Becoming Eve

My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman

By: Abby Stein

Narrated by: Abby Stein

The powerful coming-of-age story of an ultra-Orthodox child who was born to become a rabbinic leader and instead became a woman

Abby Stein was raised in a Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn, isolated in a culture that lives according to the laws and practices of 18th century Eastern Europe, speaking only Yiddish and Hebrew and shunning modern life. Stein was born as the first son in a dynastic rabbinical family, poised to become a leader of the next generation of Hasidic Jews.

But Abby felt certain at a young age that she was a girl. She suppressed her desire for a new body while looking for answers wherever she could find them, from forbidden religious texts to smuggled secular examinations of faith. Finally, she orchestrated a personal exodus from ultra-Orthodox manhood to mainstream femininity - a radical choice that forced her to leave her home, her family, her way of life.

Powerful in the truths it reveals about biology, culture, faith, and identity, Becoming Eve poses the enduring question: How far will you go to become the person you were meant to be?

©2020 Abby Stein (P)2020 Seal Press

Critic reviews

"Becoming Eve is a powerful, moving story of grappling with both gender and faith. Abby Chava Stein is a compelling storyteller who shows us how to follow the voice within--even when everyone and everything around us is telling us not to." (Danya Ruttenberg, author of Surprised By God and Nurture the Wow)

"Becoming Eve is a beautiful, haunting story of self-discovery. Her longing for truth, acceptance, and love will echo in the heart of every reader." (Leah Vincent, author of Cut Me Loose: Sin and Salvation After My Ultra-Orthodox Girlhood)

"'No agenda, just my story,' Abby Stein writes in the prologue to her fascinating memoir. And yet, her book delivers on a very definite agenda: helping us empathize with experiences radically different from our own. With humor and grace-and impressive erudition of Jewish mysticism-Abby Stein grants us entry into a singular, otherworldly capsule: the byzantine world of Hasidic 'royal' families and the Sisyphean pursuit of living an authentic life within it. (Shulem Deen, author of All Who Go Do Not Return, winner of the Prix Médicis and the National Jewish Book Award)

Brava Abby! A story of love and self-determination

I absolutely enjoyed reading about the intricate parts of the ultra orthodox Jewish community and the intersection of gender transitioning. There is pain related to the religious rigidity and misunderstanding of gender while there is love still. I really appreciate how that was conveyed with such deep appreciation for the people, the culture, the lineage, Judaism, and yet nothing stands in the right to live authentically.

Fascinating!

Fascinating insights into what it feels like to be transgender and what it feels like to grow up in the ultraorthodox community. An authentic and compelling story that had me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.

A captivating memoir

It was somewhat different than I expected but a I was not disappointed. It's not a gender transition book, it is more a book on hasidic Judaism. I did not know much about how it is to grow up in the hasidic community, so I learnt a lot. Growing up and knowing you are transgender all your life in this closed community gave the story a unique perspective on transgenderism.

Really touching.

Enjoyed this a lot. Loved the author’s honesty and her accent :). I learned so much about Orthodox Judaism. She is an inspiration.

Truely Amazing

An amazing story all trans girls should listen to. Really appreciate that Abby Stein narrated this book. Could clearly hear every word.

Riveting Read

I was enthralled from beginning to end of listening to this book. Thank you to Abby Stein for writing it & reading it to us. Your voice inflections were so vulnerable, you gave us your personality. Thank you for taking us on your life journey. May you go from strength to strength.

Great story with abrupt ending

This was a great story and highly engaging. I found that it ended very abruptly and I wanted to know what happened in Abby’s leaving the community. It felt like a key part of the story was missing. Regardless, highly recommend if you are interested in this genre of memoirs or are looking to learn more about the experience of leaving the ultra orthodox community. Thank you for sharing your story, Abby.

Best book I've read in a long time.

One of the most heartfelt, honest, and raw stories I've had the pleasure of listening to. I'm very thankful to have come across this title that will forever stay with me.

The Soulful Story of a Male to Female Hasid.

Being somewhat connected to the LGBTQ community I have held up a wall toward the T or transgender part of the LGBQ community. Being attracted to the same gender is quite different than believing you are not the gender you were born in the body of. Either I never gave transgender a chance or I never heard an explanation that gave me any understanding of what being transgender actually means. This book, takes us from way out in right field to the heart and soul, and especially the soul of someone who lived this way since age 2 or 3. She tells of how she knew she was a she, while still being a he. She touches on how her fundamentalist Jewish culture, which is actually not so different from the the rest of society, follows unbending gender roles.

Because the Hasidic Jewish community which Abby grew up in, in Brooklyn, New York is so insular and keeps out knowledge and exposure of the rest of society, including non-orthodox Jews. The thought that she was a she while in a male body did enter and remained in her mind and soul from a very young age.

One gets a rare insight into the sheltered Hasidic Jewish world. We hear (or read) about this world as it is. Much of it quite positive, some not so positive. One does nott at all get the sense that one is being manipulated to show how beautiful nor how ugly the Hasidic Jewish world is or was. Abby shares what she shares with us. mostly just to give us an understanding of what she lived through. No doubt she has more to say. I look forward to hearing more. God bless her. Baruch Hashem.

Wonderfully read by the author

There is no possibly way this could have been read by anyone other than the author. The story was as much a brief introduction to hasidic culture as it was a story of a young persons life as a closeted trans person. Still, the book will be relatable to those adults that didn't have the internet as a child and didn't know trans was for many years of their life.

In fact, I believe this is the most relatable book I've ever read on the subject and I didn't know what trans was until I was in my third decade of life. To that point I've only seen depictions on talk shows of sexualized and unrelatable individuals.

The book ends pretty abruptly at the coming out. Understandingly so, this is a young persons perspective, and they are still young when writing this. The details of their coming out process are not revealed. The relationship over time with their young child still remains to occur. If their family will accept it eventually it's unknown.

I recommend this book to anyone that ever wondered if trans people are created by the media, or if they occur naturally as history of many cultures would indicate.

I recommend this book to any young person that wonders how they themselves may have come to terms with trans, had they grown up not knowing about trans.

I further recommend this book to anyone with an appetite for learning.