Beautiful You
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Beautiful You
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Narrated by:
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Carol Monda
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By:
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Chuck Palahniuk
About this listen
From the author of Fight Club, the classic portrait of the damaged contemporary male psyche, now comes this novel about the apocalyptic marketing possibilities of female pleasure. Beautiful You is Palahniuk's much-anticipated satire of the emerging erotic thriller genre, a mash-up of mommy porn and chick lit à la Sex and the City, and fantasy lit à la Clan of the Cave Bear. Imagine if Ira Levin had a baby with Jean Auel.
Penny Harrigan is a low-level associate in a big Manhattan law firm with an apartment in Queens and no love life at all. So it comes as a great shock when she finds herself invited to dinner by one C. Linus Maxwell, aka "Climax-Well", a software mega-billionaire and lover of the most gorgeous and accomplished women on earth. After dining at Manhattan's most exclusive restaurant, he whisks Penny off to a hotel suite in Paris, where he proceeds, notebook in hand, to bring her to previously undreamed-of heights of orgasmic pleasure for days on end. What's not to like? This: Penny discovers that she is a test subject for the final development of a line of sex toys to be marketed in a nationwide chain of boutiques called Beautiful You. So potent and effective are these devices that women by the millions line up outside the stores on opening day and then lock themselves in their room with them and stop coming out. Except for batteries. Maxwell's plan for erotically enabled world domination must be stopped. But how?
©2014 Chuck Palahniuk (P)2014 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 142
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 144
Holed up with other mothers-to-be in a secret maternity home in Los Angeles, Scarlett Chen is far from her native China, where she worked in a factory and fell in love with the married owner, Boss Yeung. Now she’s carrying his baby. To ensure that his child - his first son - has every advantage, Boss Yeung has shipped Scarlett off to give birth on American soil. As Scarlett awaits the baby’s arrival, she spars with her imperious housemates. The only one who fits in even less is Daisy, a spirited pregnant teenager who is being kept apart from her American boyfriend.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful surprise!
- By Barbara Voss on 10-16-18
By: Vanessa Hua
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The Bucket List
- A Novel
- By: Georgia Clark
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
From the author of the critically acclaimed “lively and engrossing parable for women of all generations” (Harper’s Bazaar) The Regulars comes a deeply funny and thoughtful tale of a young woman who, after discovering she has the breast cancer gene, embarks on an unforgettable bucket list adventure. The Bucket List cleverly and compassionately explores Lacey’s relationship to her body and her future. Both are things Lacey thought she could control through hard work and sacrifice. But the future, it turns out, is more complicated than she could ever imagine.
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5 out of 5 stars
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page turner
- By Amazon Customer on 04-25-19
By: Georgia Clark
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Just the Way You Are
- Lost Texas Hearts, Book 1
- By: Christina Dodd
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 396
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 279
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Story4 out of 5 stars 281
When Hope Prescott's parents disappeared, her carefree teenage life vanished forever. She and her three siblings were separated and sent to different foster homes around the country. Now, seven years later, Hope is still searching for them. To support herself, she works for an answering service, and cares for her clients as if they were family. When wealthy businessman Zachariah Givens hires Hope's service, Hope initially mistakes Zack for his butler....
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3 out of 5 stars
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5 stars for the beginning.
- By Jane on 12-14-15
By: Christina Dodd
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Last Hit
- Hitman, Book 1
- By: Jessica Clare, Jen Frederick
- Narrated by: Iggy Toma, Kasha Kensington
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 797
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 745
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 745
Nikolai: I have been a contract killer since I was a boy. For years I savored the fear caused by my name, the trembling at the sight of my tattoos. If you saw my eyes, it was the last vision you'd have. With her I am the mark, and I am ready to lie down and let her capture me. Opening my small, scarred heart to her brings out my enemies. I will carry out one last hit, but if they hurt her I will bring the world down around their ears.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
THANK YOU JC & JF FOR A PERFECT 5 STAR LISTEN
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 03-22-15
By: Jessica Clare, and others
-
Praise Song for the Butterflies
- A Novel
- By: Bernice L. McFadden
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 239
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 214
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 215
Abeo Kata lives a comfortable, happy life in West Africa as the privileged nine-year-old daughter of a government employee and stay-at-home mother. But when the Katas' idyllic lifestyle takes a turn for the worse, Abeo's father, following his mother's advice, places the girl in a religious shrine, hoping that the sacrifice of his daughter will serve as atonement for the crimes of his ancestors. Unspeakable acts befall Abeo for the 15 years she is held in the shrine. When she is finally rescued, broken and battered, she must struggle to overcome her past.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Searing!
- By Susie Bright on 09-05-18
-
What a Sicilian Husband Wants
- By: Michelle Smart
- Narrated by: Helen Stern
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 106
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 92
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 93
On his terms only! Moving countries, cutting all ties, and giving birth to her baby alone, Grace Holden is desperately hiding from her past. But just when she thinks she might have broken free, it catches up with her in the form of her millionaire Sicilian husband! Grace swore her daughter wouldn't grow up among the dark power and money of his family…but no one walks away from Luca Mastrangelo.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
What a Sicilian Husband Wants
- By DAA on 05-07-20
By: Michelle Smart
-
Blackmail, My Love
- A Murder Mystery
- By: Katie Gilmartin
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 244
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 226
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 225
Josie O'Conner travels to San Francisco in 1951 to locate her gay brother, a private dick investigating a blackmail ring targeting lesbians and gay men. Jimmy's friends claim that just before he disappeared he became a rat, informing the cops on the bar community. Josie adopts Jimmy's trousers and wingtips, battling to clear his name, halt the blackmailers, and exact justice for the many queer corpses.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Fine Writing, Beautifully Read
- By CJ on 06-14-15
By: Katie Gilmartin
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Goddess of Filth
- By: V. Castro
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 171
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 156
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 156
One hot summer night, Lourdes, Fernanda, Ana, Perla, and Pauline hold a séance. Their tipsy laughter turns to terror when the flames burn straight through their prayer candles and Fernanda starts crawling toward her friends and chanting in Nahuatl, the language of their Aztec ancestors. Over the next few weeks, Fernanda starts acting strangely—smearing herself in black makeup, shredding her hands on rose thorns, sucking sin out of the mouths of the guilty. The local priest is convinced it's a demon, but Lourdes suspects it's something else—something far more ancient and powerful.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great
- By Elise on 09-25-23
By: V. Castro
-
The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 109
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 109
Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
-
Molotov Obsession
- The Complete Duet
- By: Anna Zaires
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 328
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 310
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 309
On the run from ruthless killers, I take a job at a remote mountain estate tutoring a little boy. It's the ideal shelter from the storm that has engulfed my life, but there is a catch. The boy's father is the most beautiful, most dangerous man I've ever met. Darkly seductive and filthy rich, Nikolai Molotov is as magnetic as he is enigmatic. Bruised knuckles and tailored suits, tender endearments and dirty promises—everything about my new employer draws me in, even as my instincts warn that my safe haven just might be the devil's lair. My protector may turn out to be my captor.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Great Performance, Mediocre Writing
- By L on 04-16-23
By: Anna Zaires
-
All That's Left of Me
- A Novel
- By: Janis Thomas
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 137
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 136
It starts with a simple wish, and Emma Davies hardly notices when it comes true. She’s too preoccupied with a life she isn’t happy in - the spark in her marriage has fizzled, her career is headed nowhere and her boss is a misogynist. Her teenage daughter has grown distant, and her heart breaks daily for her teenage son with cerebral palsy. But soon Emma discovers her wishes are coming true, and she realizes that she has been given the power to change her life. Either that, or she’s going insane.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY LIFE . . . .
- By TONYA on 06-29-19
By: Janis Thomas
-
When She Woke
- By: Hillary Jordan
- Narrated by: Heather Corrigan
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 724
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 645
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 643
Hannah Payne awakens to a nightmare. She is lying on a table in a bare room, covered only by a paper gown, with cameras broadcasting her every move to millions at home. She is now a convicted criminal, and her skin color has been genetically altered. Her crime, according to the State of Texas: the murder of her unborn child, whose father she refuses to name. Her color: red. The color of newly shed blood.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
A Thoughtful Dystopia
- By Amy on 01-28-13
By: Hillary Jordan
-
Animal Instincts
- By: Gena Showalter
- Narrated by: Isabelle Gordon
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 29
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Unleashing your inner tigress isn't easy when you're a doormat by nature! Still, after escaping a wretched marriage to a cheating SOB, Dallas party planner Naomi Delacroix isn't about to let another man sweet-talk her into sheathing her protective claws. Not even hunky millionaire Royce Powell, who's hired her to arrange his mother's surprise party. Even if he does make her purr like a kitten with one heated glance....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I love this book.
- By suhnee on 09-25-19
By: Gena Showalter
-
The Sky Is Yours
- A Novel
- By: Chandler Klang Smith
- Narrated by: Kirsten Potter
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 89
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 84
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 82
In the burned-out, futuristic city of Empire Island, three young people navigate a crumbling metropolis constantly under threat from a pair of dragons that circle the skies. When violence strikes, reality star Duncan Humphrey Ripple V, the spoiled scion of the metropolis' last dynasty; Baroness Swan Lenore Dahlberg, his tempestuous, death-obsessed betrothed; and Abby, a feral beauty he discovered tossed out with the trash; are forced to flee everything they've ever known.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
a hot mess
- By Alison on 04-09-19
-
Used-to-Be Lovers
- By: Linda Lael Miller
- Narrated by: Jack Garrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 33
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 34
Sharon Harrison and Tony Morelli were never able to control the powerful chemistry between them. It led first to heart-stopping passion, then to marriage and children. They thought they had it all, but under pressure their happy home became an explosive battleground. Even divorce, however, can't completely separate them. Spending alternate days in their home with their children, they have an unorthodox arrangement that keeps them in close contact. And keeps the desire alive...
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
The immaturity of the heroin st
- By Bridgett on 06-04-24
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For decades Hazie Coogan has tended to the outsized needs of Katherine “Miss Kathie” Kenton, veteran of multiple marriages, career comebacks, and cosmetic surgeries. But danger arrives with gentleman caller Webster Carlton Westward III, who worms his way into Miss Kathie’s heart - and boudoir. Soon, Hazie discovers that this bounder has already written a celebrity memoir foretelling Miss Kathie’s death in an upcoming musical extravaganza. As the body count mounts, Hazie must execute a plan to save Katherine Kenton for her fans and for posterity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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not the most gripping CP book
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For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
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Chuck Palahniuk, the author of the New York Times best-sellers Fight Club and Lullaby, is known for his edgy novels, and Rant is no exception. Palahniuk presents this fictional biography of Buster "Rant" Casey in a series of vignettes told by the people who knew him best. As intricate as a spider web, Rant succeeds in recounting the story of one man's life only through the eyes of others. But the question remains, "Who was Rant Casey?"
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great on audiobook
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3 out of 5 stars
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not the most gripping CP book
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 434
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Palahniuk's New Hit
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The daughter of a narcissistic film star and a billionaire, Madison is abandoned at her Swiss boarding school over Christmas, while her parents are off touting their new projects and adopting more orphans. She dies over the holiday of a marijuana overdose - and the next thing she knows, she’s in Hell.
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Delightful
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Tender Branson - last surviving member of the so-called "Creedish Death Cult" - is dictating his incredible life story into the flight recorder of Flight 2039, cruising on autopilot at 39,000 feet somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. He is all alone in the plane, which will shortly reach terminal velocity and crash into the vast Australian outback.
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5 out of 5 stars
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genius
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By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Invisible Monsters Remix
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- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 33
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 33
Palahniuk’s fashion-model protagonist has it all - boyfriend, career, loyal best friend - until an accident destroys her face, her ability to speak, and her self-esteem. Enter Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, one operation away from becoming a bona fide woman.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Just get the original.
- By Quinn on 11-24-21
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Not Forever, but for Now
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- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 103
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Story3 out of 5 stars 103
Meet Otto and Cecil. Two brothers who grew up privileged in the Welsh countryside. They enjoyed watching nature shows, playing with their pet pony, impersonating their Grandfather…and killing the help. Murder is the family business after all. Downton Abbey, this is not. However, it’s not so easy to continue the family legacy with the constant stream of threats and distractions seemingly leaping from the hedgerow.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not sure what to say…
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By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Zombies
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 73
In Zombies, the absurdity of both life and death are on full display as the best and brightest of a high school prep school become tragically addicted to the latest drug craze - electric shocks from cardiac defibrillators. Funny, caustic, bizarre, poignant - this story represents everything listeners have come to love and expect from Chuck Palahniuk.
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5 out of 5 stars
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First review ever
- By Frankie on 04-22-16
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Diary
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 750
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 479
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Story4 out of 5 stars 479
Diary takes the form of a "coma diary" kept by one Misty Tracy Wilmot as her husband lies senseless in a hospital after a suicide attempt. It is a dark, hilarious, and poignant act of storytelling from America's favorite, most inventive nihilist.
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3 out of 5 stars
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The uninitiated need not apply
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By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Invisible Monsters
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 309
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
She’s a fashion model who has everything: a boyfriend, a career, a loyal best friend. But when a sudden freeway "accident" leaves her disfigured and incapable of speech, she goes from being the beautiful center of attention to being an invisible monster, so hideous that no one will acknowledge she exists. Enter Brandy Alexander, Queen Supreme, one operation away from becoming a real woman, who will teach her that reinventing yourself means erasing your past and making up something better. And that salvation hides in the last places you’ll ever want to look.
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5 out of 5 stars
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not sure what to expect,this wasn't it. but better
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By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Consider This
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 914
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Story5 out of 5 stars 906
In this spellbinding blend of memoir and insight, best-selling author Chuck Palahniuk shares stories and generous advice on what makes writing powerful and what makes for powerful writing. With advice grounded in years of careful study and a keenly observed life, Palahniuk combines practical advice and concrete examples from beloved classics, his own books, and a "kitchen-table MFA" culled from an evolving circle of beloved authors and artists, with anecdotes, postcards from the road, and much more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Poetic Justice
- By Dave Green on 01-20-20
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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The Invention of Sound
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Jefferson Mays
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 622
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 557
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Story4 out of 5 stars 555
Gates Foster lost his daughter, Lucy, 17 years ago. He's never stopped searching. Suddenly, a shocking new development provides Foster with his first major lead in over a decade, and he may finally be on the verge of discovering the awful truth. Meanwhile, Mitzi Ives has carved out a space among the Foley artists creating the immersive sounds giving Hollywood films their authenticity. Using the same secret techniques as her father before her, she's become an industry-leading expert in the sound of violence and horror, creating screams so bone-chilling, they may as well be real.
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5 out of 5 stars
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good one chuck
- By Dane on 11-12-20
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Burnt Tongues
- By: Chuck Palahniuk - editor, Richard Thomas - editor, Dennis Widmyer - editor
- Narrated by: Full Cast
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 62
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Story4 out of 5 stars 62
This collection of transgressive stories has been compiled through a rigorous nomination and vetting process and hand-selected by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, as the best of The Cult workshop. These stories run the gamut from horrific and fantastic to humorous and touching, but each leaves a lasting impression. Some may say even a scar.
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1 out of 5 stars
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what the fuck?!
- By VANESSA C. on 09-22-23
By: Chuck Palahniuk - editor, and others
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Shock Induction
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Michael David Axtell
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4 out of 5 stars 28
In Shock Induction, the best and brightest students at a seemingly reputable high school are disappearing. Every day it seems another overachiever is lost to an apparent suicide. But something far more sinister is lurking beneath the surface. These kids have been under surveillance since birth, monitored and measured by an online service called “Greener Pastures.” It’s here, in Greener Pastures, that billionaires observe and recruit the next generation of talent.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Avocado
- By ExarDjinn on 11-20-24
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Haunted
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Scott Brick, Marc Cashman, Erik Davies, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,833
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,310
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,315
Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: 23 of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter, sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months", and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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True Horror -- Not for the faint of heart, stomach
- By Dominique on 05-24-05
By: Chuck Palahniuk
What listeners say about Beautiful You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Rainy
- 06-05-15
This was fucking great
Really great book with a unique plot. The reading was really nice and it had some beer nice suprise twists
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Sabina
- 02-21-17
Not my favorite, but still ok.
I LOVE Chuck.. but this one was a little too far out there, even for him!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Heather (elevated_vibes13)
- 09-06-16
A book for the ladies
A surprise for sure, I enjoy the books very much and can never go wrong with this author he is always surprises me!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lindsey
- 06-16-15
So dirty, so hilarious
Marry me, Chuck? This makes 50 Shades of Grey seem like Green Eggs and Ham!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 01-20-24
Wow!
The story was a wild ride. I absolutely loved the reading, writing, and audio!
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Skyler Dowell
- 09-23-18
Spoilers
It ends with a vagina screaming. literally. The vagina screams... and Ron Howard is assumed to become a sex god.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Michael
- 12-14-15
crazy amazing
I didn't even read the story line preview. I saw Chuck write it abs knew it was going to be great. He never disappoints and ALWAYS keeps me wanting more!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Junkie
- 02-10-16
great
stunningly weird as always. chuck at his shocking best. the narration is refreshing and spot on, the ending is unexpected to say the least.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Christopher
- 04-09-24
Wow
I was not prepared for the subject matter. Started listening on a whim. I found it surprisingly good.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Jesse
- 07-21-21
The spite trash novel you're looking for.
No, really.
Hated twilight and 50 shades? you'll love how bad this is, it's miserable to listen to at some points but will have you laughing at just HOW BAD it can be.
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