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Certified Headless
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Narrated by:
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Tucker McDougall
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By:
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Adam K Smith
About this listen
The delivery of human heads is no job for a teenager. At least not for one without a car.
Eighteen-year-old high school dropout Beaumont Benning has been working a dead-end job transporting cadaver heads by messenger bag for the last three years. As a human working for the local ghoul cartel, there isn't much in the way of promotion potential. So, when a dodgy-sounding job opportunity comes Beau's way, who is he to say no? Especially to people who might eat him for saying no.
Beau soon finds himself caught in an undead conspiracy involving espionage, murder, the US Department of Agriculture, and his high-school crush. With only the help of his bonded spirit-animal, Paddy, will Beau be able to outwit ghouls, vampires, and federal agents, all while battling his own intermittent icicle impotence, Paddy's fearsome stuffed animal addiction, and a murderous ex-best friend?
©2018 Adam K Smith (P)2019 Adam K SmithListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 183
After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
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2 out of 5 stars
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dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
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Discount Armageddon
- InCryptid, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,988
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,828
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,827
The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 399
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 397
Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,165
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,989
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,991
John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Suzanne on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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The Book of Levi
- The Demon Accords, Book 0.5
- By: John Conroe
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 601
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 530
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Story5 out of 5 stars 530
How do you raise a boy who can bend reality with his mind? How do you keep him levelheaded, sane, and good? Raising any child is a tremendous undertaking, let alone one blessed by the goddess herself. Levi Guildersleeve, retired soldier and successful collector of rare books, finds himself as the only male role model of the most powerful witch ever born.
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3 out of 5 stars
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This could have been amazing, went on too long.
- By Justin on 11-22-22
By: John Conroe
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Bonded by Blood
- A Sweetblood Novel
- By: Laurie London
- Narrated by: Antonia Laury
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 101
Deep within the forests of the Pacific Northwest, two vampire coalitions battle for supremacy—Guardian enforcers who safeguard humanity and Darkblood rogues who kill like their ancient ancestors.
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1 out of 5 stars
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So Freakin' Boring
- By Lucylu on 02-28-11
By: Laurie London
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Hellbent
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 2
- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 270
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 242
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 243
Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nice Second Installment
- By Tiffani on 09-02-11
By: Cherie Priest
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Bloodsick
- An Old World Tale
- By: Melissa F. Olson
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 206
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 185
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 185
All her life, Sashi’s mother warned her not to get involved with werewolf problems. But Sashi, a witch who uses magic to heal sick and injured bodies, has never made a habit of ignoring trauma. When she meets an abused shapeshifter that no one else seems willing to help, Sashi will risk everything - including a budding romance with a human, Will - to save a woman who can’t save herself.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Five Stars for Narrator Amy McFadden!
- By A Customer on 02-26-20
By: Melissa F. Olson
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Storm in a Teacup
- By: Emmie Mears
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 206
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 185
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Story4 out of 5 stars 185
Mediator Ayala Storme kills demons by night and handles PR by day. She avoids Mediator luncheons and a fellow Mediator who’s been trying to get in her pants for years. She does her job. She keeps her sword clean and her body count high. But when a rash of disappearances leads her to discover that Nashville’s hellkin are spawning a new race of monster on human hosts, Ayala will be the first line of defense against these day-walking killers. That is until one of them saves her life.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Paranormal Urban Fantasy without the explicit sex
- By Natalie C on 12-03-15
By: Emmie Mears
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Dying Bites
- Bloodhound Files, Book 1
- By: D. D. Barant
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 398
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 354
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Story4 out of 5 stars 352
Her job description is the "tracking and apprehension of mentally-fractured killers". What this really means in FBI profiler Jace Valchek's brave new world - one in which only one percent of the population is human - is that a woman's work is never done. And real is getting stranger every day. Jace has been ripped from her reality by David Cassius, the vampire head of the NSA. He knows that she's the best there is in the business, and David needs her help in solving a series of gruesome murders of vampires and werewolves.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a yawner!
- By K on 09-17-12
By: D. D. Barant
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Dead to Me
- Simon Canderous, Book 1
- By: Anton Strout
- Narrated by: David DeVries
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 150
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 128
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 125
A new urban fantasy featuring a man working on the right side of the law - with talents that come from left field. Psychometry - the power to touch an object and divine information about its history - has meant a life of petty crime for Simon Canderous, but now he's gone over to the good side. At New York's underfunded and (mostly) secret Department of Extraordinary Affairs, he's learning about red tape, office politics, and the basics of paranormal investigation. But it's not the paperwork that has him breathless.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Fun - worth the credit
- By BikeVON on 08-03-12
By: Anton Strout
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Geekomancy
- By: Michael R. Underwood
- Narrated by: Julia Farhat
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 208
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Performance3 out of 5 stars 197
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 194
Ree Reyes’s life was easier when all she had to worry about was scraping together tips from her gig as a barista and comic shop slave to pursue her ambitions as a screenwriter. When a scruffy-looking guy storms into the shop looking for a comic like his life depends on it, Ree writes it off as just another day in the land of the geeks. Until a gigantic “BOOM!” echoes from the alley a minute later, and Ree follows the rabbit hole down into her town’s magical flip-side.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great story destroyed by robotic performance
- By H. Laurence Lareau on 04-20-13
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 6,010
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5,361
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5,370
When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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5 out of 5 stars
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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Cash City
- By: Jonathan Fredrick
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,140
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,870
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,860
It is an obsession that has haunted Nick Malick for seven years - to avenge the murder of his young son. In his gut Malick knows who did it. But the psychopath is in prison for another crime, scheduled to be released in a year. All Malick has to do is wait...and survive.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great New Series
- By Lia on 08-21-17
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Carpe Demon
- By: Julie Kenner
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 82
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 82
Kate Connor is your average, everyday mom with two kids, a husband, and one very big secret...she used to be a Demon Hunter for a secret arm of the Vatican. Now retired, she's more interested in the domestic than the demonic. So when she catches sight of a demon in Walmart, she tells herself it's some other Hunter's problem. But when that demon attacks her in her kitchen, retirement is no longer an option.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I loved this book!!!
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-24
By: Julie Kenner