425: Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal—What It Really Takes

Guest: Geoff Steurer, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Betrayal Trauma Specialist, and Co-Host of From Crisis to Connection Episode Summary: In this powerful conversation, Dr. Debi Silber sits down with Geoff Steurer to unpack the deeply layered process of rebuilding trust after betrayal. Whether the betrayal came from infidelity, emotional disconnection, or broken agreements, Geoff explains how couples can not only survive the fallout—but create a completely new, stronger relationship. Drawing from his personal marriage journey and 20+ years of professional experience, Geoff shares the turning point that transformed his own relationship and the essential roadmap he uses with couples navigating the aftermath of betrayal. You’ll hear how full disclosure is not just a confessional but a structured, trauma-informed process that sets the stage for healing. You’ll also learn why most traditional couples counseling fails betrayed couples, what real accountability looks like, and how the betrayer can become a source of strength instead of pain. This episode is a must-listen for anyone considering rebuilding after betrayal—or helping others do the same. 🔑 Topics We Cover: Geoff’s personal betrayal recovery journey—and how it shaped his work The critical “wake-up call” moment that changed everything in his marriage Why many therapists unintentionally retraumatize betrayed partners The anatomy of a successful full disclosure process What betrayed partners really need to heal How betrayers can move from shame into strength and empathy Why traditional “relationship advice” (like more date nights) is premature The emotional cost of “trickle truth” and how to stop it What real intimacy looks like after betrayal Why healing timelines vary—and what a realistic journey looks like The role of courage in rebuilding a relationship from the ground up 💬 Memorable Quotes: “The most compassionate thing a betrayer can do is restore choice to the betrayed partner by telling the full truth.” “You can’t rebuild on sand. If you’re rebuilding, build it on something rock-solid—even if that means facing hard truths first.” “When couples do this work courageously, they often end up with a relationship they never imagined possible.” “Healing after betrayal isn’t about going back. It’s about co-creating something completely new—with mutual accountability, safety, and truth.” 🛠️ Resources Mentioned: From Crisis to Connection Podcast — Geoff’s show and site with his wife, Jody, offering a roadmap for couples healing from betrayal PBT Rebuild Program — For those who’ve betrayed and want to do the deep work of repair and transformation PBT Reclaim Program – For the betrayed who is ready to heal physically, mentally and emotionally 💡 Takeaway: Rebuilding after betrayal is hard—but not impossible. With honesty, accountability, empathy, and the right roadmap, couples can move beyond survival and into transformation. It starts with courageous truth-telling and continues with consistent, individual growth that supports the relationship over time. 🎧 Listen + Subscribe: Don’t miss this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough wherever you get your podcasts.