There's No Shame in Our Game

Shame plays off our natural hardwiring for connection. It has us mistakenly believe our flaws make us undeserving of acceptance and belonging, therefore driving us to feel not just alone, but helplessly isolated. And when we feel helpless, we often become reactive, seeking any kind of reprieve from such pain. We end up acting out in desperate ways that don’t feel like the real us. Ways that can add fuel to the shame fire. Simply put, when we feel shame, we feel awful. The good news? Most research suggests that shame is a universal experience (though different things feel shameful to different people). In other words, we’re ironically kind of all together in our feelings of unworthiness and fear of disconnection.

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