Bless Your Heart

A Novel

By: Lindy Ryan

Narrated by: Stephanie Németh-Parker

A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish from debut author Lindy Ryan.

Rise and shine. The Evans women have some undead to kill.

It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny—Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.

But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi—the original vampire—are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.

As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.

A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish.

"A gloriously gruesome, compulsively readable debut that is as grizzly as it is clever and heartfelt."—Rachel Harrison

A Macmillan Audio production from Minotaur Books.

©2024 Lindy Ryan (P)2024 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

“Such a brilliant blend of banter and dread. Authored with the confidence of a storyteller who knows every inch, cadence, and beat of their tale. Instantly cinematic. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to wish you were part of the Evans family, working at the Evans Funeral Home, just so you can spend more time with these people. Lindy Ryan is on fire with this book.” (Josh Malerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box and Daphne)

"The Evans women have arrived and these Southern belle slayers are carving out a spot in our undead hearts. Lindy Ryan has harnessed the charm and horror of a Romero-helmed Steel Magnolias, equal parts Carson McCullers and Bram Stoker. Bless her heart." (Clay McLeod Chapman, author of Ghost Eaters)

"Lindy Ryan is among the most electrifying voices in the horror genre today. Her writing is devastating, beautiful, and horrifying in all the best ways. With her new novel, she's created a group of characters you won't ever forget set in a world that's sure to get under your skin. Bless Your Heart is everything you could want in a horror novel and more. Highly recommended." (Gwendolyn Kiste, Three-time Bram Stoker Awards®-winning author of The Rust Maidens and Reluctant Immortals)

Creepy summer listen. I loved it!

I highly recommend! It’s funny, sassy, a little creepy, with some mystery, and a twist. Too fun!

Things That Go Bump In the Night

This was a standout comedy horror novel for me and I absolutely adored it, especially the Evans women. Set in a small Texas town, four generations of Evans women help run the funeral parlor from 80-year old Ducey, the steely matriarch, to 15-year old Luna, the youngest Evans just trying to survive high school. Things start to go bump in the night and before we know it people start to turn up, or not turn up, dead all throughout the town. Big moments happen for everyone along with there being consequences to actions taken with everything coming full circle in the end.

Throughout the story we learn a little bit about the big mess that occurred 15 years prior and about how each of these characters think. I especially enjoyed bouncing around between the different viewpoints which I'm not usually a fan of but it was handled so deftly with this novel that I was excited to see what each character was doing or what they were thinking about with the situation.

I've got to say that the narrator, Stephanie Németh-Parker, also really brought it all beautifully together. The way she changed her voice to fit all of the different characters really gave them an extra oomph and even her male intonation wasn't too bad. Highly recommend this book especially if you want your horror southern fried with a dash of hot sauce.

Bless y’all’s heart!

What a fantastic debut! This story is unique and feels classic at the same time! 4 generations of Texas women run a small town funeral home, where they “take care of” the restless dead! It made me laugh, it made me cry! Fantastic narration! Highly recommend!

Fast read, fun mystery

Good storyline, well developed characters and good twist. Listened to it in three days! Looking forward to the next book.

Fantastic experience!

Really loved this book, and the production of the audio book was done really well. Highly recommend!

Excellent Vampire story!

I loved this book from start to finish. The characters are well created and the story was great.

I can't wait for the next one!

This book follows Luna through being a teenager in the 1990s. Her family is a little odd but they stick together and run the town's funeral parlor. I need the next in the series asap.

Like true blood meets practical magic

I usually hate fun reads. Like I love a super long heavy plot but this book was just sooooo good. The narrater deserves an award and all the characters were interesting and compelling. I want more

The beginning of a fun saga

Fun story, well written and very well read. I could see every character and look forward to more adventures with these strong, smart and courageous women.

Hang in there

If you can get past the gory explanations and the first few chapters would be glad you did!