The Dance of Intimacy

A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

De: Harriet Lerner Ph.D.

Narrado por: Harriet Lerner

The Dance of Intimacy takes a careful look at relationships where intimacy is most challenged by too much emotional distance, too much intensity, or simply too much pain. In clear, direct, and dramatic terms, Dr. Lerner illustrates how we can move differently in these relationships, be they with a distant or unfaithful spouse, a depressed sister, a difficult mother, an alcoholic father, an uncommitted lover, a dying parent, or an estranged family member. And she teaches us about "the differences that make a difference": the changes we can make in one or two significant relationships that will affect our capacity for intimacy and selfhood for a lifetime.

The Dance of Intimacy offers no "quick fix" for the human dilemma that we all confront. Instead, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, respectful, and helpful insights on intimate relationships that both men and women may ever encounter. Picking up where the best-selling The Dance of Anger left off, Dr. Lerner redefines the meaning of intimacy for today, and shows how good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones healed.

©1989 Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (P)1997, 2004 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

scattered

I really struggled with this one, even in audio form. I read the Apologize book first and the writing format and narration was just so much smoother, different all around. I am hopeful a couple other Dance ones are better because this author was highly recommended and the conversations she offers are really ones I'd like to address.

Better off not read by the Author

Good info but I couldn't wait to finish it. The authors voice was monotone and inflections were placed in the wrong places. I just finised The Dance with Anger by the same author but read by someone else and it was much better.

Really good

It helps indeed to get a better perpective of how and why we react in certain ways and tips on how to make things better with yourself in order to be better with others.

A true gem!

So much goodness and wisdom in this one that I had to write notes! I also love how different examples of a relationship were given — from romantic partners, to family dynamics.

the narrator skipped chunks on content from the book

The book I feel has great content. I think it really depends on the person reading it and where they are mentally and emotionally. I ended up getting the audible to this for a faster read and was very disappointed because the narrator skipped chunks on content from the book.

Working on self

I needed to hear that the best way to deal with my anxiety is work on myself and self boundaries instead of trying to fix someone else that I am having issues with. So much wisdom in such a short read.

Glad my therapist recommended it

Well written. Concise and to the point. My therapist recommended that I give it a listen.

I loved the book the narration not so much

I read this book years and years ago, decades actually. I am at a point in my life where I thought "I need to go back and be reminded." I wasn't disappointed, Goldhor Lerner's counsel is as good as ever. The narration on the other hand was like being read to. Literally, it was as if Lerner had the book propped up in front of her and she was reading page after page. And she wrote it! I would have hoped she could have injected a bit more verve into it. Still she is a wise and excellent therapist, just not a good narrator.

Review

Compared to other books I read on relationships, I like how this one has many concrete examples that help demonstrate the points. Many of the phenomena in intimate relationships mentioned in the book, including overfunctioning, underfunctioning, pursuing, distancing, etc., reminds me of what I see in my life, and Dr. Lerner has done a good job dissecting them. Although the book's subtitle says it's a woman's guide, I think there are many lessons men could learn from reading it, too. However, the book is a bit lack of structure and the chapter titles are not entirely obvious, which make it hard if you're looking for or want to go back to specific items.

Great read

if you, as a male, can get past the title and the woman focused language, this book gives great insights into intimate relationships regardless of gender. wonderful