'Sixty seconds? It takes almost 60 seconds to say your name!' 'Oh, how very droll! _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation. floyd@floydsvoice.com

'Here comes Paul, but what on earth is that ginormous thing he has on a leash?' 'Oh, that's his best friend, his ego. He likes to take it for walkies each day!' _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

'Do you know Des?' 'Oh, sure! He's gold—one of the more complacent people in the community.' 'Ah, I think you mean 'complaisant'—he’s always eager and willing to help.' _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Hey! Aunt Bea is on her way over, and she's bringing bucketloads of sweets! _ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading Andrew Barton 'Banjo' Paterson, CBE (17 February 1864 – 5 February 1941). Patterson wrote the poem in 1896. It was originally published on the 25 July 1896 edition of the Sydney Mail. Mulga Bill's Bicycle tells the hilarious story of Mulga Bill, who thinks he's much better at cycling than he turns out to be. Note: The reading was recorded with faint vinyl effect in the background. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

Reading 'The black dog finds a troubled sleeper ...'

'To be or not to be' is probably the most famous soliloquy. Here is a man, unable to sleep, sitting on the side of his bed in the dark of night, wrestling with even darker thoughts and firmly in the grips of 'that black dog.'

The reference to the 'black dog' is in honour of Mark Twain, who referred to depression as 'that black dog.' Note: The reading was recorded with a faint vinyl effect in the background. __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

'And the Oscar goes to ....(drumroll, please) ...Lenny the Lugubrious!' __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.

'Where's dilatory Dan?' 'Sleeping of course!' __ © The recording may not be altered or used for commercial gain without the express written permission of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson. No individual or entity may clone, reproduce, or record any sound imitating the voice of Floydius-Maximus Jeremy Thomas Jefferson without his express consent or that of his authorised representatives. This includes all methods, such as AI technology and human imitation. Violations will result in legal action and the pursuit of financial compensation.