Kelpie Christmas
Kelpie Tales, Book 2
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Kelpie Christmas
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Narrado por:
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Cheyenne Bizon
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De:
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Steve Vernon
Acerca de esta escucha
A short story involving a Celtic water spirit (the kelpie), an assassin, a librarian, a ghost, and a Santa-mugging street gang - a wild weird paranormal romance shoot-em-up story - written for listeners who hate to listen to romance.
©2017 Steve Vernon (P)2018 Steve VernonLos oyentes también disfrutaron...
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Kelpie Dreams
- De: Steve Vernon
- Narrado por: Cheyenne Bizon
- Duración: 7 h y 17 m
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General4 out of 5 stars 8
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Narración:4 out of 5 stars 8
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Meet Lady Macbeth - a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag - eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness - with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old sea captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well. Kelpie Dreams is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who hate romance novels.
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5 out of 5 stars
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- Stories
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Knowledge is power. That would be the motto of Lander University, had it not been snatched up and used to death by others long before the school was founded. For while Lander offers a full range of courses to nearly all students, it also offers a small number of specialty classes to a very select few.
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Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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- Duración: 7 h y 17 m
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General4 out of 5 stars 8
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Narración:4 out of 5 stars 8
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 8
Meet Lady Macbeth - a high school librarian, ex-assassin, and part-time kelpie, whose mother wanted to name her Hemorrhoid at birth. Now she has to take on a Sea Hag - eight legs of Godzilla-ugly poured into a bucket full of meanness - with the help of a one-woman army named Rhonda, a 200-year-old sea captain, and a hunky lighthouse keeper who won't admit that he's dead as well. Kelpie Dreams is a funny, action-packed, shoot-em-up paranormal romance novel for folks who hate romance novels.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Bazaar of Bad Dreams
- Stories
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- Duración: 20 h y 11 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 11,065
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 9,967
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 9,955
A master storyteller at his best - the O. Henry Prize winner Stephen King delivers a generous collection of stories, several of them brand-new, featuring revelatory autobiographical comments on when, why, and how he came to write (or rewrite) each story. Magnificent, eerie, utterly compelling, these stories comprise one of King's finest gifts to his constant fan. "I made them especially for you," says King. "Feel free to examine them, but please be careful. The best of them have teeth."
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5 out of 5 stars
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HE'S A CUP OF COFFEE
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Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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The Supervillainy Saga, Volume One
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Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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Since the 1970s, FantasticLand has been the theme park where "Fun is Guaranteed!" But when a hurricane ravages the Florida coast and isolates the park, the employees find it anything but fun. Five weeks later, the authorities who rescue the survivors encounter a scene of horror. Photos soon emerge online of heads on spikes outside of rides and viscera and human bones littering the gift shops, breaking records for hits, views, likes, clicks, and shares.
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They came after the Diseray. Some were terrors ripped from our collective imaginations, remnants of every mythology across the world. And some were like nothing anyone had ever dreamed up, even in their worst nightmares. Now, the luckiest Cits live in enclosed communities, behind walls that keep them safe from the hideous monsters fighting to break through.
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Jim Marlowe and his strange-looking Martian friend, Willis, are allowed to travel only so far. But one day Willis unwittingly tunes in to a treacherous plot that threatens all the colonists on Mars, and it sets Jim off on a terrifying adventure that could save - or destroy - them all.
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RED PLANET--- by Robert A. Heinlein
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The Callahan Chronicals
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This omnibus edition contains the trio of books that introduced the world to Mike Callahan, Jake Stonebender, Doc Webster, Mickey Finn, Fast Eddie Costigan, Long-Drink McGonnigle, Ralph Von Wau Wau, and the rest of the regulars of Callahan's Place, in the stories that helped Spider Robinson to win both a John W. Campbell Award and a legion of fans.
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"My name is Mike Ross. I'm a Ferryman. I help people with ghost problems, or ghosts with people problems. Funny thing, no one ever helps me with my problems. Civil War ghosts bent on killing me, Skinwalkers who just want my body, and a vindictive spirit linked both to my bloodline and my destiny... It turns out the dead still hold a good deal of influence over the world, and they don't want to give it up. I'm in way over my head. Fortunately, I'm too stubborn to quit."
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It's not you, it's me, but really it's you
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Barbara Everette, a homemaker living in a small town in Mississippi, had the perfect life. Perfect husband, perfect children, perfect house, perfect Christian Faith. She cooked and cleaned perfectly and managed all of the chores of the modern suburbanite, toting the kids, running the PTA, teaching kung-fu in the local dojo... perfectly. But perfection has a price, and the day came when Barbara snapped....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not a Novel but a collection of 3 short stories
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Origins of a D-List Supervillain
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Even D-list supervillains have to start somewhere. Follow Cal Stringel's misadventures as he climbs to the lowest levels of supervillany in the prequel to the smash hit, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck. However, the Promethia Corporation isn't going to let him go that easily and sets out to make his life a living hell.
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BEING A VILLIAN IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW,
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Horror, Humor, And Heroes
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Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not bad but short stories shouldn't be this short.
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De: Jim Bernheimer
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 82
Fired from his longtime job as captain of the Coal Patrol, two-foot-three-inch, 1,300-year-old elf Gumdrop Coal is angry. He's one of Santa's original elves, inspired by the fat man's vision to bring joy to children on that one special day each year. But somewhere along the way, things went sour for Gumdrop. Maybe it was delivering one too many lumps of coal for the Naughty List. Maybe it's the conspiracy against Christmas that he's starting to sense down every chimney.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic Holiday Listen
- De PastorJim en 12-17-10
De: Ken Harmon
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Supervolcano
- Eruption
- De: Harry Turtledove
- Narrado por: Jim Frangione
- Duración: 15 h y 22 m
- Versión completa
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General3.5 out of 5 stars 187
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Narración:4 out of 5 stars 171
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Historia3.5 out of 5 stars 172
A supervolcanic eruption in Yellowstone Park sends lava and mud flowing toward populated areas, and clouds of ash drifting across the country. The fallout destroys crops and livestock, clogs machinery, and makes cities uninhabitable. Those who survive find themselves caught in an apocalyptic catastrophe in which humanity has no choice but to rise from the ashes and recreate the world.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Jerky horrible narration.
- De Ann en 04-23-12
De: Harry Turtledove
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Monster Hunter International
- De: Larry Correia
- Narrado por: Oliver Wyman
- Duración: 24 h
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 20,493
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 18,518
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 18,491
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- De Konstantin en 02-17-12
De: Larry Correia
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Flood
- A Novel (Burke, Book 1)
- De: Andrew Vachss
- Narrado por: Christopher Lane
- Duración: 12 h y 7 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 428
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Narración:4 out of 5 stars 323
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 328
Burke's newest client is a woman named Flood, who has the face of an angel, the body of a high-priced stripper, and the skills of a professional executioner. She wants Burke to find a monster for her - so she can kill him with her bare hands. In this thriller, Andrew Vachss's renegade private eye teams up with a lethally gifted avenger to follow a child's murderer through the catacombs of New York, where every alley is blind and the penthouses are as dangerous as the basements.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Noir!
- De Snoodely en 03-06-14
De: Andrew Vachss
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All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault
- De: James Alan Gardner
- Narrado por: Emily Woo Zeller
- Duración: 13 h y 55 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 180
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 162
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 162
Kim Lam is an ordinary college student until a freak scientific accident (what else?) transforms Kim and three housemates into Sparks - and drafts them into the never-ending war between the Light and Dark. They struggle to master their new abilities - and (of course) to design cool costumes and come up with great hero-names. Turns out that "accident" was just the first salvo in a Mad Genius's latest diabolical scheme. Now it's up to four newbie heroes to save the day, before they even have a chance to figure out what their team's name should be!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great start to a new series!
- De Donaithnen en 11-16-17
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Immortal
- The Immortal Series, Book 1
- De: Gene Doucette
- Narrado por: Steve Carlson
- Duración: 9 h y 57 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 692
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 643
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 642
Surviving 60,000 years takes cunning and more than a little luck. But in the 21st century, Adam confronts new dangers - someone has found out what he is, a demon is after him, and he has run out of places to hide. Worst of all, he has had entirely too much to drink.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great story that will make you think about life!
- De MJP en 12-22-16
De: Gene Doucette
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Missing Links
- De: Rick Reilly
- Narrado por: Bronson Pinchot
- Duración: 8 h y 1 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 273
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 220
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Missing Links is the story of four middle-class buddies who live outside Boston and play golf together at Ponkaquogue Municipal Golf Links and Deli, not so fondly known as Ponky. An 18-hole garbage dump with hazards that include a concrete river surrounded by a chain-link fence and the pillars of the elevated train that runs through the course, it is reputed to be the worst golf course in America.
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3 out of 5 stars
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"F" word is pervalent in the story...
- De Todd and Gabriela en 09-04-11
De: Rick Reilly
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The Misfits
- De: James Howe
- Narrado por: Spencer Murphy, the Full Cast Family
- Duración: 4 h y 54 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 109
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 77
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 73
A little too smart, a little too fat, Bobby Goodspeed has always been a go-along-to-get-along kind of guy. But when his friend Addie decides to tackle the student council elections, Bobby finds himself changing in ways he never could have imagined in this tender, touching, utterly hilarious novel of life as a middle school misfit.
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5 out of 5 stars
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WELL DONE! The Misfits by James Howe
- De PARE en 01-09-12
De: James Howe
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Hellbent
- Cheshire Red Reports, Book 2
- De: Cherie Priest
- Narrado por: Natalie Ross
- Duración: 10 h y 36 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 270
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 242
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 243
Vampire and thief Raylene Pendle doesn’t need more complications in her life. Her Seattle home is already overrun by a band of misfits, including Ian Stott, a blind vampire, and Adrian deJesus, an ex–Navy SEAL/drag queen. But Raylene still can’t resist an old pal’s request: seek out and steal a bizarre set of artifacts. Also on the hunt is a brilliant but certifiably crazy sorceress determined to stomp anyone who gets in her way.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Nice Second Installment
- De Tiffani en 09-02-11
De: Cherie Priest
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Bubba the Monster Hunter: Books 1-3
- De: John G. Hartness
- Narrado por: John Solo
- Duración: 37 h y 55 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 1,574
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 1,448
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 1,445
Robert "Bubba" Brabham never wanted to hunt monsters. He mostly wanted to drink beer, hunt deer, and chase women, like every other giant redneck in the world. But life interfered, and Bubba found himself holster-deep in the family business: monster hunting. Now he's the Southeastern Regional Hunter for the Holy Roman Catholic Church...Bubba has to save the world from the things that go bump in the night! Just as soon as he's done with his beer. And maybe after one more lap dance.
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2 out of 5 stars
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This is not Bubba Shackelford
- De SamR en 08-06-19
De: John G. Hartness
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The Black Company
- Chronicles of The Black Company, Book 1
- De: Glen Cook
- Narrado por: Marc Vietor
- Duración: 10 h y 54 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 6,398
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 5,503
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 5,505
Some feel the Lady, newly risen from centuries in thrall, stands between humankind and evil. Some feel she is evil itself. The hardbitten men of the Black Company take their pay and do what they must, burying their doubts with their dead - until the prophesy: The White Rose has been reborn, somewhere, to embody good once more. There must be a way for the Black Company to find her....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Hard Boiled Morally Ambiguous Epic Fantasy
- De Jefferson en 03-18-11
De: Glen Cook
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- De: Elliott James
- Narrado por: Roger Wayne
- Duración: 10 h y 34 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 2,180
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 2,002
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 2,004
John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- De Suzanne en 05-24-14
De: Elliott James
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Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- De: Rob Reger
- Narrado por: Angela Goethals
- Duración: 5 h y 42 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Narración:5 out of 5 stars 29
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 28
Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- De Vkatz76 en 05-20-23
De: Rob Reger
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The Chosen
- De: John G. Hartness
- Narrado por: Andrew McFerrin
- Duración: 6 h y 48 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 89
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 78
What do you get when you mix a couple of immortals, a snotty archangel, the Father of Lies, a redneck street preacher and a couple of wiseass waitresses from Texas?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good Story Bad Ending
- De Mario en 05-13-15
De: John G. Hartness
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Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- De: Matt Carter
- Narrado por: Nicholas Techosky
- Duración: 9 h y 51 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 2,168
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 1,961
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 1,959
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- De Jim "The Impatient" en 01-13-17
De: Matt Carter
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Undead and Unwed
- Queen Betsy, Book 1
- De: MaryJanice Davidson
- Narrado por: Nancy Wu
- Duración: 9 h y 10 m
- Versión completa
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General4 out of 5 stars 2,967
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Narración:4 out of 5 stars 1,877
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Historia4 out of 5 stars 1,870
Waking up in a tacky coffin and wearing off-brand shoes, Betsy Taylor can't believe the horrible turn her life has taken; then she discovers she's a vampire. Soon, Betsy becomes a participant in a power struggle between the forces of darkness. With only her friend Jessica and the hunky vampire Sinclair to help her, this new "Queen of Vampires" will have a tough time getting her afterlife straight.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Great Concept / Annoying Character
- De Vanessa en 07-28-09
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Red Planet
- De: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrado por: Zach Villa
- Duración: 6 h y 11 m
- Versión completa
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General4.5 out of 5 stars 482
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Narración:4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Historia4.5 out of 5 stars 413
Jim Marlowe and his strange-looking Martian friend, Willis, are allowed to travel only so far. But one day Willis unwittingly tunes in to a treacherous plot that threatens all the colonists on Mars, and it sets Jim off on a terrifying adventure that could save - or destroy - them all.
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5 out of 5 stars
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RED PLANET--- by Robert A. Heinlein
- De Stephen Hickman en 12-29-16
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Kelpie Christmas
Calificaciones medias de los clientesReseñas - Selecciona las pestañas a continuación para cambiar el origen de las reseñas.
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Total3 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución4 out of 5 stars
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Historia3 out of 5 stars
- Deedra
- 06-09-18
Kelpie Christmas
This was ok.I found it a bit weirder than the first Kelpie book.Cheyenne Bizon was a good narrator.I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.
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Total5 out of 5 stars
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Ejecución5 out of 5 stars
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Historia5 out of 5 stars
- LITRPG Audiobook Reviews
- 03-31-18
Father Xmas, give us some money or else . . .
This is one of those stories in which you love the heroes, but kind of want to root for the bad guys. Our good Lady MacBeth is back with her pals, Rhonda the hitchick, and Angus the Kelpie, and they are out to stop whomever is beating the crap out of those bell ringing Santa's. This is sort of like saying they were out to stop people from beating up mimes. You know it is wrong, but you also sooooo badly understand it. You might even want to join in. Well, you might!!! I'm not saying bell ringing Santa's deserve it, but . . . . .
Anyway, this piece is plenty of funny. Can you imagine a Kelpie Reindeer? What amazes me is how easily Vernon goes from funny to stone cold horror in a heartbeat. He can write light and fluffy and then his next tale will melt the slippers off your grandmother. Here, he sticks with the funny stuff, and this is one of those shorts that you can enjoy with a laugh every minute of so. The nice thing is is that the story is only a half hour long, and so you can listen for a brief bit and pick up your whole day for that short investment.
Bizon has rapidly become Lady Cordelia, and she seems to enjoy reading the stories of the Mermaid as much as we enjoy listening to her. She accentuates things at just the right moment, or adds a little spin on what she is saying, that only adds to the humor.
I would say this is a fun little holiday tale, but it can be listened to at any time of the year. You'll probably listen to it throughout the various seasons, so don't think of this as being just a Christmas tale. Think of this as a knock down, drag out, laugh 'em up story that you'll enjoy! Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.
If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!
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