12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action
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12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
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Narrated by:
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Matthew Boston
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By:
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Allen Berger PhD
About this listen
Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness.
To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy.
In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the 12 most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Prodependence
- Moving Beyond Codependency
- By: Robert Weiss
- Narrated by: Corey Gagne
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 105
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 95
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 93
In Prodependence, Weiss presents a research-based social and psychological understanding of human interdependence, accepting and even celebrating human interdependency in ways that are healthy and life-affirming for each person.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Great content but horrible voice
- By Amazon Customer on 03-23-21
By: Robert Weiss
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 201
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 169
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 169
When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
-
Addict in the House
- A No-Nonsense Family Guide Through Addiction and Recovery
- By: Robin Barnett EdD LCSW, Darren Kavinoky - foreword
- Narrated by: Denice Stradling
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 62
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
If you’re the family member of an addict, you may feel confused, guilty, and scared of doing the wrong thing. And when you don’t know how to help, you may find yourself in a codependent role. Addict in the House offers a pragmatic, step-by-step guide to dealing with a loved one’s addiction, from accepting the reality of the disease to surviving what may be repeated cycles of recovery and relapse. You’ll learn how to encourage your addicted loved one to get help without forcing it and finally find the strength to let go of codependence.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
was okay.
- By Michelle on 05-02-19
By: Robin Barnett EdD LCSW, and others
-
The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 146
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 114
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 114
You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
-
Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 75
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 67
Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
-
Stop Hurting the Woman You Love
- Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior
- By: Charlie Donaldson MA, Randy Flood MA, Elaine Eldridge PhD
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 58
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 48
End the cycle of abuse-for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships....
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Saved us from a divorce!
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-21
By: Charlie Donaldson MA, and others
-
Conquering Shame and Codependency
- 8 Steps to Freeing the True You
- By: Darlene Lancer
- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 36
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
-
How to Be an Adult in Relationships
- The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
- By: David Richo
- Narrated by: David Richo
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 734
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 607
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 604
"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Missing text
- By Annah Nimouse on 07-26-19
By: David Richo
-
The Good Karma Divorce
- Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life
- By: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Narrated by: Judge Michele F. Lowrance
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 57
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 37
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 36
The average divorce takes two years with a median cost of $30,000. Yet the true cost of divorce is more than time or money; it is the legacy of the decisions made during the process. No matter how long two people have been married, whether there are children or not, divorce often leads to bad choices that can forever alter a family's life. But what if you could reverse the stereotype and move regret-free through this process?
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for the great advice!
- By Tom Clemente on 11-09-16
-
Rewire
- Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior
- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,560
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,311
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,306
We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
-
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 570
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 478
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 474
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Asinine
- By Amazon Customer on 07-14-20
-
The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 334
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 284
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 282
We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
-
Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,463
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,234
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,229
When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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5 out of 5 stars
-
encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
-
Get out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior
- By: Philip Goldberg, Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: Mark Goulston
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 807
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 699
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 688
Practical, proven self-help steps show how to transform 40 common self-defeating behaviors, including procrastination, envy, obsession, anger, self-pity, compulsion, neediness, guilt, rebellion, inaction, and more.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Nothing new
- By MsJulyswimwear on 07-25-20
By: Philip Goldberg, and others
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While his wife and two-year-old daughter watched TV in the living room, David Poses was in the kitchen, measuring the distance from his index finger to his armpit. He needed to be sure he could pull the trigger with a shotgun barrel in his mouth. Twenty-six inches. Thirty-two years old. More than a decade in a double life fueled by depression and heroin.
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5 out of 5 stars
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David’s story is invaluable
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Celebrate Recovery 365 Daily Devotional
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3 out of 5 stars
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David’s story is invaluable
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Very Enjoyable
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Push Off from Here
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In Push Off from Here, McKowen delves deeply into each of her nine points: what they mean, how they work, and how every person can live them. She addresses topics such as the correlation between trauma and addiction, the importance of radical honesty, letting go of the illusion of control, the value of community, a reminder that healing is a continual process, and that the process is a gift. Whether you’re just starting out or have been sober for decades, McKowen instructs us to be kind to ourselves: Change is messy and progress is rarely linear, but we can always push off from here.
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5 out of 5 stars
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As a "Quit Lit" connoisseur, this is a new fave!
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Meth 101
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 21
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18
Newly updated in March 2022, this audiobook recognizes that despite laws and ad campaigns, people still use meth because it feels good. Ignorance and misplaced shame are by far the biggest factors that cause the meth user harm, thereby creating social and financial costs to communities everywhere. This audiobook is not intended to induce anybody to break laws to use meth. It is a recognition that numbers of people already use and so ends ignorance with 32 tips for safer use to make using meth as harm-free as possible.
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valuable information
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How to Breathe While Suffocating
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 31
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How to Breathe While Suffocating is your antidote to the all-too-common tendency to surrender, giving up on your life's ambitions. You don't have to give up! For anyone who has gotten caught in the trap of "I can't do it," this book reminds you that you are enough, you possess value, and your unique ability to engage with the world can and will get you to where you want to be.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Breathe
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The Mindful Path to Addiction Recovery
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 193
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Here, Dr. Lawrence Peltz, who has worked as an addiction psychiatrist for more than two decades, draws from his clinical experience and on the techniques of mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) to explain the fundamental dynamics of addiction and the stages of the recovery process, and also gives us specific mindfulness exercises to support recovery.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The best 12 step mindfulness book out there!
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Beautiful Boy
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David Sheff's story is a first: a teenager's addiction from the parent's point of view, a real-time chronicle of the shocking descent into substance abuse and the gradual emergence into hope.
Before meth, Sheff's son, Nic, was a varsity athlete, honor student, and award-winning journalist. After meth, he was a trembling wraith who stole money from his eight-year-old brother and lived on the streets. With haunting candor, Sheff traces the first warning signs, the attempts at rehabilitation, and, at last, the way past addiction. He shows us that, whatever an addict's fate, the rest of the family must care for one another, too, lest they become addicted to addiction.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Been There
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The Biology of Desire
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 420
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 412
The psychiatric establishment and rehab industry in the Western world have branded addiction a brain disease based on evidence that brains change with drug use. But in The Biology of Desire, cognitive neuroscientist and former addict Marc Lewis makes a convincing case that addiction is not a disease and shows why the disease model has become an obstacle to healing. Lewis reveals addiction as an unintended consequence of the brain doing what it's supposed to do - seek pleasure and relief - in a world that's not cooperating.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An important addition to understanding addiction.
- By Jeff M on 02-28-16
By: Marc Lewis PhD
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High Achiever
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- By: Tiffany Jenkins
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 11,616
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Story5 out of 5 stars 11,567
With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
- By Jim Thompson on 10-16-19
By: Tiffany Jenkins
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Everything Is Horrible and Wonderful
- A Tragicomic Memoir of Genius, Heroin, Love and Loss
- By: Stephanie Wittels Wachs
- Narrated by: Stephanie Wittels Wachs
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 661
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 596
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 594
One phone call. That's all it took to change Stephanie Wittels Wachs's life forever.... Her younger brother Harris, a star in the comedy world known for his work on shows like Parks and Recreation, had died of a heroin overdose. How do you make sense of such a tragic end to a life of so much hilarious brilliance? In beautiful, unsentimental, and surprisingly funny prose, Stephanie Wittels Wachs alternates between her brother's struggle with addiction, which she learned about three days before her wedding, and the first year after his death, in all its emotional devastation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wow. This is the truest story I’ve read of the baffling heartbreak that is addiction robbing a close family of a genius...
- By A. S. on 03-31-18
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Healing Your Emotional Self
- A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame
- By: Beverly Engel
- Narrated by: Vanessa Hart
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story5 out of 5 stars 49
Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engle offers her highly effective Mirror Therapy program to help you reject the distorted images your parents either intentionally or unintentionally projected onto you.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
- By celebchatter on 05-11-23
By: Beverly Engel
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Woman of Substances
- The savage seduction of drugs and alcohol, and the art of walking away
- By: Jenny Valentish
- Narrated by: Imogen Wilde
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 7
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7
Journalist Jenny Valentish investigates the female experience of drugs and alcohol, using her own story to light the way. Mining the expertise of leading researchers, she explores the early predictors of addiction, such as childhood trauma and temperament, and teenage impulsivity. Drawing on neuroscience, she explains why other self-destructive behaviours - such as eating disorders and high-risk sex - are interchangeable with substance use.
By: Jenny Valentish
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Recovery - the Sacred Art
- The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice
- By: Rami Shapiro, Joan Borysenko PhD
- Narrated by: Barry Abrams
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 52
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 46
In this hope-filled approach to spiritual and personal growth, the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are uniquely interpreted to speak to everyone seeking a freer and more God-centered life. This special rendering makes them relevant to those suffering from specific addictions - alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, sex, shopping - as well as the general addictions we wrestle with daily, such as anger, greed, and selfishness.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Excellent book, poor mechanic reading
- By Kaye Books on 10-20-17
By: Rami Shapiro, and others
What listeners say about 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Krystal M.
- 05-01-21
informative
loved it makes a lot of sense... all the points the author makes. loved it so much!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 01-17-21
Great useful book
An excellent book which is helping me in my recovery. Great companion to regular AA meeting participation.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- dsutts2020
- 07-23-24
A real journey to self discovery
I want to say thank you, thank you you’re booked help me so much understand the 12 steps and the path to recovery. You break it down and help me understand recovery so much. It was such journey to self discovery and help me believe it’s possible.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tabitha Thornhill
- 10-25-24
Hilarious and True...the humor helps us to earnestly reflect inward. Very powerful. Thank you!
WORTH EVERY SECOND
A hilarious and poignant recovery wake up call! As a scholar and Christian Theology graduate I found this secular book and non Christian reference added levity with stark reminders for those struggling to look inward and reflect on current thoughts, decisions, and actions. Hilarious and powerful. Thank you!
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Jana E
- 09-20-22
Just the 12 steps
Poor narration that sounds robotic and just an overview in “scientific” terms of the 12 steps.
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