A Pair of Nuts on the Throne
Dragon and Chips, Book 3
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A Pair of Nuts on the Throne
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Narrated by:
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Graeme Hague
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By:
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Simon Haynes
About this listen
Ahh, the Old Kingdom.
Come and pet our angry, fire-breathing dragons. Take a dip with mighty sea serpents in our lovely warm seas. Play catch-the-arrow with merry elven warriors. Drink beer* with the dwarves.
For an unforgettable experience, the Old Kingdom is the ideal destination for your next holiday.**
Survival is optional, and highly unlikely.
*Similarity to actual beer not guaranteed.
**Travel insurance not available.
***This is what three asterisks look like when you put them in a row.
A Pair of Nuts on the Throne is book three in the Robot vs. Dragons trilogy. To maximize your enjoyment, this description is completely devoid of spoilers, or indeed, useful information of any kind.****
****Trust me, if you've read the first two books you know what you're getting, and if you haven't you're on the wrong product page.
©2018 Simon Haynes (P)2019 Simon HaynesListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 798
The first novel in Simon Scarrow's bestselling Roman series. It is 42 AD, and Quintus Licinius Cato has just arrived in Germany as a new recruit to the Second Legion, the toughest in the Roman army. If adjusting to the rigours of military life isn't difficult enough for the bookish young man, he also has to contend with the disgust of his colleagues when, because of his imperial connections, he is appointed a rank above them.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyable Roman Military Mystery
- By Marie on 10-25-13
By: Simon Scarrow
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Servant of the Crown
- Heir to the Crown, Book 1
- By: Paul J Bennett
- Narrated by: Greg Patmore
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
Tragedy tears Gerald's world apart, and only his unwavering loyalty to the Baron of Bodden saves him. After serving as a soldier for years, a single act of self-sacrifice thrusts his future into the world of politics. Cut off from all he knows, he becomes no more than a pawn to those in command. Banished with little more than the clothes on his back, he seeks a new purpose, for what is a warrior who has nothing left to fight for?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Well written and interesting
- By Kevin Potter on 05-24-19
By: Paul J Bennett
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The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 308
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 305
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
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For the Killing of Kings
- The Ring-Sworn Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Howard Andrew Jones
- Narrated by: Lori Prince
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 37
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
Their peace was a fragile thing, but it had endured for seven years, mostly because the people of Darassus and the king of the Naor hordes believed his doom was foretold upon the edge of the great sword hung in the hall of champions. Unruly Naor clans might raid across the border, but the king himself would never lead his people to war so long as the blade remained in the hands of his enemies. But when squire Elenai’s aging uncovers evidence that the sword in their hall is a forgery, she’s forced to flee Darassus for her life, her only ally the reckless, disillusioned Kyrkenall.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Story!
- By Aurora McMillian on 05-15-19
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A Kingdom Besieged
- Book One of the Chaoswar Saga
- By: Raymond E. Feist
- Narrated by: John Meagher
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 491
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 431
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 429
After nearly 30 years and more than two dozen novels, Raymond E. Feist's Riftwar Cycle has become one of the most iconic, beloved, and enduring sagas in modern fantasy. The Riftwars were epic battles between Good and Evil whose ramifications have echoed through generations. The latest entry in the epic, A Kingdom Besieged, ushers in the most fearsome threat the Kingdom has yet faced - the Chaoswar - a magic apocalypse with cataclysmic results.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Job Opening: New Narrator Needed
- By Rob G. on 02-17-13
By: Raymond E. Feist
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The Henchmen Chronicles Collection, Books 1-5
- By: Craig Halloran
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese
- Length: 39 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 190
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 170
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 170
Contains the complete Henchmen Chronicles series.
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3 out of 5 stars
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for a credit, why not
- By Daniel on 06-24-23
By: Craig Halloran
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The First Book of Swords
- By: Fred Saberhagen
- Narrated by: Derek Perkins
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 933
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 832
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Story4 out of 5 stars 831
For a game, the gods have given the world 12 Swords of Power so that they might be amused as the nations battle for their possession. But Vulcan the Smith has had his own little joke: the Swords can kill the gods themselves. What started out as Divine Jest has become all too serious as the gods fight to recover the Swords, and mortals discover that the mantle of power is more delicious and more terrible than anything they could have imagined.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One Of My Very Highest Recommendations!
- By Michael on 02-25-13
By: Fred Saberhagen
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Rogues of Magic: The Complete Trilogy
- Rogues of Magic, Books 1-3
- By: J.T. Williams
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 29 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 842
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 750
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Story4 out of 5 stars 747
Sviska is a man of the shadows, an assassin without any one place to call his own. But in the Far North, he discovers a secret. Magic, long thought lost to the world, is alive. The genocide to destroy every elf, wizard, and sacred being of old is not yet complete. Sviska's masters work the strings of the world and he has been sent for a task he does not even fully understand yet. When at last he feels he has what he has always wanted, darkness falls upon the world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Series: In depth backstory
- By Kdg on 05-01-20
By: J.T. Williams
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The Congruent Apprentice
- The Congruent Mage, Book 1
- By: Dave Schroeder
- Narrated by: Peter Kenny
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 771
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 703
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 698
Young wizards coming of age in a time of war... Will they be ready? Eynon was excited to leave his village and set off on his wander year. He’d turned sixteen today, and hoped for at least a few adventures. At high noon, he arrived a crossroads and saw a shimmer of silver in the mud. It was a thin and dirty oval, about the size of his palm. He washed it with squirts of water from his goatskin, then marveled at what was revealed.
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4 out of 5 stars
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cliff hangers
- By Amazon Customer on 03-19-18
By: Dave Schroeder
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The Frozen Flame: Publisher's Pack
- The Frozen Flame, Books 1-2
- By: Paul J. Bennett
- Narrated by: Tim Bruce
- Length: 24 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 701
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 645
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 644
Magic is the key...but will it save them, or consume them? For Natalia, there is no choice. Trained as a battle mage, she has the potential to be the most powerful spellcaster the family has ever produced. Yet their price is too high. Meanwhile, Athgar's life is about to change forever. On the day his village is burned to the ground, his magical potential is released by the very fire that nearly consumed him. He is driven by revenge until he learns he may not be the only survivor.
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2 out of 5 stars
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this book a a recurring issue thats very annoying
- By LitRPG Reader on 05-27-22
By: Paul J. Bennett
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Crimes Against Magic
- The Hellequin Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Steve McHugh
- Narrated by: James Langton
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,636
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,392
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,393
How do you keep the people you care about safe from enemies you can’t remember? Ten years ago, Nate Garrett awoke on a cold warehouse floor with no memory of his past and the only clues to his identity were a piece of paper with his name on it and a propensity toward magic. Now he’s a powerful sorcerer and a successful thief for hire, but it turns out that those who stole his memories aren’t done with him yet. When they cause a job to go bad, threatening a sixteen-year-old girl, Nate swears to protect her.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Testosterone IV Drip
- By V on 08-06-14
By: Steve McHugh
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The Hammer and the Cross
- By: Harry Harrison
- Narrated by: Julian Elfer
- Length: 16 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 39
865 A.D. Warring kings rule over the British Isles, but the Church rules over the kings, threatening all who oppose them with damnation. Only the dreaded Vikings of Scandinavia do not fear the priests. Shef, the bastard son of a Norse raider and a captive English lady, is torn by divided loyalties and driven by strange visions that seem to come from Odin himself. A smith and warrior, he alone dares to imagine new weapons and tactics with which to carve out a kingdom.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't finish it
- By Susan on 07-22-16
By: Harry Harrison
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Prodigy of Thunder
- Chronicles of Anna Atticus Stone, Book 1
- By: Sever Bronny
- Narrated by: Moira Quirk
- Length: 24 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 284
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 262
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Story5 out of 5 stars 262
The youngest warlock to ever wield lightning, 14-year-old Anna Atticus Stone dreams of attending the prestigious Academy of Arcane Arts. Except her life is a mess. She's friendless, her older sister keeps knocking her teeth out, and her parents constantly argue.
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4 out of 5 stars
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On the fence
- By Tracey M. Bare on 03-05-22
By: Sever Bronny
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Fate of the Fallen
- By: Kel Kade
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,007
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 3,664
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,653
Everyone loves Mathias. Naturally, when he discovers it’s his destiny to save the world, he dives in headfirst, pulling his best friend, Aaslo, along for the ride. However, saving the world isn’t as easy, or exciting, as it sounds in the stories. The going gets rough, and folks start to believe their best chance for survival is to surrender to the forces of evil, which isn’t how the prophecy goes. At all. As the list of allies grows thin and the friends find themselves staring death in the face, they must decide how to become the heroes they were destined to be.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting but no KDT
- By Jonathan on 03-11-20
By: Kel Kade
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The Last Swordsman
- The Last Swordsman, Book 1
- By: Benjamin Corman
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4 out of 5 stars 96
Nikolis’ parents are dead - murdered before his eyes. What’s worse, they were traitors to the crown. At least that’s what he hears the village folk saying moments before he is whisked away to the castle of Highkeep. There he finds himself before the aged King Alginor, a man brought to a boil by his very presence.
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1 out of 5 stars
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This book is horrible
- By Amazon Customer on 09-10-20
By: Benjamin Corman
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The Dagger of Trust
- By: Chris Willrich
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 43
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
Gideon Gull leads a double life: one as a talented young bard at the Rhapsodic College, the other as a student of the Shadow School, where Taldor's infamous lion blades are trained to be master spies and assassins. When a magical fog starts turning ordinary people into murderous mobs along the border between Taldor and Gideon's home nation of Andoran, it's up to him and a crew of daring performers to solve the mystery before both nations fall to madness and slaughter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Bard Team 6
- By Kojo on 06-12-24
By: Chris Willrich
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Crispin, at the Edge of the World
- By: Avi
- Narrated by: Ron Keith
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 114
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 95
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 96
The young orphan Crispin and his gentle, red-bearded protector Bear continue their adventures in 14th-century England. Crispin and Bear are finally free to live their lives as they choose. But they soon find that they are being hunted by members of a secret society who believe Bear is a spy. When Bear is severely wounded, Crispin must make some tough decisions, such as deciding who else to trust to help them escape their pursuers. The two make a perilous journey to Brittany - surely the edge of the world!
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good but Depressing
- By Carl on 09-08-09
By: Avi