What is the deal with Vampires? They're out here all moody, milky pale and trying to avoid any natural light. It's like the front row at a My Chemical Romance concert! And what is it with all this stuff about sucking people dry just to sustain themselves? Where'd they learn that from, my ex-wife?! And hey, I know they've got all these strange weaknesses, but if you ask me, there's lotsa worse ways to go than some garlic and a steak to the heart! Anyway, this episode's all about the best movie vampires.

And now, the Sinners' prayer:

Some films, if rated an eleven, hallowed be thy name; will this be one? Wouldn't that be fun, if we all gave this movie an eleven? Give us today not too wide a spread; and Frank give us our Marcuses, as we give Frank those who Marcus against us; and lead us not into Tom-tation, but deliver us more podcasts. For the pal-dom, the pal-der, and the glor-pal are yours, Pal and forever. Pal-men.

The Pals... they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition, and they've got talent, as well as just beauty. I'm so sick of people saying that podcasting is all the Pals are fit for. I'm so sick of it! But we're so lonely... So join us, won't you, and help alleviate some of our pod-based blues in listening to this week's episode of Throw in the Pal, discussing Greta Gerwig's 2019 adaptation of Little Women.

A Minecraft Movie, y'say? Next they'll be doing a Fortnite Feature or a Roblox Reel! And why stop there?! There could even be a THIRD THING!

Anyway, enjoy the episode.

Now the story of a wealthy man who lost everything, and then the same man who had no choice but to let his boxing career flame out so that he could open up a sleazy nightclub in order to perform atrocious standup comedy and more efficiently make out with teenagers. It's a-Raging Bull, innit?

Viewing things as a young child

Held a real "je ne sais quoi"

So we decided to go buckwild

Hi there, it's the monkey who writes the blurbs for Throw in the Pal here! Eagle-eyed viewers will recognise that the above is an acrostic poem, using the acronym VHS as its basis, as this Short 'n Sweet is all about VHS classics from the Pals' childhoods. Some real indulgent shit, I'd say, but whadda I know: I'm just a monkey, ooh ooh, ah ah, you get it. Anyway, students of arithmetic will also note that there are only three letters in VHS, and thus three lines is all I'm morally permitted to write, lest the very laws of poetry be forsaken all in the name of a podcast minisode. Perish the thought. Finally, please consider listening to this podcast and telling your friends so that there can be a fomentation of some online outrage and a possible liberation for me, the Blurb Monkey, from my hellish fate. I ever so miss the sun.

Video games... What are video games? Are they movies you play, with missions and aims?Is it all interactive, do you pick the events?Do you have to pay more, in dollars and cents?Is there easy and hard as a mode to select?Are there easter eggs hidden for you to detect?If I eat a burrito and hold in a fart,Then unleash it on canvas, would you call it art?"How's that related?" you ask with derision,Life's about swings, not always precision.Anyway, Pals, this episode's truly'bout Video Games that were made into moviesSo sit down or stand up and listen as weTalk a lot and say, like, some real funny shit.

People keep writing in and asking the Pals when we're going to start talking more about current events. No, that's not 'currant' as in the berry, so calm down you juice-guzzling sickos. We mean current as in 'currency', the tokens that line our credit and draw us together in the spending spree of modern stuff. Coins and cash and doo-hickeys of all variety, from yen to pounds to the almighty dollary-doo itself. Though it's not the tender itself we're so wowed by here at Pal Enterprises. No no no! In our humble opinion, it's the very nomenclature used to denote money that makes our change pockets jingle, and none can compare to the Spaniards when it comes to their heralded word for moolah: dinero. So this episode, we spend the entire-- [the world's largest vaudeville hook apparates and yanks this bit off the stage, as a nebbish man in a tweed suit appears, reading from cue cards]

We apologise for the misunderstanding. Please enjoy this week's Short n' Sweet on the performances of Robert De Niro.