Bubba Ho Tep / Bubba and the Cosmic Bloodsuckers
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Bubba Ho Tep / Bubba and the Cosmic Bloodsuckers
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Narrated by:
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Jude Gerard Prest
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By:
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Joe R. Lansdale
About this listen
Before Bubba Ho-Tep, there was Bubba and the Cosmic Blood-Suckers.
Part of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians, Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New Orleans junkyard.
Besides Elvis, among these righteous warriors is a hammer-wielding descendent of John Henry of railroad fame, a blind man who sees more than those with sight, Jack, a strategic wizard, and Elvis’s right hand man and journal writer, Johnny, all thrown in with Raven (real name Jenny) a female recruit who is also a budding pop star, and like Elvis, high on the charisma chart.
Their leader is none other than Colonel Parker, Elvis’s cutthroat manager, and a warrior himself, directly in contact with President Nixon, or possibly one of his doubles.
It’s an unnerving peek into a secret world, and a possible delusion. It’s what happened before Elvis, aka Sebastian Haff, found himself in an East Texas rest home, mounted on a walker, fighting an Egyptian mummy and worrying about a growth on his pecker.
Strange monsters, wild fights, sex with a beautiful ghost, a drug-induced trip into another dimension, and all manner of mayhem ensue, along with a Mississippi riverboat ride on a giant paddle wheel, and of course, there will be 3D glasses, fried peanut butter and ’nanna sandwiches, and a few hard-working zombies.
Bring the kids, but plug their ears and blindfold them. This is one wild and nasty ride to the dark side, but with laughter.
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A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,952
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,941
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,916
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 286
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 279
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 279
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,002
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,449
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,193
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 437
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 407
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 406
Jack Parker knows all too well how treacherous turn-of-the-century East Texas can be. His parents did not survive a smallpox epidemic. His grandfather was murdered. Now his sister Lula has been kidnapped by a criminal who may believe wearing a dead man's clothes protects them both from death. With bounty hunter Shorty, a charismatic and cunning dwarf, and Eustace, a gravedigging son of an ex-slave, the heartbroken young Jack sets off on an epic quest to rescue his sister from the corrupt men who control much of the new territory.
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4 out of 5 stars
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JESUE FORGIVES, SO WHY NOT ENJOY YOURSELF
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Deadman's Road
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
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- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,087
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 988
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Deadwood meets Cthulhu in this wild and profane Western romp featuring zombies, werewolves, evil spirits, and one pissed-off gunslinging preacher. The Wild West has never seen the likes of the Reverend Jebidiah Mercer, a hard man wielding a burning Bible in the battle between God and the devil, in an endless struggle he's not sure he cares who wins. With its five stories laced with fast-paced action, nonstop humor, and spine-tingling horror, Deadman's Road is your ride to hell....
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3 out of 5 stars
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And now for something different.
- By Cliff on 07-21-14
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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Sunset and Sawdust
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Deborah Marlow
- Length: 13 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Story4 out of 5 stars 80
Sunset Jones has just killed her husband. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of a small sawmill settlement called Camp Rapture where no woman refuses her husband. So everyone is angrily surprised when Sunset becomes the new constable and investigates murders in which her late husband might be implicated. Yet, no one is more surprised than Sunset when the murders lead her, not only to the conclusion of the case, but to a well of inner strength she never knew she had.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good Story and Book with Gnawing Drawling Narrator
- By Daniel McAfee on 09-11-12
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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The Bottoms
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
It's 1933 in East Texas and the Depression lingers in the air like a slow-moving storm. When a young Harry Collins and his little sister stumble across the body of a black woman who has been savagely mutilated and left to die in the bottoms of the Sabine River, their small town is instantly charged with tension. When a second body turns up, this time of a white woman, there is little Harry can do from stopping his Klan neighbors from lynching an innocent black man.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By Jennifer Brouillard on 03-23-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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A Fine Dark Line
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10
Thirteen-year-old Stanley Mitchel Jr. spends most of his time helping his family run the town's drive-in movie theater, reading ten-cent comics, and playing with his dog Nub. Life in East Texas circa 1958 is not very exciting until Stanley discovers a stash of crumbling old love letters in a pile of burnt rubble behind the drive-in. As Stanley reads through the letters, he finds himself in the middle of a town mystery and discovering the secrets of his sleepy town.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another Lansdale Classic
- By Tod M. Clark on 06-01-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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The Nightrunners
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4 out of 5 stars 19
In the field of country noir—the dark side of rural and small-town America—Lansdale staked his claim to East Texas with The Nightrunners. A '66 Chevy bears down on the countryside, with a carful of vicious teenagers and evil of Biblical proportions, in this terrifying morality tale of sex and violence.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Another amazing Lansdale novel
- By Kwyork3000 on 02-02-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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The Thicket
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Will Collyer
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 437
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 407
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 406
Jack Parker knows all too well how treacherous turn-of-the-century East Texas can be. His parents did not survive a smallpox epidemic. His grandfather was murdered. Now his sister Lula has been kidnapped by a criminal who may believe wearing a dead man's clothes protects them both from death. With bounty hunter Shorty, a charismatic and cunning dwarf, and Eustace, a gravedigging son of an ex-slave, the heartbroken young Jack sets off on an epic quest to rescue his sister from the corrupt men who control much of the new territory.
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4 out of 5 stars
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JESUE FORGIVES, SO WHY NOT ENJOY YOURSELF
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-11-14
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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Deadman's Road
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,087
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 988
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 985
Deadwood meets Cthulhu in this wild and profane Western romp featuring zombies, werewolves, evil spirits, and one pissed-off gunslinging preacher. The Wild West has never seen the likes of the Reverend Jebidiah Mercer, a hard man wielding a burning Bible in the battle between God and the devil, in an endless struggle he's not sure he cares who wins. With its five stories laced with fast-paced action, nonstop humor, and spine-tingling horror, Deadman's Road is your ride to hell....
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3 out of 5 stars
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And now for something different.
- By Cliff on 07-21-14
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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Sunset and Sawdust
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Deborah Marlow
- Length: 13 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 105
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 80
Sunset Jones has just killed her husband. Never mind that he was raping her. Pete Jones was constable of a small sawmill settlement called Camp Rapture where no woman refuses her husband. So everyone is angrily surprised when Sunset becomes the new constable and investigates murders in which her late husband might be implicated. Yet, no one is more surprised than Sunset when the murders lead her, not only to the conclusion of the case, but to a well of inner strength she never knew she had.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Good Story and Book with Gnawing Drawling Narrator
- By Daniel McAfee on 09-11-12
By: Joe R. Lansdale
-
The Bottoms
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
It's 1933 in East Texas and the Depression lingers in the air like a slow-moving storm. When a young Harry Collins and his little sister stumble across the body of a black woman who has been savagely mutilated and left to die in the bottoms of the Sabine River, their small town is instantly charged with tension. When a second body turns up, this time of a white woman, there is little Harry can do from stopping his Klan neighbors from lynching an innocent black man.
-
5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it!
- By Jennifer Brouillard on 03-23-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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A Fine Dark Line
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 10
Thirteen-year-old Stanley Mitchel Jr. spends most of his time helping his family run the town's drive-in movie theater, reading ten-cent comics, and playing with his dog Nub. Life in East Texas circa 1958 is not very exciting until Stanley discovers a stash of crumbling old love letters in a pile of burnt rubble behind the drive-in. As Stanley reads through the letters, he finds himself in the middle of a town mystery and discovering the secrets of his sleepy town.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Another Lansdale Classic
- By Tod M. Clark on 06-01-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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The Nightrunners
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 23
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4 out of 5 stars 19
In the field of country noir—the dark side of rural and small-town America—Lansdale staked his claim to East Texas with The Nightrunners. A '66 Chevy bears down on the countryside, with a carful of vicious teenagers and evil of Biblical proportions, in this terrifying morality tale of sex and violence.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Another amazing Lansdale novel
- By Kwyork3000 on 02-02-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
-
Waltz of Shadows
- Lost Lansdale Series, Volume 1
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Tom Jordan
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
When Bill and his friends accidentally witness a homicide by two hitmen known only as Fat Boy and Cobra Man, everyone but Bill is slaughtered. After escaping by the skin of his teeth, Bill runs to his Uncle Hank, who reluctantly gets involved, and together, they begin a clandestine takedown of Fat Boy and Cobra Man that leads them to something much darker, much more unspeakable than simple murder or revenge. Waltz of Shadows, a novel not for the feint of heart, is Lansdale at his darkest.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
story was great
- By terry butler on 04-20-24
By: Joe R. Lansdale
-
The Drive-In
- A B-Movie with Blood and Popcorn, Made in Texas
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Matt Godfrey
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 98
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 90
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 90
A comet, red and smiling with jagged teeth, flashes across the sky. People try to leave but find they are trapped by some acidic goo surrounding the entire drive-in. They grow hungry, homicidal, and suicidal. Then along comes the Popcorn King, a jiving, rhyming creature formed by blue-white lightning, with four arms and a popcorn bucket on its head.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Horror Genre Classic
- By Tod M. Clark on 10-05-20
By: Joe R. Lansdale
-
The Donut Legion
- A Novel
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Joe R. Lansdale, Kasey Lansdale, Finlay Stevenson, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 49
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 42
Charlie Garner has a bad feeling. His ex-wife, Meg, has been missing for over a week and one quick peek into her home shows all her possessions packed up in boxes. Neighbors claim she’s running from bill collectors, but Charlie suspects something more sinister is afoot. Meg was last seen working at the local donut shop, a business run by a shadow group most refer to as ‘The Saucer People’; a space-age, evangelist cult who believe their compound to be the site of an extraterrestrial Second Coming.
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4 out of 5 stars
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cults, donuts and noir of my!
- By Anonymous User on 05-02-23
By: Joe R. Lansdale
-
Freezer Burn
- By: Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: Brad Sanders
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 6
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 6
After a botched holdup, Bill, a not-too-bright bungler who has been living with his dead mother in order to collect her social security checks, hides out in a traveling freak show populated by a bizarre assortment of bearded ladies, hermaphrodites, dogmen, and a mysterious frozen man.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Combo of Fredric Brown & James M. Cain
- By Char on 01-04-24
By: Joe R. Lansdale
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
-
Fright Night
- The Novelization
- By: John Skipp, Craig Spector
- Narrated by: Peter Atkins
- Length: 4 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 69
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 59
Charley Brewster is a horror movie fan, a kid with an active imagination. So, when he begins telling people that his new next-door neighbor is a vampire, no one believes him. Not the police, not his girlfriend Amy, not even the school weirdo Evil Ed. But Charley's seen the coffin and the bodies drained of blood and knows he will be the vampire's next victim.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
great story
- By Raymond Knapik on 04-28-21
By: John Skipp, and others