Candy Coated Madness
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Candy Coated Madness
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Narrated by:
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Andy Barker
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By:
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Jeff Strand
About this listen
Horror/comedy master Jeff Strand returns with a collection of 26 gleefully macabre tales!
A cheerful snack mascot who snaps under the pressure. The nightmarish effects of the most depressing holiday song of all time. A virtual-reality environment that allows you to enact your most depraved fantasies...sort of. Giant mutant cockroaches doing battle with zombies in the Old West. An unnerving discovery in the Book of Revelations. The true secret of silent comedian Buster Keaton's success. Plus a Halloween curse, a lot of psychopaths, and much more!
Often hilarious, frequently gruesome, and sometimes just flat-out wrong to the point where laughing at them presents a moral quandary, Candy Coated Madness is Strand at his demented best!
Table of contents:
- "Virtual Reality Kill Zone"
- "Good Deeds"
- "Captain Pistachio's Charming Rampage"
- "The Last Thing You Want to Be"
- "Lab Experiment Turf War"
- "No Tomato"
- "Clyde the Necrophile"
- "Don't Make Fun of the Haunted House"
- "Ivan's Night Out"
- "Pointy Canes"
- "Giant Mutant Cockroaches in the Old West vs. Zombies"
- "Outpouring"
- "Smashing Jacks"
- "Faerie"
- "Green Suits"
- "The Fraud"
- "Hostile"
- "The Great Stone Face vs. the Gargoyles"
- "Parody"
- "Awakening"
- "Dismemberment Fraud"
- "Beware! The! Beverage!"
- "Rotten Eggs"
- "Gave Up the Ghost"
- "December Birthday"
- "My Werewolf Neighbor"
Plus an introduction and story notes!
©2020 Jeff Strand (P)2021 Jeff StrandListeners also enjoyed...
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Alex stared at the red pocketknife shown to him by his daughter. A pocketknife owned by somebody he hadn't seen in years. They met first in boarding school at age 12. Alex Fletcher, shy and scared. Darren Rust, always furiously scribbling away in a private journal. It was not an immediate friendship, but then one night Darren convinced his roommate to sneak off school grounds to see something glorious.
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Another Great Volume in the Series
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I can't even...
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5 out of 5 stars
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Finished It In Two Sittings
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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After a disastrous evening playing slot machines, Ethan Caustin wonders how he's going to explain his massive loss to his wife and kids. As he tries to find his way out of the casino, sick to his stomach and filled with self-loathing, he's approached by a stranger who offers a solution to his problem. It's a simple game. A 99 percent chance for him to win $10,000. In the remote chance that he loses...well, he'll be strapped into a device that shatters his left arm.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Don't bet on it!
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Autumn Bleeds into Winter
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 131
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 120
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 119
Somebody has been abducting children in Fairbanks, Alaska. One of the victims was 14-year-old Curtis Black's best friend, Todd. Curtis saw it happen. He knows exactly who did it. But he can't prove that it was his neighbor, Gerald Martin. The authorities find no evidence of the crime. There's nothing they can do. So he's going to confront Mr. Martin himself. And this is just the beginning of the terrifying story.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Jeff Strand will have you laughing the whole time!
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Wolf Hunt Trilogy
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 105
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 105
All three of the hilariously bloody and action-packed werewolf novels in one collection!
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5 out of 5 stars
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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People Kill People
- By: Ellen Hopkins
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
People kill people. Guns just make it easier. A gun is sold in the classifieds after killing a spouse, bought by a teenager for needed protection. But which was it? Each has the incentive to pick up a gun, to fire it. Was it Rand or Cami, married teenagers with a young son? Was it Silas or Ashlyn, members of a white supremacist youth organization? Daniel, who fears retaliation because of his race, who possessively clings to Grace, the love of his life? Or Noelle, who lost everything after a devastating accident, and has sunk quietly into depression?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Ellen You've done it again!
- By Gillian Francoeur on 06-12-20
By: Ellen Hopkins
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 72
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Story5 out of 5 stars 72
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Jack of Spades
- By: James Hankins
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 11 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 171
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 147
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Story4 out of 5 stars 146
Just two years ago, the media turned Detective John Spader into a hero. He'd caught a twisted serial killer terrorizing Massachusetts, and the "Jack of Spades," as the media dubbed Spader, was born. But when the murderer walked free on a technicality - free to kill again - the public turned on Spader. Now a new serial killer is on the loose. He wears the silly, gap-toothed, grinning mask of Galaxo, Starboy Avenger! - a cartoon alien of unparalleled popularity with children.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent modern detective novel!
- By Wayne on 06-11-18
By: James Hankins
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Any Man
- A Novel
- By: Amber Tamblyn
- Narrated by: Glenn Davis, Robin Miles, Therese Plummer, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 489
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 446
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Story4 out of 5 stars 445
In this electric and provocative debut novel, Amber Tamblyn blends genres of poetry, prose, and elements of suspense to give shape to the shocking narratives of victims of sexual violence, mapping the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture, brilliantly brought to life through a multi-voice performance featuring Glenn Davis, Ben Foster, Marc Maron, Jason Ritter, John Roberts, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, January Lavoy, Phoebe Strole, Robin Miles, Thérèse Plummer, Dan Bittner, James Fouhey, and Michael Crouch.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I've been finished with this for hours
- By Bill on 06-29-18
By: Amber Tamblyn
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Final Cuts
- New Tales of Hollywood Horror and Other Spectacles
- By: Ellen Datlow
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 15 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
From the secret reels of a notoriously cursed cinematic masterpiece to the debauched livestreams of modern movie junkies who will do anything for clicks, Final Cuts brings together new and terrifying stories inspired by the many screens we can't peel our eyes away from. Inspired by the rich golden age of the film and television industries as well as the new media present, this new anthology reveals what evils hide behind the scenes and between the frames of our favorite medium.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not Poor, Not Rich
- By Gary & Jay on 08-23-20
By: Ellen Datlow
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 79
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Royal Series 1
- The Royal Treatment
- By: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 93
In a world nearly identical to ours, the North won the Civil War, Ben Affleck is the sexiest man alive, and Russia never sold Alaska to the US. Instead, Alaska is a rough, beautiful country ruled by a famously eccentric royal family, and urgently in need of a bride for the crown prince. But they have no idea what they're in for when they offer the job to a feisty commoner, a girl who's going to need...The Royal Treatment.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Exceptional
- By Amazon Customer on 03-12-20
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Point B
- A Teleportation Love Story
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Rebecca Soler
- Length: 15 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 148
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4 out of 5 stars 126
When the corporate monolith PortSys brought porting to the masses, CEO Emilia Kirsch and her son, Jason, accomplished what every other start-up company had failed to deliver. They really did change the world. They reversed climate change. They created a multitrillion-dollar industry out of thin air, curing economic woes across the globe. They made it so that anyone could be anywhere simply by touching a screen...including the man who murdered Sarah Huff. Now, Sarah’s 17-year-old sister, Anna, is determined to hunt the bastard down. But there are a few problems.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
What listeners say about Candy Coated Madness
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Suzy M.
- 07-29-21
awesome!
What a fun book! the stories were funny, silly and gory and the narrator gave an awesome performance. If you are looking for a horror anthology that is just a fun ride, consider this one. I now consider myself a fan of Jeff Strand. (also if i ever open a subscription box that included a short story by him, I'd be utterly delighted!!)
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- kathy pappas
- 04-21-23
So good!
Wow , I usually listen to these books in bed at night. There were a couple of stories that weren't my favorite, but overall its a really good book . And funny as can be . I'm laying in bed listening to one and honestly laughing out loud ! Not good for falling asleep but I can't help it .
Really good! Thanks !
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- chase c.
- 10-03-22
first Strand book I hated
I didn't like a single story here. this is my 6th book of his Ive been through.
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