Keeping Score In A Relationship - Episode 57

Are you keeping score in your relationship? Do you constantly point out all the things you do for the relationship, but also make it known the things your partner isn’t doing? Maybe you’re not even aware that you’re doing it, and the impact it’s having on your relationship. Oftentimes, keeping score creates a rift and divide between the couple because in order for a partner to “win”, the relationship must lose. Feelings of resentment, anger, and frustration lead to stress and tension that continues to build up until eventually the relationship breaks and is destroyed.

In this episode, we reflect on how we catch ourselves keeping score even after being together in a healthy and loving relationship for over a decade. We explore why most of us recognize that keeping score is not good for our relationships, yet we end up doing it anyways. We offer suggestions through our own journey on how to stop keeping score all the time, and work on learning to think more with a single team mentality. What we realized is that when we stop competing with each other and only pointing out our flaws, we are happier, stronger and more grateful for our partners.

0:00 Intro

1:16 Welcome banter

3:11 Start of topic

6:44 How we keep score

9:57 Why do we keep score in relationships

16:04 Keeping score hurts your relationship

19:09 We’re on the same team

23:24 How do you stop keeping score

29:51 Takeaways & lessons learned