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Birds Aren't Real
- The True Story of Mass Avian Murder and the Largest Surveillance Campaign in US History
- Narrated by: Connor Gaydos, Peter McIndoe
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
This program is read by the authors.
The true story of the greatest conspiracy in US history—and how to fight back.
Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? No one has, not in many, many years. They used to be everywhere. You couldn’t walk out of your front door in New York City in the 1930s without seeing dozens of those little guys scurrying around. Today, there are millions of grown up pigeons in New York, but not a baby pigeon to be seen. That’s because they come out of the factory as adults.
This is one of the many smoking guns of the bird drone surveillance crisis. Since 1959, the Deep State has mercilessly slaughtered over 12 billion birds and replaced them with identical drones that are designed to spy on private citizens and report their every action directly to the government. From pet canaries to Sesame Street, the shadowy figures that pull the strings have infiltrated every aspect of our society, making a mockery of civil liberties while the American people live in blissful ignorance. Until now.
In Birds Aren’t Real, whistleblowers Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos trace the roots of a political conspiracy so vast and well-hidden that it almost seems like an elaborate hoax. These hero Bird Truthers have risked life and limb to compile and disseminate a treasure trove of information about the origins of the surveillance crisis, its spread, and the patriots who are on the front lines today, raising awareness and working to reclaim America as the land of the free. This urgent manifesto features a host of useful illustrations, activities, and leaked classified documents that will convince even the most outspoken skeptic that birds aren’t real. The truth is out there: will you stand and fight before it’s too late?
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.
Critic reviews
“More than a million people have become followers of a conspiracy theory that birds aren’t real…[the movement] mirrors some of the absurdity that has taken flight across the country.”—60 Minutes
“This is Gen Z’s attempt to upend the rabbit hole with absurdism.”—New York Times
“The most perfect, playful distillation of where we are in relation to the media landscape we’ve built but can’t control…It’s a conspiracy-within-a-conspiracy.”—The Guardian
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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
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Encouraging memoir: Sorry, cheer
- By Aaron Menz on 07-03-23
By: Jessica Pan
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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Love Bowen Yang
- By Sheena Bambus on 03-15-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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Made me want a G&T
- By C. Seaver on 06-11-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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Made in America
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: William Roberts
- Length: 18 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In Made in America, Bryson de-mythologizes his native land, explaining how a dusty hamlet with neither woods nor holly became Hollywood, how the Wild West wasn't won, why Americans say 'lootenant' and 'Toosday', how Americans were eating junk food long before the word itself was cooked up, as well as exposing the true origins of the G-string, the original $64,000 question, and Dr Kellogg of cornflakes fame.
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Bryson Not Reading Makes For a Rare Fail
- By John on 02-28-14
By: Bill Bryson
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Inspirational and magical, here is the story of a boy who grows up determined to save the world from its most savage ecological predator: Man himself. "What the hell do you want?" snarled Frogman at Raff Cody, as the boy stepped innocently onto the reputed murderer's property. Fifteen years old, Raff, along with his older cousin, Junior, had only wanted to catch a glimpse of Frogman's 1,000-pound alligator. Thus, begins the saga of Anthill....
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You just have to love ants
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Stories Are Weapons
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Annalee Newitz traces the way disinformation, propaganda, and violent threats have evolved from military weapons deployed against foreign adversaries into tools in domestic culture wars. Newitz delves into America's deep-rooted history with psychological operations, beginning with Benjamin Franklin's Revolutionary War-era fake newspaper and nineteenth-century wars on Indigenous nations, and reaching its apotheosis with the Cold War and twenty-first-century influence campaigns online.
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What listeners say about Birds Aren't Real
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- J. C.
- 06-13-24
disappointed
I wanted to like this but not as funny as I'd hoped.
some of the jokes were pretty funny but most of them fell flat.
I don't regret purchasing it because I'm happy to support these guys who do an otherwise fantastic job on the Birds Aren't Real meme. I just think they may have to take a different approach when writing a book.
I think a different narrator might help. I know the authors are usually the best but this might have been funnier with somone who was better at a serious and deadpan delivery.
I still love you guys and no regrets on the purchase but I think you can do better.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-02-24
The truth we needed
The single most important exposé in the history of the United States. I cannot overstate how crucial the information in this book is to forming a correct understanding of the world around us. Never forget: There is bird propaganda all around us. if it flies it spies. Bird watching goes both ways. Spread the word!!!!!
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- That Guy From the Video Store
- 06-06-24
I love that they committed to the bit.
No evolution in the story made it feel a little repetitive, but I love that they committed to the bit rather than reworking it to make the book a little more dynamic.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Roger Bowersox
- 06-04-24
Confirmation of the greatest government conspiracy.
Confirmation of the greatest government conspiracy. Those of us who know will follow the instructions here to end the drones and bring back the burbs.
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- Mathias farnsworth
- 06-18-24
The truth is out for those who seek it
The overall book was interesting and funny explaining of the government take over the truth. The vail of government lies exposed
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