Adam Nisenson, also known as The Betrayal Shrink, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Together with Dr. Rob he highlights the need for betrayed men to have support and healing just as much as women do. He shares his own healing journey, the support that he offers men who have been betrayed, and why he believes that his own betrayal experience was actually worth it.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:25] The depth of Adam’s betrayal as a man.

[6:20] Adam recalls his feelings on D-Day.

[8:52] The importance of having a safe, supportive place to grieve.

[9:50] Rediscovering self-worth when reconciling or separating.

[13:53] Projecting unhealthy anger on others gives them the power.

[17:55] Navigating betrayal from a child’s perspective.

[20:02] Adam’s decision to support other betrayed men.

[22:45] Key differences between betrayed men and women.

[26:44] Is it just sex? Or is it love?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Adam Nisenson

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Having a safe, healthy place to grieve and be seen was a game-changer for me.”
• “Projecting unhealthy anger on others gives them the power.”
• “I wanted to make therapy cool for men.”
• “Emotional betrayal is just as painful as physical betrayal, and they both destroy trust.”
• “It was through my pain that I discovered who I really was.”

Erin Snow is the Clinical Director at Seeking Integrity, CSAT, and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She and Dr. Rob discuss a week-by-week overview of residential treatment, the key points of trauma work and treatment, and the hope that she regularly sees as addicts encounter consequences, confront early trauma, and what it really takes to heal individuals and their loved ones from addiction.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:08] Erin’s journey toward Seeking Integrity.

[4:50] The healing at Seeking Integrity focuses on much more than sex addiction.

[7:41] Key points of trauma work and treatment.

[12:15] Why is my partner connecting to their therapist but not me?

[13:43] A week-by-week overview of residential treatment.

[20:29] Attachment and connection are not what a spouse is thinking about.

[26:28] Why isn’t our relationship enough to make him change?

[31:00] What is it like for Erin being a woman working with addict men?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Erin Snow

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “I can see an opportunity for my clients to find meaning in living again.”
• “In trauma work, you can lose yourself in the why and never move to the place of how to move on from this.”
• “Healing happens the way it's supposed to as long as you’re doing the next right thing.”

Dr. Rob and Dr. Erika Schwartz continue their discussion about the connection between intimacy and sex. She highlights the role of hormones in sex addiction and betrayal, addresses the myths of monogamy, and counters the dangerous statement that too many betraying partners tell themselves, because what you don’t know actually will hurt you, will hurt your partner, and will hurt everyone around you.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:22] Coming to peace with the trauma that happens in betrayal.

[4:25] Who were you before you came into this relationship?

[6:02] The power of opening up when overcoming betrayal trauma.

[9:08] The role of hormones in sex addiction and betrayal.

[11:10] What does monogamy look like in humans?

[14:28] The deeper hurt that comes when love appears while cheating.

[19:15] What you don’t know won’t hurt you, or will it?

[21:20] Connect with Dr. Erika Schwartz.

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Dr. Geoff Goodman

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Dr. Erika Schwartz

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “If humans are monogamous, why are we all having affairs? It’s because monogamy is a choice.”
• “Sexuality and intimacy are not the same. That’s when we start behaving differently.”
• “Love is the core of everything. If it’s love, move out of the way.”
• “What you don’t know will hurt me, will hurt you, and will hurt everyone around you.”