This Far

My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light

De: Allison Holker

Narrado por: Suzanne Elise Freeman

AMAZON EDITOR’S PICK

“A celebration of the healing power of family and dance, Holker’s memoir shows how to heal from tragedy without wrapping everything up in a neat bow.” – Library Journal

In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.

Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.

Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen’s infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.

For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen’s choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief—especially unexpected loss due to suicide—Allison’s story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.

©2025 Allison Holker (P)2025 Harper Select

Sharing her story on His suicide. I am a survivor and I’ve lost my dad to suicide.

Nothing, it is absolutely heartbreaking when she had to tell her child that he was gone and brought brought back a lot of feelings for me personally.

So real

This was so great. She beautifully depicted her heartbreak and anger. It’s clear that she loves her family so much.

Articulate

Disliked the crackly voice of the narrator. The story was well told on such a hard subject and something I will take with me if I encounter somebody whose family has experienced suicide.

I hated the voice.

I wish someone else voiced this book. It completely ruined it for me. I am wondering if someone else read it and used different tones and afflictions if i would have liked Allison more.

INSPIRING

Real, vulnerable and inspiring to anyone who has loved deeply and lost through tragedy, living through the trauma. I am so thankful Allison wrote this book for her, her children and everyone else in this world. Beautiful story.

Elegantly told

A difficult story told with vulnerability, elegance, and grace. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story.

The raw emotion

Loved the story. The raw emotion of being left behind to pick up the pieces. The pain and sorrow. All the discovery, thinking you had known him so deeply and close. But he was keeping so much inside and not sharing. The struggles he must of had, as well as the author. Thanks for sharing, I am sure this will help so many who have struggled with the same things.

incredible unexpected love life story

I loved this book, so much was unexpected. I really enjoyed listening to your love story. I understand so many things you went through discovering so much hidden from you during your marriage that you thought was wonderful. So many things hidden from her by her husband who she loves and trusted. This happened to my sister. What he did destroyed your family and makes you second guess your whole like together. Bless you and your kids. I love seeing you dance now and in the past. Your positive attitude and personality is somethomg we could all use more of in this world.
Keep dancing and smiling.

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Well written

Well written and well told. While it obviously talked about her late husband it’s a story about her journey. She wrote the truth but in my opinion did not disparage his character. She wrote about him in an honest way and her feelings and emotions after the tragedy.

Very brave

Like many, I was stunned to hear this news. I give Allison a lot of credit for telling her story. I wish her the best of luck moving forward. ❤️