Polly Young-Eisendrath: Why Conflict is Necessary

Most of us dislike or even fear conflict with loved ones. Without it, however, you won't achieve sustained intimacy with your partner.

This week, Andrew talks to writer, psychologist and Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath, the author of Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path. They explore the challenges and possibilities of building partnerships based on respect, freedom and real dialogue.

Andrew and Polly discuss:

• What “real dialogue” means—and how to practice mindful curiosity with your partner.
• How and why to stop avoiding conflict with your partner.
• Projective identification in relationships.
• What to do if you’re feeling defeated or distant in your relationship.

Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., is the founder of the Center for Real Dialogue in Vermont and the author of 19 books. Her work combines psychoanalytic thinking, mindfulness, and Buddhism to illuminate the inner work required to love with both strength and humility. She is also the host of the popular podcasts Enemies: From War to Wisdom and Waking Up is Not Enough: Flourishing in the Human Space.

If You’re Looking for More…

You can subscribe to The Meaningful Life (via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Podcasts) and hear a bonus mini-episode every week. Or you can join our Supporters Club on Patreon to also access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: Join here

This week, supporters will hear: ⭐ The Benefits of a Conversation Between the Spiritual and Psychological ⭐ Three Things Polly Young-Eisendrath Knows to Be True ⭐️AND access to all our previous bonus content—a rich archive of insight and inspiration

Follow Up

Attend Andrew's new men's retreat, Reconnect With Yourself, this autumn in the Brandenberg countryside near Berlin: Learn more here

Read Polly Young-Eisendrath’s book Love Between Equals: Relationship as a Spiritual Path

Visit Polly Young-Eisendrath’s website

Listen to Polly Young-Eisendrath’s podcasts:

• ENEMIES: From War to Wisdom
• Waking Up is Not Enough: Flourishing in the Human Space

Follow Polly Young-Eisendrath on Facebook, Instagram and X/Twitter.

Get Andrew’s free guide to difficult conversations with your partner: How to Tell Your Partner Difficult Things

Take a look at Andrew’s new online relationship course: My Best Relationship Tools

Join our Supporters Club to access exclusive behind-the-scenes content, fan requests and the chance to ask Andrew your own questions. Membership starts at just £4.50: patreon.com/andrewgmarshall

Andrew offers regular advice on love, marriage and finding meaning in your life via his social channels. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube @andrewgmarshall