Episode 112: How to find friends that support you and get it!

Friendship becomes a complicated landscape to navigate after losing someone to suicide. That steady ground of connection we once took for granted suddenly shifts beneath our feet as we discover who can truly handle the weight of our grief and who cannot. What's particularly jarring is how the people we expected would be our rocks often disappear, while unlikely sources of support emerge from unexpected corners of our lives.

Grief performs a strange alchemy on our relationships. It transforms casual acquaintances into lifelines and sometimes turns lifelong friends into strangers. This happens not because your friends don't care, but because grief creates a vulnerability that many people simply aren't equipped to handle. We live in a society that remains largely grief-illiterate, where discomfort with emotional pain makes many retreat rather than draw closer when confronted with someone else's raw suffering.

The signs of truly supportive friendship become unmistakably clear in contrast to those who inadvertently cause more harm. Real support never attempts to "fix" your grief or rush you through it. It listens without judgment, even when your emotions seem contradictory or overwhelming. It allows space for both your silence and your stories, letting you talk about your loved one freely—both the beautiful memories and the painful realities of their struggles. Genuinely supportive friends often say simply, "I don't know what to say, but I'm here," acknowledging their limitations while promising their presence.

Finding these people might require looking in new places: grief support groups specifically for suicide loss survivors, coaching communities familiar with grief work, volunteering with suicide prevention organizations, or even curated online spaces where grief is discussed openly. Taking that first step—sending that message, joining that group, or saying yes to an invitation—might feel impossible some days, but connection waits on the other side of that courage.

Sometimes the most healing step is setting boundaries with those who cannot meet you in your grief. Clear communication about what you need (or don't need) gives relationships the chance to adapt, but also gives you permission to step away from connections that demand you shrink your grief to make others comfortable. Your story matters, your grief matters, and so does your need for connection with people who can witness all of it without flinching.

As always, thanks for listening!

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