A Woman Is No Man

A Novel

By: Etaf Rum

Narrated by: Ariana Delawari, Dahlia Salem, Susan Nezami

A New York Times Best Seller

A Read with Jenna Today Show Book Club Pick

A New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice • Washington Post 10 Books to Read in March • Marie Claire Best Women’s Fiction of 2019 • Washington Book Review Difficult-To-Put-Down Novel • The Millions Most Anticipated Books of 2019 • A USA Today Best Book of the Week • An Elaine Newton - Summer Reading List Critic’s Choice • A Girls Night In Book Club Pick

“I couldn't put it down. I was obsessed with figuring out the mystery of this family." (Jenna Bush Hager, Today Show Book Club Pick)

Three generations of Palestinian-American women living in Brooklyn are torn between individual desire and the strict mores of Arab culture in this powerful debut - a heart-wrenching story of love, intrigue, courage, and betrayal that will resonate with women from all backgrounds, giving voice to the silenced and agency to the oppressed.

"Where I come from, we’ve learned to silence ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence will save us. Where I come from, we keep these stories to ourselves. To tell them to the outside world is unheard of - dangerous, the ultimate shame.”

Palestine, 1990. Seventeen-year-old Isra prefers reading books to entertaining the suitors her father has chosen for her. Over the course of a week, the naive and dreamy girl finds herself quickly betrothed and married and is soon living in Brooklyn. There, Isra struggles to adapt to the expectations of her oppressive mother-in-law, Fareeda, and strange new husband, Adam, a pressure that intensifies as she begins to have children - four daughters instead of the sons Fareeda tells Isra she must bear.

Brooklyn, 2008. Eighteen-year-old Deya, Isra’s oldest daughter, must meet with potential husbands at her grandmother Fareeda’s insistence, though her only desire is to go to college. Deya can’t help but wonder if her options would have been different had her parents survived the car crash that killed them when Deya was only eight. But her grandmother is firm on the matter: The only way to secure a worthy future for Deya is through marriage to the right man.

But fate has a will of its own, and soon, Deya will find herself on an unexpected path that leads her to shocking truths about her family - knowledge that will force her to question everything she thought she knew about her parents, the past, and her own future.

Set in an America at once foreign to many and staggeringly close at hand, A Woman Is No Man is a story of culture and honor, secrets and betrayals, love and violence. It is an intimate glimpse into a controlling and closed cultural world and a universal tale about family and the ways silence and shame can destroy those we have sworn to protect.

©2019 Etaf Rum (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"Three female narrators work together in this Palestinian family epic.... Listeners will become enmeshed in the overlapping ambitions of these fascinating women." (AudioFile)

“Sometimes heroism is loud and dramatic. Other times, it is daring to listen to that quiet voice within and having the courage to follow it. In this story, we see inside the lives of three generations of Palestinian women living in America, struggling and suffering to hear that voice. Etaf Rum has done a great service by sharing these voices with us.” (Shilpi Somaya Gowda, New York Times best-selling author of Secret Daughter and The Golden Son)

“Garnering justified comparisons to Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns... Etaf Rum’s debut novel is a must-read about women mustering up the bravery to follow their inner voice.” (Refinery29)

Fantastic!

I could not stop listening to this book. It was heart wrenching and eye opening. I highly recommend this book to all women to read. How lucky we are to live our lives with so many freedoms. How horrible to think about women who do not share these freedoms. I will think about this book for a long time.

Find out what you don’t know

Eye opening view into a conservative Muslim immigrant woman’s experience of life in America. Shocking and disturbing - it begs the question, “What could I do to help and befriend such women and their daughters?”
A must read in this day and time.

Heartbreaking story

As a Palestinian-American, this story has touched me deep in my core because this is the reality within which I grew up. What’s interesting is I grew up not far from where the main character was born. Etaf, if you’re reading this (this is Moe) we definitely need to vent some more. Thank you for writing this book when no one else could.

Warning!

There should be a warning for anyone wanting to listen to this book. It contains horrific violence against women, which is taken as a matter of course. Undoubtedly women in the world live under such slave-like oppression, but it is hard to stomach! That said, most of the characters are likeable in some way, and interestingly understandable, even in their awful behavior toward each other.

The price of Isreali land

The cost of Isreali land and American dollars doom Palestinians. Shame! Women and families suffer.

Ending seemed unfinished

No closure at the end. The story was interesting though and well written. It was good to learn about another culture.

Interesting role of shame in control

I understand better now how some women raised w specific beliefs can come to have disdain for women, not want female children, and stay in abusive marriages. How the disdain and beliefs lead males to a sense of entitlement , which in turn leads them to be more abusive. Still don’t understand how the system of beliefs continues so strongly given that they make everyone so sad and angry, although shame is clearly a major tool to perpetuate it.

Highly Recommend.

Great story written brilliantly. Empowering & powerful. Glad I gave it a listen. Will definitely be purchasing the actual book itself.

OH MAN

this is a horrifying story of the lives of several palestinian women, related through marriage....centuries of ruling women with an iron fist. truly disturbing info that should be shared.

Oh, my heart.

This book is the kind that stays with you. I'm feeling all the feels right now. My heart hurts. I'm hopeful. This novel is art. It's beautifully written and narrated; such a powerful story that interweaves between the past and present leaving the reader guessing until the last page.