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AutoFellatio
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Nick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
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Publisher's summary
"Apart from herpes and Lulu – everything is eventually swept away."
Just one shimmering pearl of wisdom from pop-star and polymath James Maker, whose worldly observations will (like herpes) once again be on everyone’s lips thanks to his award-winning memoir, remastered with new chapters.
If you hadn’t heard of rock bands Raymonde or RPLA – fronted by James in the 80s and 90s – you might be forgiven for mistaking AutoFellatio for fiction. But here fact is more fantastical than any novel. We follow our hero from Bermondsey enfant-terrible to Valencian grande dame, a scenic journey that stops off variously at Morrissey confidant, dominatrix, singer, songwriter.
It is literally littered with memorable bons mots and hilarious anecdotes that make you feel like you've hit the wedding-reception jackpot of being unexpectedly seated next to the groom's flamboyant uncle.
According to Wikipedia, very few men can perform the act of autofellatio. We never discover whether James is one of them but certainly, as a storyteller, he is one in a million.
James Maker first trod the boards in 1982 as dancer and backing vocalist with The Smiths, and was erroneously known as "The Fifth Smith". He subsequently became lyricist and lead singer with the 1980s Indie group, Raymonde, and 1990s "gay" Hard Rock group RPLA. In 2004, he supported the New York Dolls.
Critic reviews
Glitteringly epigrammatic, it’s a glam-rock Naked Civil Servant in court shoes. But funnier. And tougher.
-- Mark Simpson
Pistol sharp, loaded with witty one-liners and peppered with Maker’s scatter gun observations on life, music and the meaning of good hair.
-- Paul Burston
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One of the most successful music acts of all time, Dire Straits filled stadiums around the world. Their albums sold hundreds of millions of copies and their music - classics like “Sultans of Swing”, “Romeo and Juliet", “Money for Nothing”, and “Brothers in Arms” - is still played on every continent today. There was, quite simply, no bigger band on the planet throughout the '80s. In this powerful and entertaining memoir, founding member John Illsley gives the inside track on the most successful rock band of their time.
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An excellent autobiography about a wonderful time in music. I highly recommend it.
- By Laguirre on 06-25-24
By: John Illsley
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The Barbizon
- The Hotel that Set Women Free
- By: Paulina Bren
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to New York’s legendary hotel for women, the Barbizon. Liberated after WWI from home and hearth, women flocked to New York City during the Roaring Twenties. But even as women’s residential hotels became the fashion, the Barbizon stood out; it was designed for young women with artistic aspirations, and included soaring art studios and soundproofed practice rooms. More importantly still, with no men allowed beyond the lobby, the Barbizon signaled respectability, a place where a young woman of a certain class could feel at home.
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A Very Enjoyable Non Fiction, Mostly Easy Listening
- By Frank Donnelly on 03-23-21
By: Paulina Bren
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The Wisdom of Sally Red Shoes
- A Novel
- By: Ruth Hogan
- Narrated by: Elaine Claxton
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Once a spirited, independent woman with a rebellious streak, Masha's life was forever changed by a tragic event 12 years ago. Unable to let go of her grief, she finds comfort in her faithful canine companion Haizum and peace in the quiet lanes of her town's swimming pool. Almost without her realizing it, her life has shuddered to a halt.
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Sweet Story
- By Nancy Briggs on 12-14-19
By: Ruth Hogan
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The Castle on Sunset
- Life, Death, Love, Art, and Scandal at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont
- By: Shawn Levy
- Narrated by: Mike Chamberlain
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Since 1929, Hollywood’s brightest stars have flocked to the Chateau Marmont as if it were a second home. An apartment building-turned-hotel, the Chateau has been the backdrop for generations of gossip and folklore: where director Nicholas Ray slept with his 16-year-old Rebel Without a Cause star Natalie Wood; Jim Morrison swung from the balconies; John Belushi suffered a fatal overdose; and Lindsay Lohan got the boot after racking up nearly $50,000 in charges in less than two months. Much of what has happened inside the Chateau’s walls has eluded the public eye - until now.
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Was enjoying it until...
- By leigh on 04-22-20
By: Shawn Levy
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Queen Unseen
- My Life with the Greatest Rock Band of the 20th Century
- By: Peter Hince
- Narrated by: Peter Hince, Rupert Holliday Evans
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine being alongside one of the greatest bands in the history of rock, touring the globe, and being there as they perform at some of the best and biggest music venues in the world. Peter Hince didn't have to imagine. For more than a decade, he lived a life that other people can only dream of as he worked with Queen as the head of their road crew. In this intimate and affectionate book, Peter recalls the highlights of his years with the band.
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Loved it!
- By Tony R. on 11-20-18
By: Peter Hince
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The Dark Flood Rises
- A Novel
- By: Dame Margaret Drabble
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck
- Length: 13 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Francesca Stubbs has a very full life. A highly regarded expert on housing for the elderly who is herself getting on in age, she drives restlessly round England. Amid the professional conferences she attends, she fits in visits to old friends, brings home-cooked dinners to her ex-husband, texts her son, who is grieving over the sudden death of his girlfriend, and drops in on her daughter, a quirky young woman who lives in a floodplain in the West Country.
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Life Observed By An Exceptional Writer
- By Sara on 03-22-17
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Famous Father Girl
- A Memoir of Growing Up Bernstein
- By: Jamie Bernstein
- Narrated by: Jamie Bernstein
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The oldest daughter of revered composer/conductor Leonard Bernstein offers a rare look at her father on the centennial of his birth in a deeply intimate and broadly evocative memoir. The composer of On the Town and West Side Story, chief conductor of the New York Philharmonic, television star, humanitarian, friend of the powerful and influential, and the life of every party, Leonard Bernstein was an enormous celebrity during one of the headiest periods of American cultural life, as well as the most protean musician in 20th-century America.
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Can't say enough good things
- By barbara on 10-10-18
By: Jamie Bernstein
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Time Pieces
- A Dublin Memoir
- By: John Banville
- Narrated by: John Lee
- Length: 4 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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As much about the life of the city as it is about a life lived, sometimes, in the city, John Banville's "quasi-memoir" is as layered, emotionally rich, witty, and unexpected as any of his novels. Born and bred in a small town a train ride away from Dublin, Banville saw the city as a place of enchantment when he was a child, a birthday treat, the place where his beloved, eccentric aunt lived.
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‘loved it!
- By SandyK on 02-24-24
By: John Banville
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The Years
- By: Annie Ernaux
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The Years is a personal narrative of the period of 1941 to 2006 told through the lens of memory, impressions past and present - even projections into the future - photos, books, songs, radio, television, and decades of advertising and headlines, contrasted with intimate conflicts and written notes from six decades of diaries. Local dialect, words of the time, slogans, brands, and names for ever-proliferating objects are given a voice here. The voice we recognize as the author's continually dissolves and re-emerges.
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Mixed Feelings
- By Elin VanD on 05-10-20
By: Annie Ernaux
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The Price of Illusion
- A Memoir
- By: Joan Juliet Buck
- Narrated by: Joan Juliet Buck
- Length: 15 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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From Joan Juliet Buck, former editor-in-chief of Paris Vogue, comes a dazzling memoir: a fabulous account of four decades spent in the creative heart of London, New York, Los Angeles, and Paris, chronicling Buck's quest to discover the difference between glitter and gold, illusion and reality, and what looks like happiness from the thing itself.
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Narcissistic name dropper
- By Marlette on 12-03-19
By: Joan Juliet Buck
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Surviving Ireland
- By: Colm Tobin
- Narrated by: Colm Tobin
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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It's exhausting being Irish. The constant self-flagellation is enough to put anybody off their breakfast. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it the postcolonial overhang following centuries of oppression at the hands of a litany of foreign invaders? Or is it collective guilt for sending Westlife out into the wider world? In Surviving Ireland, acclaimed comedy writer Colm Tobin takes the listener by the hand for a satirical romp through modern Irish life.
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very fun
- By Rick on 06-12-19
By: Colm Tobin
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House of Trelawney
- By: Hannah Rothschild
- Narrated by: Corrie James
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The seat of the Trelawney family for over 700 years, Trelawney Castle was once the jewel of the Cornish coast. Each successive Earl spent with abandon, turning the house and grounds into a sprawling, extravagant palimpsest of wings, turrets, and follies. But as the centuries passed the Earls of Trelawney, their ambition dulled by generations of pampered living, failed to develop other skills.
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Really fun read
- By Ruthi on 04-12-20
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Auntie Poldi and the Sicilian Lions
- Auntie Poldi, Book 1
- By: Mario Giordano
- Narrated by: Matt Addis
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Auntie Poldi can think of no finer place to wait for death than Sicily. All she asks is a sea view, fine wine (and plenty of it), and her family close around. When death instead takes her handsome young friend Valentino - and under mysterious circumstances at that - Poldi will not take it lying down. Perhaps it's in her blood, but Auntie Poldi's hunting instincts have never felt more alive. Justice must be served - if it's the last thing she does....
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More fun and murder in Sicily!
- By MolllyT on 02-19-18
By: Mario Giordano
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Almost French
- By: Sarah Turnbull
- Narrated by: Caroline Lee
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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After backpacking her way around Europe journalist Sarah Turnbull is ready to embark on one last adventure before heading home to Sydney. A chance meeting with a charming Frenchman in Bucharest changes her travel plans forever. Acting on impulse, she agrees to visit Fredric in Paris for a week. Put a very French Frenchman together with a strong-willed Australian girl and the result is some spectacular - and often hilarious - cultural clashes.
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Almost Terrific
- By Elizabeth on 02-05-13
By: Sarah Turnbull