Crap Kingdom
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Crap Kingdom
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Narrated by:
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D. C. Pierson
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By:
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D. C. Pierson
About this listen
The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth.
He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory.
His name is Tom Parking.
With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom’s fate is sealed: he’s been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.
There’s just one problem - the kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems, the second being that the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats’ noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.
So, basically, the kingdom sucks.
When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he’s making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he’s been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who’s always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back - at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.
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- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,163
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,956
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,954
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
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The Leaving
- By: Tara Altebrando
- Narrated by: Karissa Vacker
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4 out of 5 stars 90
Eleven years ago, six kindergartners went missing without a trace. After all that time, the people left behind moved on, or tried to, until today. Today five of those kids returned. But as details of the disappearance begin to unfold, no one is prepared for the truth. This unforgettable novel with its rich characters, high stakes, and plot twists will leave listeners breathless.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Plot Twist
- By Josh F. on 01-07-21
By: Tara Altebrando
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The Merchant of Death
- Pendragon, Book 1
- By: D. J. MacHale
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,555
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,291
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,292
Bobby Pendragon is a seemingly normal 14-year-old boy. He has a family, a home, and even Marley, his beloved dog. But there is something very special about Bobby: he is going to save the world.
And not just Earth as we know it. Bobby is slowly starting to realize that life in the cosmos isn't quite what he thought it was. And before he can object, he is swept off to an alternate dimension known as Denduron, a territory inhabited by strange beings, ruled by a magical tyrant, and plagued by dangerous revolution.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Merchant of Death (Unabridged
- By Bronwyn on 07-26-08
By: D. J. MacHale
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The Second Super
- First Superhero Series #1
- By: Logan Rutherford
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 286
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 269
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Story4 out of 5 stars 269
Kane Andrews is just another one of the billions of people on Earth who watch as Richter, the world's first superhuman, goes on a rampage. All the world's military cannot stop him, no matter what they throw his way. Until, with the whole world watching, Kane surprises himself by flying up to catch someone the supervillain has thrown off a building. With no idea of the extent or magnitude of his powers, Kane has a long way to go before becoming the first superhero.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Author need a physics lesson
- By Matthew on 06-25-16
By: Logan Rutherford
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Spellcaster
- By: Claudia Gray
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 150
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 131
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Story4 out of 5 stars 131
When Nadia's family moves to Captive's Sound, she instantly realizes there's more to the place than meets the eye. Descended from witches, Nadia can sense that a spell has been cast over the tiny Rhode Island town - a sickness infecting everyone and everything in it. The magic at work is darker and more powerful than anything she's come across and has sunk its claws most deeply into Mateo...her rescuer, her friend, and the guy she yearns to get closer to even as he pushes her away.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Compelling, fun and exciting!
- By M. Herbert on 07-15-13
By: Claudia Gray
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Every Soul a Star
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy, Ali Ahn, Mark Turetsky
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 262
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 212
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 215
Unlike the thousands converging at Moon Shadow to witness a total solar eclipse, Ally calls the isolated campground home. Bree shields herself in a cloak of good looks and popularity, but there is something within her no one suspects. And Jack, overweight and socially inept, finds himself on the verge of a startling possibility.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Yes I have listened to this book 3 times
- By Excelsior on 06-24-18
By: Wendy Mass
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 349
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 298
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 297
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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1 out of 5 stars
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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Turtles All the Way Down
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 11,023
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9,826
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9,807
Aza Holmes never intended to pursue the disappearance of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate. So together, they navigate the short distance and broad divides that separate them from Pickett’s son Davis. Aza is trying. She is trying to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, and maybe even a good detective, while also living within the ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I hate to call it a trigger warning, but-
- By Lynnzee on 10-23-17
By: John Green
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Full Tilt
- By: Neal Shusterman
- Narrated by: Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 658
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 605
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Story4 out of 5 stars 606
Sixteen-year-old Blake has always been the responsible one in his dysfunctional family. Quinn is his brother's opposite - a thrill-seeker who's always chasing the next scary rush. Quinn and Blake are in for the surprise of their lives when they're thrust into the world of a bizarre phantom carnival - and their souls are the price of admission. In order to save his brother, and himself, Blake must survive seven different carnival rides before dawn. Seven rides sounds easy. But each ride is full of unexpected dangers, because each ride is a reflection of one of Blake's deepest fears.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Trials and Rides
- By Jonas Lee on 01-07-19
By: Neal Shusterman
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Between the Lines
- By: Jodi Picoult, Samantha Van Leer
- Narrated by: Robert Ian MacKenzie, Suzy Jackson, Nick Cordero
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 420
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 379
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 383
A story of romance, adventure, and humor, Between the Lines features high-schooler and social outsider Delilah, who discovers a charming fairy tale in the school library and can’t resist turning to it again and again. But one day she finds the book has hidden depths—and that the story’s handsome prince has somehow stepped from the page into her very own world.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not YA, this is a children's story
- By Johnna Joy on 07-04-12
By: Jodi Picoult, and others
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Unfiction
- By: Gene Doucette
- Narrated by: Brad Wills
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 106
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
When Oliver Naughton joins the Tenth Avenue Writers Underground, headed by literary wunderkind Wilson Knight, Oliver figures he'll finally get some of his wild imaginings out of his head and onto paper. But when Wilson takes an intense interest in Oliver's writing and his genre stories of dragons, aliens, and spies, things get weird. Oliver's stories don't just need to be finished: they insist on it.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Perfectly Captured Tone and Well Matched Wit
- By Ian on 08-04-17
By: Gene Doucette
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Loving Day
- By: Mat Johnson
- Narrated by: J. D. Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 177
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 165
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 166
On his first night in his new home, Warren spies two figures in the grass outside; when he screws up the nerve to confront them, they disappear. The next day he encounters ghosts of a different kind: In the face of the teenage girl he meets at a comics convention, he sees the mingled features of his white father and his black mother, both now dead. The girl is his daughter, and she thinks she's white.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Teen lit with heavy erotic imagery
- By Itinerant T on 08-26-15
By: Mat Johnson
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A Girl Named Digit
- By: Annabel Monaghan
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
Farrah "Digit" Higgins may be going to MIT in the fall, but this L.A. high school genius has left her geek self behind in another school district so she can blend in with the popular crowd at Santa Monica High and actually enjoy her senior year. But when Farrah, the daughter of a UCLA math professor, unknowingly cracks a terrorist group's number sequence, her laid-back senior year gets a lot more interesting. Soon she is personally investigating the case, on the run from terrorists, and faking her own kidnapping - all while trying to convince a young, hot FBI agent to take her seriously.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nails It
- By Lifeisshort on 05-16-14
By: Annabel Monaghan
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Mirrored
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Caitlin Davies, James Fouhey, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
Celine's life is the stuff fairy tales are made of. She's beautiful, talented, and brave. Unfortunately, her tale comes complete with a wicked stepmother! When Violet steps into Celine's life, everything changes, and weird things begin to happen to her - bizarre accidents, strange illnesses, and rabid animal attacks. Celine doesn't feel safe anywhere. It's almost as if some hateful witch is out to get her.
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4 out of 5 stars
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It was pretty good, just not a book that I would listen to over and over again
- By Pablo Valdez on 04-27-17
By: Alex Flinn
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Double Digit
- By: Annabel Monaghan
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
To say eighteen-year-old Farrah Higgins—or Digit—is good at math is a laughable understatement. She’s been cracking codes since childhood, and is finally at home with “her people” at MIT in Cambridge. Her talents are so off the charts that her laptop is under surveillance by both the CIA and an ecoterrorist named Jonas Furnis. So when she thoughtlessly hacks into the Department of Defense’s database, she lands in serious hot water inside and outside the law.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Follow Up
- By Lifeisshort on 05-23-14
By: Annabel Monaghan
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The Silent History
- By: Eli Horowitz, Matthew Derby, Kevin Moffett
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, LJ Ganser
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 72
It begins as a statistical oddity: a spike in children born with acute speech delays. Physically normal in every way, these children never speak and do not respond to speech; they don't learn to read, don't learn to write. As the number of cases grows to an epidemic level, theories spread. Maybe it's related to a popular antidepressant; maybe it's environmental. Or maybe these children have special skills all their own.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Thought-Provoking Premise
- By Doug - Audible on 03-31-15
By: Eli Horowitz, and others
What listeners say about Crap Kingdom
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Robert J
- 01-07-15
Its not Crap
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
its funny, imaginative, and most of my friends are thespians so this is up their alley.
What did you like best about this story?
It was about an actor who was lazy in school and the parents threatened to take that privilege away from him very similar to my senior year.
Which scene was your favorite?
The scene where the village idiot was impersonating the father.
Any additional comments?
Read this book.
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