A Slap in the Face

Why Insults Hurt - And Why They Shouldn't

By: William B. Irvine

Narrated by: Johnny Heller

Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others?

In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them. He examines not just memorable zingers, such as Elizabeth Bowen's description of Aldous Huxley as "The stupid person's idea of a clever person", but subtle insults as well, such as when someone insults us by reporting the insulting things others have said about us: "I never read bad reviews about myself," wrote entertainer Oscar Levant, "because my best friends invariably tell me about them." Irvine also considers the role insults play in our society: They can be used to cement relations, as when a woman playfully teases her husband, or to enforce a social hierarchy, as when a boss publicly berates an employee.

He goes on to investigate the many ways society has tried to deal with insults - by adopting codes of politeness, for example, and outlawing hate speech - but concludes that the best way to deal with insults is to immunize ourselves against them: We need to transform ourselves in the manner recommended by Stoic philosophers. We should, more precisely, become insult pacifists, trying hard not to insult others and laughing off their attempts to insult us.

A rousing follow-up to A Guide to the Good Life, A Slap in the Face will interest anyone who's ever delivered an insult or felt the sting of one-in other words, everyone.

©2013 William B. Irvine (P)2018 Tantor

Interesting and helpful book.

This was a very interesting and thought provoking book. if more people follow the advice in this book, we would all live in a much happier world.

Kicks off great, slows down tremendously, and then picks up again and ends great

This is a really good and interesting book. You really just have to bare with chapters 2-3 though.

Great guidance

This book is a wonderful guide to dealing with the problem of insults! It is rational and charming!

amazing

irvine breaks down all the annoying things I saw people do, but didn't have a name for it or for the irritation it caused.

Interesting and useful

Had to hear this after Guide to the Good Life and wasn't disappointed. Although I agree with the other reviewer that it was slow in the middle (a bit repetitive, possibly obvious) but it certainly ended very well. Love the Stoic Philosophy! I want more!

Good read

An ok read for someone interested in the psychology of human behavior. This isn't a mind blowing book but still a good book.

imperative for the world we live in today.

a matter of fact way of dealing with insults. I like that the author implores the reader to think about what he is saying and to decide if it is relatable for them. I will listen again ever so often.

Excellent and in depth

While I thought this might be a re-hash of classic Stoic teaching, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I learned about insults and new ways to deal with them. I had never examined my relationship with them on this level

Read: guide to the good life instead...

This book is ok... especially if you feel prone to insults. But it pales in comparison to the value of the content of “ guide to the good life” or for a more concise version of the updated wisdom of the stoics... the short lectures on practical stoicism in the Sam Harris waking up meditation platform ( by the same author)

Mixed feelings

I have mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, I believe there are some ideas that can empower the reader to become less offended to insults, and therefore be better able to maintain tranquility. On the other hand, there are sections in the book where the author “blames the victim”, which is a concept I cannot get behind.