Underwater Daughter

A Memoir of Survival and Healing

De: Antonia Deignan

Narrado por: Antonia Deignan

Tuni’s father began sexually abusing her when she was just four-years-old. Her mother, though aware of the abuse, was a silent witness—one either incapable or unwilling to intervene—and the abuse continued until Tuni was 11. Three years later, when Tuni was 14, she was raped by an adult actor who was part of her cast in a professional theater production. These traumas would go on to shape much of her life.

Underwater Daughter follows how Tuni grappled with her relationship with her parents, the aftermath of her rape, an eating disorder, drug and alcohol excesses, and shame as she came of age and began to build a life. In order to not lose her inner innocence, in order to protect herself, in order to believe in love, she began early on to create imaginary worlds into which she could escape—to use dreams to transport her away from her fears. By early adulthood, she was well practiced at slapping lipstick (pink, frosty, kiss-me, gloss-over, perfect lipstick) over whatever darkness might be bubbling beneath. Hired by a dance company right out of high school, she found success as a dancer in Chicago and New York, but in her personal and emotional life, she continued to struggle.

Ultimately, it took her decades of dancing, hiding, faking, f-----g, costuming, implanting, dissociating, marrying, divorcing, and purging—all while staying silent about her past trauma—before a bike accident at age 55 forced her to stop and truly take stock of her life. As she did, she came to a resting place, finally, in regard to her father, developed the loving relationship she’d always wanted with her mother, and came to understand that, in the end, love is all anyone wants—or needs.

©2023 Antonia Deignan (P)2023 Antonia Deignan

Riveting storytelling

Tuni tells her story in a way that you feel you are going through it with her. Chapter by chapter you are cheering her on. While it covers a sensitive subject, she does so with grace sharing her healing along the way.

Hauntingly Beautiful

Raw yet relatable. Powerful yet subtle. This amazing story of trauma and triumph is beautifully narrated by the author. Her words are both compelling and lyrical. This book is an exquisite read!

Brave heart

How do we sustain our personhood and continue to walk through childhood abuse? This is an artful story of how a girl became a brilliant and strong woman in spite of the illnesses of her parents. Its poetic intelligence and reach captivated me. The audible delivery exposed the authors guts so prepare yourself for that. Hold on… it’s a ride.