Fool Me Once

Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband?

De: Caroline Madden PhD

Narrado por: Cathi Colas

You've discovered that your husband has cheated on you. Maybe, you've discovered incriminating emails or text messages from his lover, or worse, you have actually seen them together. Your world is crashing down. You feel like a nuclear bomb just decimated your entire world, and you are trying to shield yourself from the fallout. This is very likely the most painful experience you've ever had. You've been sucker-punched in the soul. Infidelity in marriage makes you doubt everything, including your own judgement.

You are so confused. Your emotions are volatile - one minute you're so angry you could claw his eyes out, but the next moment, you're devastated with grief because you fear he will to leave you for his affair partner. You never wanted a divorce, but somehow, you are now in this position. Do you take him back or blow up your family? What about the kids? It's all so unfair!

Ever since you were a young woman, you told all your friends that if your man ever cheated on you, you would be so out of there. But life isn't black and white anymore, is it? You love your husband. Sure, there might have been issues, but you know that marriage is work.

You've built a life together. You have a home. You have children. You cringe at the idea of being a single mother and hitting the dating scene. He seems sincere in wanting to work things out. You want to stay married. But then you think to yourself: "Only weak women stay with cheaters. Strong women walk out!" Then you loop and want a divorce, until you think of your kids being split between two homes, and now, you want to stay married. Rinse, repeat.

You can't even think straight and you keep going through a never ending loop of ambivalence. You will never get unstuck until you develop criteria around whether your husband is sincere in wanting your marriage to recover after infidelity.

Dr. Caroline Madden is a licensed marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping women recover from their husband's infidelity. In Fool Me Once, she shares the criteria she uses to determine if a man is truly remorseful and determined to save his marriage or if he is likely to cheat again.

Here are some of the information she shares:

• The five things that look suspicious (but probably aren't)
• The five signs you should consider giving him another chance
• The seven signs that he is going to cheat again (and you will be hurt again)

Infidelity in marriage is traumatic, and you need to take time to assess the situation. Fool Me Once will give you the tools you need to evaluate your relationship. It will help you determine whether you should trust your husband or not and decide if your marriage is worth saving.

As they say: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

©2014 Caroline Madden (P)2020 Caroline Madden

Get Back To You

This is an excellent book if you are considering the possibilities to work on your relationship. she validated everything I was feeling and provided good insight on what to look for to more forward. I hope the saying is true, time heals all wounds. Good luck.

Good Listen

If you are struggling with your own feelings this is an insightful walk through your emotional roller coaster! I would recommend!

Practical Advice

The author provides straight-forward, practical advice for women who have been cheated on. I found this book extremely helpful.

Blindsided by a good man & want to forgive him?

This is the book for you. She specializes in the scenario, which pessimists don’t want to believe occur. Her insight and practical advice is fantastic. She’s a practicing therapist who knows her stuff. We’ve listened to all three of her books and could have saved ourselves thousands in working with the wrong therapists and books!

Best most relevent reading !

This matches most of the stories of betrayal that I have heard at Marriage retreats ! Everyone should read this ... it makes a real difference

Greatly Needed

This book was a supportive roadmap with an objective viewpoint. It took me out of emotion to logic. Very helpful.

Does not hold cheaters fully accountable for natural consequences of their decisions to cheat

Does not hold cheaters fully accountable for natural consequences of their decisions to cheat She seems to think protecting the cheater from negative judgment or from having to face the extent and severity of his or her dishonest / cheating behavior is more important than the betrayed being able to speak their truth and the author doesn’t seem to acknowledge that encouraaging the betrayed to keep the cheaters bad behavior secret makes the betrayed have to carry some of the betrayers shame feelling like something that happened to them is too terrible to talk honestly about. This causes the betrayed partner to have to carry a dark secret.. Also, some adult children have resentment when they have been lied to or misled about the circumstances of the divorce - they may have been mad at the wrong parent for years not knowing the truth. Overall I felt she was giving a rather chauvinistic / boys will be boys, and advocatimg to spare male cheaters full accountability.

who's the fool

Felt like it was more about defending a cheating husband and why the partner that was cheated on should have and show empathy for the cheater