This week licensed therapist Kati Morton will explain how we can get comfortable expressing our anger, how long is too long to stay with one therapist, and if it’s possible to be too close to our mom growing up. She also explains why looking up our therapist on social media can make us feel bad, and whether or not binge listening to this podcast is good or bad for your mental health.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 253 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. How do I get more comfortable expressing my anger? I have a problem expressing anger. I can feel it but then I don’t know what to do with it. A lot of people have said they find it hard to know what I’m feeling because I can say that I’m angry or pi$$ed off but I don’t look it or sound it. Although I can say I’m angry I can never say it in the moment or to the person I’m angry with. My therapist on the other hand knows instantly. I can tell her I’m doing good and she will give me that therapist look that says “I know you’re lying.” Or I can say I’m angry in a normal tone and she will say something like “I can see you’re angry, shall we talk about it.” At this point I’m... 01:10

2. How long is too long to stay with one therapist? Is it healthy to stay with one for many years? (It’s been close to 6 years) I know at some point things could change as people leave. I’m worried all the time things will change and I’ll feel like I’m in mourning when it ends. 13:38

3. Is there such a thing as being too attached and close to your mother growing up? Can it cause a child to grow up to be codependent or rather, overly dependent? I find that I always ask for my mom’s opinions and reassurance and approval for everything because she is so intelligent and insightful, so I’ve learnt my whole life to trust her opinions more than my own. I wouldn’t call my mom a helicopter parent in any other way apart from this aspect of being very eager to jump in and provide her opinions and thoughts and insights. I wish I was more independent and had more confidence in myself. What are your thoughts on this and how can I work on this? 16:40

4. I have found that I occasionally look up my therapist on social media…I am not able to see much, but I am able to see some things because we have some mutual friends. When I see that they’re happy in their marriage, laughing in pictures, or they have friends they’re spending time with, why does that make me so sad? I usually get anxious and want to cry. I don’t have a spouse or a family of my own so I wonder if it’s just that I so badly long for that and fear I’ll never have it…but then I also wonder if it’s just because I wish I could be my therapist’s friend and they liked me outside of session. I know this isn’t ethical so it won’t happen, but I don’t know why just seeing them happy makes me sad. I don’t feel that way when I see other people so happy. Why does it bother me?! And how do I not let it? I often fear that I am “too much” and have a hard time seeing/believing the good about myself. I want to just be happy when I see people so happy. For context, I was emotionally neglected, bullied, and physically & sexually abused. I do have CPTSD, I am obviously in therapy. I fear I’ll never get to a point where someone will want to be in my life. 24:08

5. I recently found your channel, and I can't stop binge listening to your podcast. Can doing this be an unhealthy coping skill to avoid my own thoughts and feelings? Or do you think this could this be something else? 31:27 MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL @Katimorton BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why we can have a hard time believing we aren’t a horrible person, the effects of having a sibling with mental health issues, and what it really means to “get better.” She also explains what it means to have a “nervous breakdown,” and finally how to cope with emotionally immature parents.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 252 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. I have a really hard time believing I am not a horrible person. My therapist asks me why I can’t accept the good things about myself, but I just can’t. It isn’t that I want to continue to think shitty thoughts about myself, I just can’t break them. How do I do that? I worry I am going to push my therapist away because I can’t seem to break these beliefs about myself. I fear I am wasting her time. For context, I have CPTSD, was emotionally neglected, parentified and have a narcissistic parent…on top of other trauma. Thank you for all you do and for answering our questions! 01:00

2. Could you talk about the effects on the sibling of someone (both same age) who has struggled with severe self-harm for years and suicide attempts (non-violent and luckily not successful) eg. the trauma and what that could look like for the sibling who witnessed everything, the “mental preparation” for believing that they are going to someday be successful at their suicide attempt, the core beliefs formed from it all, the neglect due to a high needs sibling etc. Any and all thoughts on the effects and anything else you can think of would be so appreciated. Thanks for all you do, Kati!! (COMMENT: as an add on, can it affect the person who is struggling when they know a sibling knows? // As an add-on if this relates…can you talk about how witnessing a sibling being physically abused impacts you? Then in turn how being abused by that sibling impacts you? I was bullied a lot outside of the home (my sibling joined in on that), but they were also physically and verbally abusive within the home. I understand they had a lot of big emotions and I was an easy target, but I still wonder how all of it has impacted how I view myself. // As an add on if it relates: I have been in therapy for years but struggle to talk to my siblings about the abuse from our childhood. Any ideas how to open that conversation?) 07:12

3. Hi Kati! It is a weird question, but I am not asking for the specifics: When we say it eventually will get better, what is the broad definition of "get better"? The thing is, it is true that it relatively got better, but it is still so hard, and some aspects become harder, I started to feel like I am in a loop where every time I feel like: I am at the end of the rope now, there is more, I am losing my patience and it is terrifying. 19:16

4. What exactly is a “nervous breakdown”? Is that term outdated? When do I know I’m having one and what should one do? 24:15

5. Hi Kati, how do you cope with parents who were emotionally immature/neglectful/abusive when you were a child, but treat their grandchildren entirely differently..aka giving them the childhood you did not have? I feel like I was treated as an adult when I was a child, and now a child as an adult. Many thanks. (as an add on, if they are still bad for you but are good for your children, should you still allow them to be in your life(ves)?) 26:53

PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains why compassion can sometimes be triggering, how exposure therapy works, and whether or not she has ever lied to a client. Then she talks about internal emotional conflict, the stages of eating disorder recovery, and how we are impacted by our subconscious mind.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 251 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. Why do I get an anxious adrenaline rush every time someone shows any sort of compassion or pity towards me? Whenever friends or even my therapist shows compassion or empathy or when she says things like “I’m so sorry- that must’ve been so hard”, I feel simultaneously really good and acknowledged and cared for, but also very anxious and uncomfortable. Growing up, I... 00:36

2. If the point of exposure therapy is to expose oneself to the anxiety inducing situations in order to prove to ourselves that it’s not that bad or as bad as we think, how is that supposed to work if the situation IS as bad or even worse than what we anticipate? Like if someone has social anxiety, and making a phone call or meeting a friend for coffee is super scary because you worry about saying or doing something embarrassing or not having anything to say or your mind going blank etc., what do you do if every time without a fail you somehow do manage to embarrass yourself and have so many awkward silences and not know what to say? 08:23

3. My question is have you ever lied to a client? Would you ever condone it if you were to lead other clinicians?? When is it hardest for you to be honest with clients? 12:52

4. I'm curious on how to deal with always feeling emotionally internally conflicted. Sometimes I feel great like nothing is wrong with me and then other times I just want to lay in bed and do nothing because everything feels pointless. What happens when this causes you to not fit certain diagnostic criteria? I often feel like I’m asked questions like “what has your general mood been?” or “do you have negative thoughts about yourself?” I have trouble answering because I feel so confused about the conflicting emotions I have. It’s like sometimes I’m confused by how I could even be having negative feelings/thoughts because of how contrary I feel at other times (but not consistently in any sort of pattern). 16:46

5. Hi Kati! First, I’d like to thank you for the wonderful and helpful work that you do. It’s all very much appreciated! After 15 very long years, I’ve finally been able to give up my eating disorder. I’m happy to say that I’ve been behavior free for just over a year. However, I still have body image issues and it certainly doesn’t help that I happen to be overweight (I realize weight loss isn’t the answer). I’m 58 years old and can’t seem to stop the anxiety associated with eating, body size and weight. I grew up in a larger body and experienced trauma associated due to that fact. I’d like to be able to say I’m fully recovered in the new year and never again be triggered by photos of myself. What can you suggest that might help me get the rest of the way? 22:10

6. Hey Kati! I hear a lot about “the subconscious mind,” but more from a spiritual context. Can you talk more about the subconscious mind and how it affects us? 26:32 PUBLISHED BOOKSTraumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIALX https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com