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うつ病九段 プロ棋士が将棋を失くした一年間
- Narrated by: 林 重吾
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
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うつ病九段 プロ棋士が将棋を失くした一年間
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Publisher's summary
「ふざけんな、ふざけんな、みんないい思いしやがって」
藤井聡太ブームに沸く将棋界。そのウラで羽生世代の棋士が脳の病と闘っていた。
その発症から回復までを大胆に綴った心揺さぶる手記。
うつ病の頭には死のイメージが駆け巡るのだ。
うつ病の朝の辛さは筆舌に尽くしがたい。
あなたが考えている最高にどんよりした気分の十倍と思っていいだろう。
まず、ベッドから起きあがるのに最短でも十分はかかる。
ひどい時には三十分。その間、体全体が重く、だるく、頭の中は真っ暗である。
仕方がないのでソファーに横になるが、もう眠ることはできない。
ただじっと横になっているだけである。
頭の中には、人間が考える最も暗いこと、そう、死のイメージが駆け巡る。 私の場合、高い所から飛び降りるとか、電車に飛び込むなどのイメージがよく浮かんだ。
つまるところ、うつ病とは死にたがる病気であるという。
まさにその通りであった。（本文より）
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