And Then They All Puked
Why I Should Never Have Been a Montauk Groupon Charter Boat Captain
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And Then They All Puked
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Narrated by:
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Jack Murphy
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By:
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Jeff Nichols
About this listen
Stricken with a lifelong obsession for offshore fishing, Jeff Nichols had been running part-time charters out of Montauk Harbor, once dubbed “the sport fishing capital of the world”, for 10 years with mediocre results. Most of the time, he just brought friends out and considered a trip successful if the customers didn’t stiff him, walk off with his rods and reels, or puke all over him. He bought cheap, remarkably unsafe boats, and so as to not piss off the other charter boat captains, named his operation Second Choice Charters. Then he started a Groupon campaign to boost his modest, if not pathetic, business.
The Groupon campaign worked amazingly well, and Jeff quickly became one of the busiest captains in Montauk, sailing twice a day all week long. But unbeknownst to his customers, he was ill-prepared and grossly underqualified for the job despite being a USCG-licensed captain, not to mention that his boats were filthy and not exactly seaworthy.
The results were horrific. In the notoriously dangerous waters off Montauk Point, Jeff’s escapades resulted in seven mayday calls and six documented Coast Guard rescues at sea (one including a helicopter). Even though his adventures are sometimes comical, he quickly realizes they are also cautionary tales. Not everyone should be a captain, and the “six-pack captain’s license” in the wrong hands can be a license to kill.
Jeff Nichols’ first book, Trainwreck: My Life as an Idoit, was made into a movie by Lionsgate Films under the title American Loser, and his second book, Caught, is an eye-opening account of the black market striped bass industry. Jeff has written over the years for Penthouse, the New York Post, Easthampton Star, and Dan's Papers. He now runs the Montauk marine septic boat and monitors Channel 73.
©2021 Jeff Nichols (P)2022 Jeff NicholsListeners also enjoyed...
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Was this narration sped up?
- By Linda Vanaman on 10-12-15
By: Linda Greenlaw
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Time Bandit
- Two Brothers, the Bering Sea, and One of the World's Deadliest Jobs
- By: Andy Hillstrand, Johnathan Hillstrand, Malcolm MacPherson
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 68
The Time Bandit is the fishing vessel that Andy and Johnathan Hillstrand use to hook the "deadliest catch", Alaskan king crabs and opilio crabs, in the Bering Sea, a dangerous body of water that can steal years from a fisherman's life. In pursuit of their daily catch, the brothers brave ice floes and heaving 60-foot waves, gusting winds of 80 miles per hour, unwieldy and unpredictable half-ton steel crab traps, and an injury rate of almost 100-percent.
There are fewer than 400 fishermen of this kind in the U.S., and early death is a common fate. But the Hillstrand brothers are drawn to the drama and adventure of life on the high seas - this is their world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Much Better Then I Had Expected
- By Andrew H. Hochheimer on 09-04-08
By: Andy Hillstrand, and others
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Captain Phil Harris
- The Legendary Crab Fisherman, Our Hero, Our Dad
- By: Josh Harris, Jake Harris, Steve Springer, and others
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 74
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Prior to his untimely death, in 2010, Captain Phil Harris was a star of Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch, the hit show that follows the exhilarating lives of Alaskan crab fishermen as they brave the vicious Bering Sea. He led his crew through hurricane-force winds and four-story-high waves, hauling in millions of pounds of crab and raking in millions of dollars. Phil worked hard, but he played even harder....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Almost cried again!
- By The Girls on 09-12-16
By: Josh Harris, and others
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Don't Give Up, Don't Give In
- Lessons from an Extraordinary Life
- By: Louis Zamperini, David Rensin
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 222
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 191
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 189
In Don't Give Up, Don’t Give In, Louis Zamperini offers never-before told tales that embody his simple, yet essential secrets of success: how his relationship with God, his ever-positive attitude, his constant pursuit of accomplishment - and a healthy dose of mischief - have helped him lead a long and fulfilled life, lessons we can all use to transform our own.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Followup to "Unbroken!"
- By Johnny on 05-13-15
By: Louis Zamperini, and others
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Just Add Water
- Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1
- By: Jinx Schwartz
- Narrated by: Beth Richmond
- Length: 10 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 176
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 152
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Story4 out of 5 stars 151
Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with attitude who is working on coming of age, a little late. Pushing forty and still single, Hetta is the epitome of the "B" word: bold, bossy, brassy, breezy, and brash. After leaving a lifelong swath of failed multinational affairs in her jet stream, it is no wonder Hetta prefers living with her dog, R.J. But old habits die hard, and trolling for triceps is Hetta's hobby....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Mixed bag. The dog dies.
- By Elisabeth Carey on 09-02-18
By: Jinx Schwartz
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Until the Sea Shall Free Them
- By: Robert Frump
- Narrated by: Luke Smith
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
The men on the SS Marine Electric sailed into a storm in February 1983 not knowing that they would make history - at a great cost in lives. Just three men survived the wreck of the Marine Electric off the shores of Virginia and they found that their struggle had just begun once they got back to shore. Blamed for the wreck, they fought back and broke a code of silence that had covered up sloppy ship inspections for decades and revealed the flaws in old World War II rust buckets that were still at sea long past their functional lifetime.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting, but not a great listen
- By Eric on 02-22-13
By: Robert Frump
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The Lobster Chronicles
- Life on a Very Small Island
- By: Linda Greenlaw
- Narrated by: Linda Greenlaw
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 43
After 17 years at sea, Linda Greenlaw figured it was time to take a break from her career as a swordboat captain. She felt she needed to return to Isle au Haut - a tiny island seven miles from the Maine coast with a population of 70 year-round residents, 30 of whom were her relatives. She would pursue a simpler life; move back in with her parents and get to know them again; become a professional lobsterman; and find a guy, build a house, have kids, and settle down. But all doesn't go as planned.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Was this narration sped up?
- By Linda Vanaman on 10-12-15
By: Linda Greenlaw
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Pirate Hunters
- Treasure, Obsession, and the Search for a Legendary Pirate Ship
- By: Robert Kurson
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,500
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,113
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,104
Finding and identifying a pirate ship is the hardest thing to do under the sea. But two men—John Chatterton and John Mattera—are willing to risk everything to find the Golden Fleece, the ship of the infamous pirate Joseph Bannister. At large during the Golden Age of Piracy in the seventeenth century, Bannister should have been immortalized in the lore of the sea—his exploits more notorious than Blackbeard’s, more daring than Kidd’s. But his story, and his ship, have been lost to time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pure Gold
- By Mel on 06-24-15
By: Robert Kurson
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Saltwater Cowboy
- The Rise and Fall of a Marijuana Empire
- By: Tim McBride, Ralph Berrier Jr.
- Narrated by: Wes Talbot
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Story5 out of 5 stars 97
In 1979, Wisconsin native Tim McBride hopped into his Mustang and headed south. He was 21, and his best friend had offered him a job working as a crab fisherman in Chokoloskee Island, a town of fewer than 500 people on Florida's Gulf Coast. Easy of disposition and eager to experience life at its richest, McBride jumped in with both feet. But this wasn't a typical fishing outfit.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great made even better by the fact it's non fictio
- By Porkchop on 01-11-18
By: Tim McBride, and others
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An Extravagant Life
- An Autobiography Incorporating Blue Water, Green Skipper
- By: Stuart Woods
- Narrated by: Tony Roberts
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
Over the last 40 years, Stuart Woods has written more than 90 novels of suspense and intrigue, beginning with the award-winning Chiefs. Featuring iconic crime-fighting and jet-setting leads, the plots are masterfully conceived and wonderfully escapist. What many readers and listeners don’t know is that Woods' very own life was filled with similar stories of adventure.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Stuart Wood’ autobiography
- By Tosh on 09-11-22
By: Stuart Woods
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Ghost Wave
- The Discovery of Cortes Bank and the Biggest Wave on Earth
- By: Chris Dixon
- Narrated by: Chris Dixon
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 98
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 88
Rising from the depths of the North Pacific lies a fabled island, now submerged just 15 feet below the surface of the ocean. Rumors and warnings about Cortes Bank abound, but among big wave surfers, this legendary rock is famous for one simple (and massive) reason: this is the home of the biggest rideable wave on the face of the earth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Surfing Classic of Monster Waves
- By Susie on 01-03-13
By: Chris Dixon
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Ten Hours Until Dawn
- The True Story of Heroism and Tragedy Aboard the Can Do
- By: Michael J. Tougias
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 96
During the height of the blizzard of 1978, the tanker Global Hope floundered on the shoals off the Massachusetts coast. The Coast Guard dispatched a patrol boat, but was soon in as much trouble as the tanker. Then pilot boat captain Frank Quirk, hearing of the Coast Guard's troubles on his radio, decided to act.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A riveting story
- By Christopher on 11-30-07
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Hound of the Sea
- Wild Man. Wild Waves. Wild Wisdom.
- By: Garrett McNamara, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Rudy Sanda
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 92
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
Big-wave surfer Garrett McNamara set the world record for the sport, surfing a 78-foot wave in Nazare, Portugal, in 2011, a record he smashed two years later at the same break. Propelled by the challenge and promise of bigger, more difficult waves, this adrenaline-fueled loner and polarizing figure travels the globe to ride the most dangerous swells the oceans have to offer, from calving glaciers to hurricane swells. But what motivates McNamara to go to such extremes - to risk everything for one thrilling ride?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Awesome Story and Narration.
- By oregonlife on 10-16-18
By: Garrett McNamara, and others
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Into the Raging Sea
- Thirty-Three Mariners, One Megastorm, and the Sinking of the El Faro
- By: Rachel Slade
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,097
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 972
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 968
On October 1, 2015, Hurricane Joaquin barreled into the Bermuda Triangle and swallowed the container ship El Faro whole, resulting in the worst American shipping disaster in 35 years. No one could fathom how a vessel equipped with satellite communications and a sophisticated navigation system could suddenly vanish - until now. Relying on hundreds of exclusive interviews with family members and maritime experts, as well as the words of the crew members themselves - whose conversations were captured by the ship’s data recorder - journalist Rachel Slade unravels the mystery.
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1 out of 5 stars
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This Book is Tragic for More Than Just its Story
- By John A. Tucker on 10-23-19
By: Rachel Slade
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Making Mavericks
- The Memoir of a Surfing Legend
- By: Frosty Hesson, Ian Spiegelman
- Narrated by: Gary Dikeos
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 64
When Richard “Frosty” Hesson was first approached by a young Jay Moriarty in 1990, the skinny kid with a sparkle in his eye only wanted one thing from the icon: His help in becoming a better surfer. Hesson, one of the first to conquer the huge waves off northern California known as Mavericks, recognized that the kid “had a vision.” Jay quickly demonstrated a resolve that reminded Frosty of his younger self, pursuing his goal with a seriousness far beyond his years. His attitude and work ethic earned Frosty’s respect and, eventually, his friendship.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Worst audiobook I’ve listened to - narrated by a pre-pubescent teenage robot
- By Nick on 04-26-18
By: Frosty Hesson, and others
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The Hungry Ocean
- By: Linda Greenlaw
- Narrated by: Linda Greenlaw
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 125
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 104
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 103
In his number-one best seller The Perfect Storm, Sebastian Junger describes Linda Greenlaw as "one of the best sea captains, period, on the East Coast." Now Greenlaw tells her own riveting story of a 30 day swordfishing voyage aboard one of the best-outfitted boats on the East Coast, complete with danger, humor, and characters so colorful they seem to have been ripped from the pages of Moby Dick. The excitement starts immediately, even before Greenlaw and her five-man crew leave the dock.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Fun Listen and Enjoyable Listen
- By S. Perry on 12-10-08
By: Linda Greenlaw
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Shadow Divers
- The True Adventure of Two Americans Who Risked Everything to Solve One of the Last Mysteries of World War II
- By: Robert Kurson
- Narrated by: Michael Prichard
- Length: 15 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,853
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,053
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Story5 out of 5 stars 3,050
In 1991, acting on a tip from a local fisherman, two scuba divers discovered a sunken German U-boat, complete with its crew of 60 men, not too far off the New Jersey coast. The divers, realizing the momentousness of their discovery, began probing the mystery. Over the next six years, they became expert and well-traveled researchers, taught themselves German, hunted for clues in Germany, and constructed theories corrective of the history books, all in an effort to identify this sunken U-boat and its crew.
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5 out of 5 stars
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GRIPPING!
- By Douglas on 07-03-04
By: Robert Kurson
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The Deep Blue Good-By
- A Travis McGee Novel, Book 1
- By: John D. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 4,882
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 4,331
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Story4 out of 5 stars 4,338
He's a self-described beach bum who won his houseboat in a card game. He's also a knight errant who's wary of credit cards, retirement benefits, political parties, mortgages, and television. He only works when his cash runs out, and his rule is simple: he'll help you find whatever was taken from you, as long as he can keep half.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Before the A-Team, there was Travis McGee
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-16
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Running with Raven
- The Amazing Story of One Man, His Passion, and the Community He Inspired
- By: Laura Lee Huttenbach
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 69
Raven Kraft has changed the lives of thousands who have run with him - many of them hundreds of times. From all 50 states and dozens of countries, across all age groups and backgrounds, they come to run with Raven, and in the process find friendship, inspiration - and a nickname. Among them is author Laura Lee "White Lightning" Huttenbach, who has logged over 1,000 miles of Raven Runs. Here she explores the stories of dozens of others about why they started running with Raven - and why they keep coming back.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful
- By ChargingDC on 02-14-24