As if falling in love with two people instead of one wasn't complicated enough, before I pluck up the courage to tell them how I feel, they decide to accept a football scholarship and move out of state. Finally, as though someone’s playing a cruel joke on me, I find out they are about to become my stepbrothers.

I've spent so many years fantasizing about this kind of thing I've lost count, and now that it’s here, I can hardly believe my luck. That’s right before my mom drops a bombshell, of course, and fate stabs me in the ass with his sharpened sword. Twins Logan and Jack are perfect in every single way but one. They’re about to become my stepbrothers.

Ryan has money. Not just real-life rich but fairy-tale money that can change my life. He offers me $50,000 to be his companion. I don’t know exactly what’s going to be involved, but I’m a stripper, so I think I have a pretty good idea. When I get to his home, nothing is as I expect. He doesn’t touch me. Not straight away. He treats me like I’m his girlfriend.

They call him Big D because he is. Tall and broad, with muscles so thick and good that all I can think about is getting a grip on his biceps and squeezing. Then there’s the other reason. All the girls talk about it. I’m not sure how everyone knows he’s hung like a horse, but they do. I try not to think about it, because he’s a popular football player who everybody knows, and I’m just the work-focused history major who likes to stay mostly invisible at school. But when my professor pulls me aside and asks if I’d be willing to tutor a failing student, suddenly it’s impossible to ignore.

They call him The Donkey because of the size of his dick. I call him it because he's a complete and total ass. I hate Landon Maddox with a passion, and I haven't even met him yet. Underwear model, star quarterback, arrogant, muscle-headed prick. I never wanted a stepbrother in the first place, and now I have one that thinks he's a God. Seriously. If his most famous asset isn't beaming down at me from billboard posters all over the city, he's spread across the front pages of every single newspaper, always for the wrong reasons.