In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn addresses widespread misconceptions about narcissism by clarifying what the term does not mean. Drawing on clinical examples and years of engagement with public discourse, he explores how the label “narcissist” has become a cultural catch-all for behaviors that are often common, non-pathological, and only proximally related to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This episode examines how actions such as setting a boundary, avoiding emotional intimacy, or disagreeing with someone’s interpretation of events are frequently misread as narcissistic - especially when filtered through shame, hurt, or interpersonal conflict. Dr. Ettensohn distinguishes these behaviors from the psychological structure of narcissism, which involves instability in self-esteem regulation and associated interpersonal strategies. He also addresses the growing tendency to conflate narcissism with abuse, control, gaslighting, or moral failure, arguing that these associations undermine both clinical clarity and compassion. Misusing the term “narcissism” can lead to stigmatization, inhibit treatment-seeking, and reinforce rigid victim-abuser narratives that obscure the mutual complexity of relational harm. This Weekly Insight is a call for greater nuance, clinical integrity, and psychological humility. By understanding what narcissism isn’t, we create more space to see what it is, and how it might be worked with more constructively in both cultural discourse and clinical care. Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8 VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org

Join Dr. Mark Ettensohn from Heal NPD for a live broadcast answering questions and responding to viewer comments.

What does it mean to say that narcissists lack empathy?

In this Weekly Insight, Dr. Ettensohn challenges the common assumption that low empathy is a fixed trait in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Drawing from psychoanalytic theory and clinical observation, he explores how empathy in NPD often collapses in response to internal threat, and how this collapse is due to defenses rather than intrinsic empathy deficits. The episode identifies three core processes that disrupt empathic functioning in NPD: paranoid anxiety, dissociated self-states, and shame-driven defenses against dependency.

These processes help explain the inconsistency, withdrawal, and emotional detachment often seen in narcissistic dynamics.

Whether you identify with narcissistic traits or have been affected by them in others, this video invites a more psychologically informed and humanistic understanding of how empathy functions under distress.

Purchase Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide to Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life here: https://amzn.to/3nG9FgH

LISTEN ON APPLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/cklpum LISTEN ON GOOGLE PODCASTS: https://rb.gy/fotpca LISTEN ON AMAZON MUSIC: https://rb.gy/g4yzh8

VISIT THE WEBSITE: https://www.healnpd.org

Works Cited:

Miller, A. (2008). The drama of the gifted child: The search for the true self (Rev. ed., R. Mannheim, Trans.). Basic Books. (Original work published 1979)