047 - Emotional Betrayal, Trauma, & Healing

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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

In this episode, we answer these questions:

• In 2006, I found out my husband had a pornography addiction. He later worked at a church and grew close to a female coworker. In January 2021, he admitted relapsing and revealed that this coworker helped him stop, claiming to be in love with her. I saw it as an emotional affair and asked him to stop texting her. Four years later, he still texts her, and I feel betrayed. Am I unreasonable in asking him to sever ties and stop all contact?
• I've been married for 19 years with two children. My husband is generally a good father and husband, but struggles with sexual unfaithfulness, particularly pornography. He claims to be four months porn-free, but we haven't gone through full disclosure. Though we've done groups and counseling, I feel emotionally exhausted and unsupported, especially when he deflects my concerns about his actions. I'm unsure how to manage my exhaustion while supporting him and address his lack of transparency in recovery. What can I do?
• Since 2020 (d-day), my husband has been in therapy, and although we started counseling together, the focus shifted to his healing. He often expresses unhappiness and says the family would be better off without him. He yells at our sons and creates constant conflict. After 4.5 years, I see no growth, and I feel exhausted, considering divorce. I find it odd that his therapist has never reached out to check in with me. Is this normal?

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