaining
I thought this book was very entertaining. Shakespeare it was not, but there was a nice coherent story with good character development. This will obviously appeal to people who have played games like D&D. I mean it references character sheets, charisma, random encounters, and rolling a 1, so there you go. It is not a 'gritty' book. There is much joking and bumbling along with the action. It goes pretty much how you would expect it to go if a bunch of casual gamers had to actually become their characters. Some of the content was kinda stereotypical, but I still think it was handled in a funny way. I enjoyed it. If you like gaming and don't take yourself too seriously, I think you will enjoy it too.
The narrator was awesome. He did great with the different voices and characters and their expression.
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98 people found this helpful
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- Zachary
- 05-05-15
AMAZING!!! COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN!!!!!
Where does Critical Failures rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
The best book so far and the narrator bring the story to life!!!!!
What other book might you compare Critical Failures to and why?
none this is one of a kind and its amazing!!
Which character – as performed by Jonathan Sleep – was your favorite?
Cooper he makes me laugh
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
YES!!! AND I DID!!!!!!!
Any additional comments?
GET THIS BOOK!!!! hopefully they do books 2 and 3 with the same narrator
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15 people found this helpful
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- TnA
- 06-02-15
Really Funny if you are a Nerd who played RPGs
Where does Critical Failures rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Top 10
What was one of the most memorable moments of Critical Failures?
I was listening to the book while working on the bench in the lab and I had to laugh out loud. People thought I am crazy and I actually had to stop listening for a while to get myself under control. The characters are carbon copies of my old RPG group from 20 years ago. I would tell you why but I don't want to spoil the moment.
Have you listened to any of Jonathan Sleep’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Incredible range of voices that are never annoying
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14 people found this helpful
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- ANDREW
- 05-05-15
F-ing awesome and hilarious
I'm a big role player fan, and this brings the reality an fantasy together beautifully. I've wondered what would happen if you dropped real players into their characters and thus is an amazing answer. And a great beginning to a series. And the voice acting and narration makes it all more believable.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Sheldon
- 12-02-15
You should probably be a guy, or open minded.
I personally find this book (and the series) quite a bit of fun and well narrated for the most part. I can't help but think though that the whole series is slightly misogynistic (this comes out a lot more in the second book). It's not that it's just written with toilet humor, which admittedly is funny and well done but the only female characters are essentially props for objectification. It's not blatantly done, and it's not done as a pivotal plot point, and maybe it's just me... but I can't help feeling like it's there. So I guess my advice is if classic style comic books or 1950's sci-fi doesn't bother you (or you are generally not one to get bothered easily over things that may not actually be intended) this series is fun and full of juvenile humor that will actually make you laugh out loud. Otherwise, probably best to find something else.
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- Arne
- 05-09-18
The first book is decent, avoid the rest
I had some fun listening to this, and seeing references that any D&D fan can enjoy. However the author should have stopped after this first book. The second one in the series goes on with even more of the toilet humor and themes you have already had the pleasure of from this book, without the interesting aspect of character progression and self-reflection.
For fans of role-playing and fantasy, with a tolerance for lowbrow jokes mixed with a decent story, I can recommend this first book (which works fine as a stand-alone), but avoid the rest.
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- Craig J. Anderson
- 04-11-16
a delightful surprise.
I purchased this book as part of a sale because it sounded reasonably entertaining. it turns out that it is hilarious. just recognize that you have to enjoy following a bunch of slackers using slacker language and profanity in an adventure that defies rational thought. This is a comedy. It is fun.
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- Joshua
- 06-12-16
Super Nerd Fun
The narrator did an excellent job with the character voices which made it easier to visualize. the story seemed to go.vy quickly but perhaps it's because I was so enamoured with it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Wade
- 01-13-15
Fun and Fast and just might make you Laugh
Would you listen to Critical Failures again? Why?
I probably will. I read the novel a few years ago, and downloaded the audiobook when I discovered it was available.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Cooper, of course. He is kind of the linchpin that the story revolves around, and the humor as well. It took me a short bit to get used to his voice, as it reminded me of the voice of Fat Albert in the 1970s cartoon.
Any additional comments?
Looking forward to the next release in the series.
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- Cody
- 04-07-17
Funny as hell!
I'm a long time d&d fan and this shit had me crackinup the whole time. laughed my balls off!
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1 person found this helpful