A Girl's Guide to Vampires

By: Katie MacAlister

Narrated by: Karen White

Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:

• Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
• Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
• No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
• Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
• Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

©2003 Marthe Arends (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

I'm surprised I enjoyed it.

The book was surprisingly steamy, I really enjoyed it. Usually i don't like these books but I really liked it. I even laughed.

So funny and romantic

Chapter 1 had me roaring, consistently into Chapter 2. I’m so glad someone else has the same sense of humor & gets those jokes other people look at me like I’m crazy.
I’ve read hotter, sexier & more descriptive Vampire romances but this is a true, romance & good comedy thrown in for great measure.
I LOVED IT!

Chevelle

every time I put it down I wanted to pick it back up. narrator was good.

Cute idea, but where's the vampire?

Would you recommend A Girl's Guide to Vampires to your friends? Why or why not?

No. The story is called A Girl's Guide to Vampires, but there is very little girl/vampire interaction. The only redeeming quality about this story was the sex.

Would you listen to another book narrated by Karen White?

As it turned out, I did. I don't really love her as a narrator.

Was A Girl's Guide to Vampires worth the listening time?

It helped the bumper to bumper traffic stress, but otherwise it was not the best few hours of my time.

THIS is Not the Katie MacAlister we know!!!

I first started listening to Ms MacAlister with the "Dragon Series". I thirsted for each book as it came out. Always pleased with the product, I came back time and again for more. Those series (Green, Silver, Light, Black, etc.) were witty in dialogue, well characterized in number of distinct personalities, broad in storyline and worthy of the public acclaim that they achieved.

Then, having no more in that series to read, I started with some of her "other" Vampire books only a few of which were carried by Audible (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Fang, etc.) and found the surprisingly good as well.

When these 3 books came out in 2013, I was so eager to feed my habit that I did not even listen to a sample of the books, I just purchased them. These books, apparently all in the "Dark Ones" series (but neither labeled nor numbered that way except for this first book) are little more than formulaic with flat characters, shabby storylines and a blind of overly descriptive sex scenes that neither arouse nor deceive the listener into believing that this is up to the previous Ms MacAlister's writings. If these were her first works, I could allow that, as a beginner, she could in time grow to be the KM we all know. However, that is not the case and it appears that these works are merely trying to "cash in" on her previous legacy.

Needless to say I will not be following this series.

Sadly doesn't quite hold up

I enjoy a lot of Katie McAlister's books and recently finished the Audio versions of her Aisling Grey series. I figured the Dark Ones would be fun next, as I like that series as well.

Unfortunately, the audio performance didn't just detract from the book, it made it very frustrating and unpleasant to listen to. I didn't mind the performer's voices, but I minded very much that anyone who was not American spoke... very... broken... sentences. Even people stated as having an English accent, or the fact that the area they're visiting has people from all over the world visiting. As most of the main characters including both of the love interests are not from the US, it means even during hot and heavy scenes you listen to a character who sounds like Sesame Street's Count and the Swedish Chef had a kid.

Even speeding up the narration didn't help. There is no real characterization of voices -- instead of a voice, they just get stuck with broken, plodding English. Nevermind the main characters are all fluent in English and in text have actual personalities. This was incredibly disappointing, because it's constant, so any of the feelings I had for sections of the book (ridiculous, funny, romantic, sad) are gone and replaced with pure annoyance. I'm sad to lose all of the characters to this.

I forgot how much casual racism was in this book (a lot of g*psy and similar pejoratives), which also led to it not standing up well to nostalgia.

I will re-read this book but not re-listen to it; the whole thing feels whitewashed to the point of no one having any personality at all, which is a shame.

I won't be listening to more in this series if they have the same performer -- most take place in Europe, and I can't listen to every single line of dialogue coming like pulling teeth, word by word, simply because the speaker isn't American. Oof.

A Girl's Guide to Murder

The cover of the book is misleading.You THINK you will be reading a book on a"Vampires" romance but evidently that was just to tease you into getting the book with the"actual"Vampire in it(Christian Dante).Still,was a great story & the narrator did a great job doing the character's voices & giving them Life BUT it seemed to get hokey there towards the ending & it was dissapointing to me to find out that Raphiel's secret was that he was basically a spy & not a Vampire or some other paranormal creature.I kept hoping something odd would surface about him but it never did.But like I said,still a fun read,not what I expected though.

Ugh others were right

The book had some fun side characters; however, the other reviewers who dislike this heroine were correct. She is frustratingly dumb and annoying with the emotional iq of a rutabaga.

Witty, fun and entertaining

Would you consider the audio edition of A Girl's Guide to Vampires to be better than the print version?

I love to read - but it is a pleasure to listen to a story that has a good plot, romance, intrigue and makes you laugh out loud.

Who was your favorite character and why?

CJ Dante! Handsome 900 year old dark one with a conscious first and Roxy, the life long best friend who tells it like it is!

Which scene was your favorite?

When Joy and Rafael realize he didn't enter her mind or visit her early I the evening.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Time weighs heavy for the Dark One....and then... beloved.

Fun read

I was in the mood for something light and funny. This one hit the spot!